Gratuitous censorship turns this “Ice Road Truckers” clip into “Ice Road F*ckers,” and even though the premise is childish and well-worn (see Jimmy Kimmel’s similar bit  or Food Network porn), I still think it’s funny. I’m also a grown man who regularly expresses his opinion by making fart sounds with his mouth, so I’m not going to pretend that I’m some paragon of intelligent humor. For the record, I can also make fart sounds by putting my hand in my armpit or with my hands alone. Or with my butt, of course. I figure goes without saying.

Anyway, I’m going to keep this post in mind the next time someone asks me why I didn’t go to grad school. I plan to respond with an array of fart noises.

[BuzzFeed]

Fatcat thought he was going to the set of "Ice Cream Truckers."

“Ice Road Truckers” has been a success for History, as the channel has slowly moved away from its expansive Hitler coverage into the world of reality TV. I’ve never seen an episode, but as I understand it, it involves icy roads and trucks. Naturally, the next step is a movie. Directed by the guy who did Max Payne. In 3-D.

[John Moore and an unnamed writer are] hatching a plot around the storyline of the series, which covers a group of truckers who drive 18-wheelers over a 350-mile highway made of ice, as they haul equipment and supplies to diamond miners working in the tundra of Canada’s Northwest Territories. It’s a dangerous job given the brutal cold, breakdowns, crashes and melting ice on the remote roads are potentially fatal.  “It is very much a tough guy movie,” Moore said. “Here’s a bunch of characters who tackle problems by getting in there and getting things done. We’ll turn it into a mission movie that harkens back to Towering Inferno, Jaws, or The Guns of Navarone. You got a problem, go solve it.” [Deadline]

Wow, I wouldn’t have thought to compare Guns of Navarone and Jaws. But yeah, I guess Jaws was the Nazi artillery fortress of sharks. And both movies end with the title villain getting blown up. Oops, that’s a spoiler. Sorry, I don’t do spoiler alerts for classic movies that were in the theaters 30 to 50 years ago. Also, Bruce Willis was dead the whole time. Deal with it.

Pictured: No episode of “Ice Road Truckers” ever

Following up on the success “Ice Road Truckers,” the History Channel has approved of several new reality series, including shows about artifact hunters and rivalries at a NASCAR track. My favorite, however, has to be the spin-off of “Ice Road Truckers”:

For next summer, [History president and GM Nancy] Dubuc plans to introduce “Extreme Trucking,” which takes the North American-based “Ice Road Truckers” format to locations worldwide where truckers navigate hazardous highways.

“There’s an endless supply of dangerous roads, and they’re in places where they’re highly unregulated,” she said. [THR]

“We’re always looking to develop new content where we have the chance to get footage of people falling to their deaths,” she continued, “and if it involves a big rig jack-knifing off a cliff and tumbling down a sheer rock face before exploding into a gruesome inferno, all the better.” Dubuc then added, “Our viewers deserve to see these brave truckers at work. Especially if they die.”