“Survivor” host Jeff Probst will host a daytime talk show starting in fall 2012 for some reason, according to several news outlets who nimbly worked quotes from the press release into their “breaking news!” stories.

“I’m fascinated with human nature and thrilled that this show will allow me the opportunity to connect with real people and explore their stories on a personal level,” Probst said in a statement. “As I continue with Survivor, I am excited to extend my relationship with CBS with this new adventure in the world of daytime.” [...]

With Survivor now filming its 23rd and 24th seasons in Samoa, many have wondered how long that show will continue. Since the program now films both of its installments during the summer, Probst could pull double duty and continue to host the reality franchise into fall 2012 and beyond while also doing his new talk show. Or, the still untitled new venture could end up being his transition off the island. [EW]

For what it’s worth, Probst has filled in for both Regis Philbin and Larry King, but that’s not exactly a real testament to skill. A golden retriever in glasses could take Regis’s place and have more sensible banter with Kelly. Call me when Probst fills in for someone who isn’t going to die this summer.

The face of Spike TV, before reruns of CSI

Much like the claim that “Saturday Night Live” and “The Simpsons” aren’t as good as they used to be, complaining about MTV’s transition from round-the-clock music videos to “Jersey Shore” has gone from legitimate gripe to tired cliché. Yes, it kind of sucks, but networks have to evolve, and sometimes — often, actually — that can be a good thing (it can also be terrible, but usually, good!) Below are seven examples of major American channels that began as one idea before eventually changing into something completely different.

Don’t worry, it involves communists and boobs.

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The Emmys will be televised soon, and even though no one will watch them, “Survivor” host Jeff Probst is upset about the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences’ decision to not include the category of “outstanding reality show host” in NBC’s telecast (it’s been relegated to the Creative Arts Emmys event).

“It’s disappointing news,” Probst said. “Collectively, this category represents several of the highest-rated and most popular shows on all of television.” [...]

The grumbling over the Emmy snub has prompted rumblings that some big faces from the reality biz may boycott the Aug. 29 Primetime Emmys or the Aug. 21 Creative Arts Emmys. The nominated hosts this year include Probst; Heidi Klum of “Project Runway”; Ryan Seacrest of “American Idol”; Phil Keoghan of “Amazing Race”; and Tom Bergeron of “Dancing With the Stars.” [THR]

Note to reality show hosts: you are f*cking USELESS. If cardboard cutouts could talk, you’d all be out of a job, and the only reason you have THAT is because you’re not interesting enough to piss anyone off. To call you “vanilla” is too much of a compliment; you are flavorless television gruel. Die of something boring.

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Today in news I didn’t expect, “Survivor” host Jeff Probst served as the officiant at the wedding of “The Office” star Jenna Fischer and writer Lee Kirk (played in the banner image by John Krasinski). Here are the details from People:

Probst, a longtime pal of Fischer’s and an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church since the 1990s, officiated at the intimate Malibu wedding, sources confirm to PEOPLE. Though on location in Nicaragua for Survivor’s 21st season, Probst , 47,managed to return to Southern California for 24 hours to conduct the ceremony.

Fischer and Kirk are not the first to be married by Probst, who over the years has helped several friends tie the knot. He also conducted his parents’ 35th anniversary vow renewal.

Wow, the Universal Life Church? That sounds impressive. He must have gone through the church’s rigorous free online ordination. Seriously, he had to double-check his email address, people. It’s easier said than done.

“Survivor” host Jeff Probst (pictured) and king of all reality producers Mark Burnett are working to put together a show called “Live for the Moment” that would focus on terminally ill people.  Although CBS passed on it for its fall 2009 lineup, that’s only because Probst will be out of the country shooting the 800 millionth season of “Survivor.”  Page Six says:

Each week, “Live for the Moment”… will send a different person with a terminal disease diagnosis on an uplifting adventure related to an unfulfilled wish, like and exotic trip or hoped-for reunion.

Having shot the pilot episode earlier this year, starring a man with Lou Gehrig‘s Disease, Probst says, “It’s the best thing I’ve ever been a part of. It’s so inspirational and so positive, I really believe its time for the show.”

Ummmmm… I guess that there’s a possibility that this could be uplifting.  Giving people their dying wish is a pretty nice thing to do.  But you’ll pardon me and my queasy morality for not being comfortable with the idea of exploiting dying people for ratings.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have cancer jokes to tell.