I hate Jon and Kate Gosselin stories way more than you do, but I’m relenting on my coverage ban on them because this is pretty gangsta: Jon is vacationing in St. Tropez with the DAUGHTER OF KATE’S PLATIC SURGEON.  And she’s 12 years younger than Kate.  Can we go to the judges?  Yep, that’s a burn.

Just weeks after splitting from his wife of 10 years, Jon Gosselin is back in the spotlight with a new career and a new girlfriend. Gosselin, 32, turned up in St. Tropez hand-in-hand with Hailey Glassman, the daughter of the plastic surgeon who performed Kate’s tummy tuck in 2006. The lovebirds spent the weekend along the French Riviera so Gosselin could finalize a deal to design his own line of children’s clothing with Ed Hardy designer Christian Audigier [on Audigier's yacht, no less]. Glassman will also have a hand in creating the kid-friendly fashions. “She’ll have a lot of input with Christian,” Gosselin told PEOPLE of Hailey’s involvement. “And I will, too.” [People via BWE]

I’m going to pretend for a moment that there aren’t eight children dealing with divorce right now, because that makes it way easier to say that this is AWESOME.  Even better: Hailey is your average pot-smoking, panty-flashing 22-year-old who crashes into potted plants.  He left the confines of his marriage with a stentorian control freak for the nearest party girl.  It’s so predictable and awful that I can’t help but feel an immense schadenfreude that makes me want to dance down the street and wave to strangers.

See you in hell, everyone!