More like 30 Sprockets, amiright?
30 Rock had its German television debut Sunday night, garnering fewer than 5,000 viewers. Oof. The show premiered on ZDFNeo as part of their $44 million relaunch as a channel for “cutting-edge programming for a younger demographic.” [THR] The channel previously aired documentaries and averaged a 0.3% market share. They sought to double their market share with American programs 30 Rock and The Sentinel and BBC comedy Taking the Flak.
30 Rock was their flagship program, and it got a 0.0% market share on it’s debut. Somebody gon’ be pregnant fired. You know, when you get fired in Germany, your boss unceremoniously strips the umlauts from your name. Umlauts are for closers, Heinz.
I hope you took your daily dose of acid this morning, because things are about to get creepy and German around here. The video below is something odd and spandex-filled called “Kinderkreis,” and I’m going to let Ad Rants to describe it:
“Kinderkreis,” a universe constructed for Gushers video “Danse Gooshers,” is a fictional TV show where occasionally uncomfortable-looking German kids are offered a product. Then they tell the host how they feel about it — think “crazy with happiness!” — and a series of spandex-ensconced interpretive dancers pump out that sentiment to the best of their abilities.
Basically, this is the Mike Myers “Sprockets” sketch crossed with the Mike Myers dance interludes in Austin Powers crossed with the feeling you might get from a heavy petting session with Mike Myers. And when I started that last sentence, I had no intention of there being so much Mike Myers. But the video is just that disturbing.
German financial adviser Bontrust wants you to know that your money will multiply with them. How will they do that? Well, the stock market is more of an art than a science, but it’s like this: Dollar Abe Lincoln meets Pound Queen Elizabeth II in the park, then there’s a courtship period, then around the third date they rush back to his place and get NASTY. She fellates him, then the dollar pounds the pound, and Abe doesn’t have protection, but she says, “it’s okay, you can come in me, I’m on the pill.” BOOM! A couple months later, you have more money. And QEII gets right back to work, getting flirty with Yuan Mao. What a slut.
Anyway. Is anyone else kind of amazed that a company can show animated characters having graphic sex on German TV? I mean, I assume it’s a TV commercial: it seems like an awful lot to spend on detailed computer animation to have as a Web-only video. Also, that scene was kind of hot, right? Or have I been watching too much hentai?
[Videogum]
This is a German television commercial that suggests you shop online instead of going to stores. Without going into details, it’s right up there with the Holocaust and scheisse porn in the category of “Things Germans Really Shouldn’t Have Shared with the World.” (David Hasselhoff was on that list until the hamburger video.)
[Videogum]
