It’s become en vogue for networks to make promotional videos that incorporate characters from their various shows (ABC, Syfy, and HBO have all done it), and now Fox has raised the bar the only way that Fox can: by making an unnecessarily lurid spot in which characters from “Bones,” “House,” and “Fringe” gather in a strip club where all the female characters (save Emily Deschanel) are portrayed as either lesbians or strippers. Even Lisa Edelstein’s Cuddy, the Dean of Medicine and hospital administrator in “House,” is working a pole. Why? Because shut up and tits, that’s why.

[The Live Feed]

House, M.D. (Fox) –Mos Def guest-stars as a bicycle accident victim who suffers from locked-in syndrome (same condition as in The Diving Bell and the Butterfly), and I guess this is a special episode because a lot of it is told from the patient’s perspective, or something.

Chuck (NBC) — Tricia Helfer joins the cast as a sexy blonde secret agent who evaluates the other sexy blonde secret agent.  So be careful if you ever meet a sexy blonde, because she’s probably a secret agent.

24 (Fox) — “The FBI collaborates with other agencies as theories linking Starkwood and Sangala begin to emerge and thousands of lives are placed in jeopardy.”  Only thousands of lives?  This show’s really dropped off.

The Big Bang Theory (CBS) — Nerds have trouble interacting with attractive people.

For the Love of Ray J (VH1) — Sometimes I hate VH1.

Gossip Girl (CW) — Serena (Blake Lively) throws a Sweet 16 party for Jailbait Jenny (Taylor Momsen).  They’re both sexy blondes, so they’ve got future careers as secret agents in common.

Death Cat!’s appearance on “House, M.D.” headlined yesterday’s edition What’s On Tonight, and as awesome as the image of a little grim reaper kitten is, few things in life are better than hearing the words, “The cat was right, House.” (via Videogum)

Am I the only one who feels like that was lifted from a pulp noir novel?  “The cat was right.  The cat was always right.  But that doesn’t mean he always told the truth.  Which is why I still get paid to do what I do.”

…no?  It’s just me?  All right then, I’ll go easy on the peyote.