Here’s something I learned today: Got Milk? ads still exist. I thought they stopped being made, oh, about a decade ago, but nope, they’re still running strong. Or still running mediocre, but lazy, in the case of this one for “Modern Family.” Thanks for reminding me, List on Dated Celebrity Endorsements.

The — let’s face it — creepy ads have been running consistently for nearly 20 years now, with such luminaries as former-Atlanta Falcons quarterback Chris Chandler, the Pillsbury Dough Boy, and the Kentucky Wildcats mascot all sporting a Milk Mustache. Dozens of TV stars have also donned the suggestive creamy white soup-strainers over the past two decades. (I, for one, drink malk.) Here are some of the “best.”

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To honor the 70th anniversary of the attacks on Pearl Harbor, a group of 24 World War II veterans associated with a Denver-based group called The Greatest Generation Foundation went to Hawaii recently to pay their respects. Unfortunately, the ceremony they tried to hold at the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific was repeatedly interrupted by a crew filming CBS’s updated version of “Hawaii Five-0.” The crew apparently traipsed around the cemetery, did not pay their respects when “The Star-Spangled Banner” was played, and at one point even shushed the group of veterans. So, the group did what millions of intelligent TV viewers have wanted to do for years, and gave CBS the finger.

The obscene gesture was delivered in unison from a bus as they were leaving, and left them all in stitches of laughter.

Mr Tubbs said: ‘This was immature of me, but I said, “Gentlemen, if you so choose, how about we give them one big one-fingered military salute?”’

The last thing the production crew saw, he said, was a bunch of 90-year-old men flipping the bird at them. ‘It was one of the priceless moments of my life.’ [Daily Mail]

Dear Lord, that is fantastic. I hope they swing by the set of “Two and a Half Men” next.

Believe me, I was just as surprised as you to learn that Zachary Quinto of “Heroes” and “24″ (and of course Spock from the Star Trek reboot) came out of the closet. I don’t have a problem with it; I just didn’t see that…

…coming?

Get out your confetti and best parade outfit, people. We have a hero on our hands.

A man named Matt Richardson has invented a device he calls The Enough Already Project that, when attached to your television, will mute any and all undesired sound. In other words, you can program it to mute out any mention of stories you’re sick of, or particular voices that send you up a tree. For me, as you may be able to tell from the banner pic, this means I would never have to hear Nancy Grace’s stupid voice again. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Why don’t you just not watch her show? Isn’t that the simplest solution?” Well, it would be, except other idiot shows insist on having her on or talking about her all the time. There is nothing worse than sitting around, minding your own business, and getting sucker punched with a Nancy Grace interview or news segment. Well, NO MORE.

I can’t stress strongly enough how important this invention is. I mean, did you know Kim Kardashian is having TWO wedding receptions? And that her wedding will cost $500,000? And that, despite the family making $65 million last year, they won’t pay a nickel for it? You could filter the WHOLE FAMILY right out of your life. This invention could end up being a more potent cure for high blood pressure than anything the pharmaceutical industry will ever produce.

I’ve posted the video of the inventor explaining the in’s and out’s of the device after the jump, but I’ll warn you, it’s pretty science-y. Like, he’s all “put the flux dingalator onto the whoosy flingabobber and then enter in the A729BANANA magiflocter” and stuff. It took all I had not to shove a stranger into a locker while watching it.

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Marvel Comics has created a new television development department with a new executive vice president in charge of television. That means one of two things happened: (1) The company saw an opening in the TV superhero market created by “Heroes” and ABC’s “No Ordinary Family” (airing next fall), or (2) Someone realized that re-booting the Spider-Man movies with fresh-faced gaybait maybe isn’t the best long-term business plan.

Anyway, the details are surprisingly awesome:

Earlier today, Marvel announced that Jeph Loeb will be the Executive Vice President in charge of Television, which is a newly created position at Marvel. Loeb’s duties will include overseeing the development of live-action and animated Marvel TV series…

Loeb is primarily known as comic book writer with several titles to his credit… However, Loeb has worked extensively on television series, including “Lost,” “Heroes” and “Smallville.” Additionally, Loeb wrote the films “Commando” and “Teen Wolf” back in the ’80s. [MTV]

The world as I know it makes so much more sense now that I know that Commando was written by a comic book writer. That goes a long way in explaining this:

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