History was made last night, and I hope you weren’t watching. Yesterday, at exactly 8:30 p.m. EST, ABC premiered “Work It,” arguably the most offensive show of all-time. It’s about two dudes who dress up like ladies because women be stealing all our jobs. IT’S A MANCESSION, PEOPLE. The show’s homophobic, sexist, a little racist, and definitely awful. Like, “Homeboys in Outer Space”-level awful.

“Work It” joins a unique group of shows that can only be defined as “offensive,” both critically and culturally. I’m not talking about series like “South Park” and “All In the Family,” which many totally clueless writers have mislabeled as “the most offensive shows ever”; I’m referring to shows so lacking in decency and taste, they make the “Partial Terms of Endearment” episode of “Family Guy” seem like “The Joy of Painting” by comparison.

Here we go.

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Below, I have posted a clip of Wil Wheaton, tech writer and former “Star Trek: The Next Generation” actor, discussing the Kardashians as part of a panel with Chris Hardwick. Money quote:

“Why do I try so hard to create art? Why do I try so hard to add value to the world when I could just be a dumb, worthless piece of sh-t, and a multi, multi, multi-millionaire? It’s awful. It’s horrible. That is the most depressing thing. The Kardashians are more depressing to me than Hitler.”

Judges?

So, to summarize: Wil Wheaton > Everyone else > Hitler > The Kardashians.

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I’m tired of PSAs always looking out for people’s safety and well-being at the cost of doing fun things like drugs and smoking and driving drunk. That’s what’s so refreshing about this PSA. Well, that and the Hitler joke. Hitler jokes are one of our greatest national resources.

[via BuzzFeed]

I don’t know about you, but I always like to start my day with Hitler singing the theme song to “The Jeffersons.” I just like the idea of a racist genocidal monster wailing like a black woman backed by a gospel choir. Germany’s movin’ on up! To the Sudetenland! Dropping deluxe bombs on Poland from the skyyyyy!! Movin’ on up! Into Russia! We finally made 6 million Jews diiiiie.

…what? Too soon?

[BuzzFeed]

I got those bitches a Holocaust. Bitches love Holocausts.

Hitler’s Suicide Ship (National Geographic) — Now that History has abandoned its 24/7 Hitler coverage, NatGeo steps in with this special, followed by Hunting Hitler’s Generals. Hmmmm… sounds good, but is there Hitler-punching?

Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition (ABC) — Season finale. Chris tries to whip a super-fat mom (445 pounds) into shape for the Disneyland Marathon. No other marathon would do, because no other marathon advertises the properties of ABC’s owners.

Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (Travel) — Bourdain goes to Naples, where I can only hope that everyone he meets speaks in stereotypically broken English. “Antonio! Come-a eat-a dis pizza pie!”

Warehouse 13/Alphas (Syfy) — Some geek-ass commenter always chimes in with the Syfy shows when I don’t mention them. So here they are.

The Bachelorette (ABC) — Last week, Ashley eliminated Ames, the guy who was CLEARLY gay. Yes, I watched it with my girlfriend. And as much of a time-wasting farce as the “Bachelor/Bachelorette” franchise is, I actually kind of enjoy watching it if I have an audience to hear me make fun of the show. Because it’s all about me.