In what has become a weekly helping of delicious schadenfreude, “The Jay Leno Show” has yet again fallen to a glorious new low in the ratings.
Guess Who Beat Jay Leno! Last week it was SpongeBob’s 10th-anniversary special “SpongeBob SquarePants: Truth or Square” on Nickelodeon. Not only did SpongeBob log more viewers than Jay on Friday — 8 million to Jay’s 5 million — but he also copped more of the 18-to-49-year-old audience Jay targets so assiduously and SpongeBob does not. [WaPo]
I think I finally understand how torturers can enjoy what they do. The pain and agony of suffering is far more entertaining than death. If Leno got canceled, that would be a single joyous blog post. But these new and spectacular failures are seemingly endless. I mean, NBC gave this show a two-year contract. By the end of its run, Leno’s guests will be whichever corporate executives pay the most to be a guest, and the ad rates for a commercial will be so cheap you’ll be able to buy a 30-second spot to run the YouTube video of your choice. I recommend this one.
HURRRRRRRRRR
If you woke up this morning wondering if Jay Leno is still awful in every way possible, the answer is yes. Yes, Jay Leno is still awful in every way possible.
Leno says he would have rather stayed put at “The Tonight Show” – and if NBC offered him that job again, he’d take it.
In an interview with Broadcasting & Cable magazine published online Monday, Leno hastily added that such a decision isn’t his to make. Conan O’Brien, his successor as “Tonight” host after 17 years, is “doing fine,” Leno said. [AP]
“Oh yeah, Conan’s doing… uh, fine. I absolutely want to displace him and take my old job back, but he’s doing great. Just… great. No no no — I’m not in charge at NBC. I can’t make that decision for them. It would absolutely be someone else’s decision to be an Indian giver of the ‘Tonight Show’ hosting duties, and I would never suggest that they should do that, merely that I’d be very happy if they did. Also, I recently took eight newborn babies and burned them in my back yard.”
Part of the reasoning for NBC feeling all cocky about Jay Leno’s 10 p.m. talk show was the belief that new Leno shows would gain in the ratings when the dramas competing in the time slot inevitably went to reruns. According to a new report from Schadenfreude Daily, nope.
Monday, the presence of a repeat of “C.S.I. Miami,” the most formidable network competition Mr. Leno faces on that night, did not provide any relief from a recent spate of declining numbers for NBC in the 10 p.m. hour.
In the initial overnight ratings, Mr. Leno hit his lowest numbers yet for a Monday, with just 4.6 million viewers and only a 1.3 rating among the group that NBC uses as its standard for success –viewers between the ages of 18 and 49.
That 1.3 was below even the modest number NBC executives announced before the season as what would be acceptable for Mr. Leno: a 1.5. [NYT]
I honestly can’t get enough of these stories about Leno failing. I actually kind of hope he stays on the air just so I can keep reading about him continuing to fail. Thank you, NBC, for making this atrocious decision. Now if CBS would just get around to firing Letterman, we can finally anoint Conan king. Nothing personal, Dave, but you did get to nail a lot of women during your tenure.
Let’s take a look at Tuesday night’s ratings, shall we? Coming in first at the 10 o’clock slot was whatever CBS aired, because bland Americans love CBS’s unique brand of televised gruel. In second: the highly anticipated Game 4 of the ALCS on Fox. Coming in third place, ahead of “Jay Leno’s Corporate Shilling Funtime for Retards,” was a little cable program I like to call THE MOTHERF-CKIN SONS.
Who was the new entertainment program ratings, er, prince on Tuesday — aside from usual time period winner CBS and a heavily watched baseball game? It wasn’t ABC’s “The Forgotten.” And it wasn’t NBC’s “Jay Leno Show.”
It was lil’ ‘ol cable network FX’s drama series “Sons of Anarchy,” which beat Leno [Tuesday] night and struck a blow for scripted programming freedom from beyond the broadcast veil.
The show drew 3.7 million viewers and a 2.05 rating, topping Leno (1.8) for the first time and “Forgotten” (1.9) for the second time. [The Live Feed]
YEAH! God DAMN that feels good! The only way this could be better is if Henry Rollins actually beat Leno to death with a wooden table leg. If I were an X-Man that’s what I’d want my powers to be: the ability to make Photoshops come true. My life would be a non-stop party of watching Battlefield Earth with the San Diego Chicken, a velociraptor, and the ED-209.
I was kind of bummed that NBC canceled “Southland.” The show wasn’t groundbreaking, but it was a perfectly good cop drama that didn’t have any frills or pull any punches. As one commenter pointed out, it seemed like a worthy successor to “Hill Street Blues.”
Now that the show is looking for a home elsewhere — most likely TNT — details are coming out about the already-produced first six episodes of the second season, and it turns out NBC didn’t have room for the show because it was too awesome dark.
[T]he first episode of the second season was apparently going to open with a scene in which a convict defecates, or is stabbed and bleeds slowly to death – or both.
While this might have been a great way to warm up an audience at 10 o’clock for those Gas Pipe Explosion Slays 6 stories with which local TV stations like to lead off their 11 p.m. newcasts, it would have been a bit a mood killer for what was to have been “Southland’s” new lead-out program on Friday nights — Jay Leno’s comedy talk show.
Well well well. Yet another thing that just so happens to be Jay Leno’s fault. As if undercutting Conan O’Brien and burning down that orphanage weren’t enough, Leno also has to kill off promising shows. What? Evidence? I need evidence to accuse someone of burning down orphanages now? Sheesh. The Internet was so much cooler before lawyers discovered it.
Chris Rock on “The Jay Leno Show”:
People are defending Roman Polanski because he made some good movies. Are you kidding me? He made good movies 30 years ago! Even Johnnie Cochran don’t have the nerve to go, “Well, did you see O.J. play against New England?”
Unfortunately, Leno steers the conversation to Michael Vick instead of pressing to Rock to keep killing it with Polanski, but Rock makes it work. From now on when I see a German shepherd I’m gonna think “snitch-ass dog.”
