A much quieter way to promote your product.

Have you ever thought, “Gee, is this Luvs commercial with the three babies on stage competing to see who can take the largest dump much louder than the episode of “Swamp Loggers” I’m watching, or am I just crazy? It sounds as if Tag Team is literally whoomping in my living room!” Well, no, hypothetical sir/madam, you’re not crazy; ads have been played at a higher volume than the program they’re airing during for years. Companies figure the way to compensate for people going to the kitchen during commercial breaks is to have a volume spike, SO WE CAN HEAR ABOUT APPLEBEE’S UNLIMITED RIBLETS SPECIAL from the other room.

But no longer. According to the Los Angeles Times:

Responding to years of complaints that the volume on commercials was much louder than that of the programming that the ads accompany, the FCC on Tuesday passed the Commercial Advertisement Loudness Mitigation Act to make sure that the sound level is the same for commercials and news and entertainment programming. (LA Times)

*Insert generic comment about the U.S. government actually doing something useful.* The act doesn’t go into effect until December 2012 — because stations need to “obtain and activate the technology that will allow them to live within the rules,” which sounds needlessly complicated — so you still have a full year of the torture that is Jennifer Lopez’s extra loud Fiat commercial to look forward to.

“American Idol” judges Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez — pictured here in photos from the previous century — will both perform on the show this season, according to “Idol” producer Nigel Lythgoe. Meanwhile, Randy Jackson will continue to sit on his fat ass, dawg.

Lythgoe says Tyler’s performance will feature his band, Aerosmith. Lythgoe was asked Sunday by xfinitytv.com about Tyler and Lopez performing on this season’s “Idol” finale.

“It will probably be before that, actually,” he said at LA auditions for “So You Think You Can Dance.”

Tyler’s Aerosmith bandmate, Joe Perry, was initially critical of Tyler joining “Idol” this season, but they’ve reportedly buried the hatchet. [NY Post]

Reached for comment, Tyler said, “EEYAY-YUH! YAY-YUH! AwokkawoggawoohoooEEEyoohoooooooo… YA!”

On a tangential note, remember the video for “Cryin’”? Of course you do, because you used to masturbate to Alicia Silverstone. Well, the guy who steals her bag in the video (and subsequently gets a boot to the chest) is none other than Josh Holloway, AKA Sawyer from “Lost.” See for yourself:

Read the rest of this entry »

These two news stories aren’t particularly related, but they both mention painfully derivative romantic comedies. And since I don’t want to dedicate an entire post to either one, I’m lumping them together. First up, a “Hitch” TV show:

Will Smith and James Lassiter’s Overbrook Entertainment and The Proposal [ugh - Ed.]writer Pete Chiarelli are behind a series adaptation of the hit 2005 romantic comedy Hitch, which has several networks bidding on it.

Of course there’s a bidding war. Of course there is. Also, Jennifer Lopez is producing a “dramatic comedy” for ABC:

Untitled show (known in some circles as “Nannyland”) centers on three branches of an extended Los Angeles family — as told through the eyes of their three Latina nannies. (Call it “Modern Family” meets Lopez’s “Maid in Manhattan.”)

Actually, I think I’ll call it “a piece of crap.” Thanks, but if I wanted to get the perspective of immigrant workers, I’d go pick oranges for 12 hours.

For months, it’s been an accepted fact that the judges for the new and newly irrelevant “American Idol” would be Randy Jackson, Jennifer Lopez, and Steven Tyler. So naturally my heart was pounding when “Idol” live-streamed the introduction of its new judges, and you’ll be shocked at the who they revealed: Randy Jackson, Jennifer Lopez, and Steven Tyler. My heart almost exploded from excitement. Of course, “Idol” couldn’t get the picture to work for several minutes, and when the video feed finally started working, there was no sound whatsoever. Clearly this is a show poised to dominate the media landscape.

Anyway, I didn’t get a screencap of J-Lo’s outfit, but it was terrible. Some kind of light-blue body suit that a 40-year-old woman shouldn’t be wearing. Good thing she’ll be sitting next to Steven Tyler. Nah-nah, nah-nah, dude looks like an ugly old lady.

JENNIFER LOPEZ IS OFFICIALLY AN ‘IDOL’ JUDGE — Her deal is only for one year, which is smart because that’s precisely how many season “American Idol” has until it gets canceled. [TMZ]

TBS CANCELS ‘MY BOYS’ – I tried to watch this show several different times, and every time I was astounded by how poorly written and two-dimensional the male characters were. It must be how women feel about every other show on television. [Ausiello]

THE BEST THING I’VE SEEN ALL DAY — “Jersey Shore” cats. Simple idea, brilliant execution. [BuzzFeed]

NEXT ‘REAL WORLD’ SEASON TO FEATURE YOUNG PEOPLE PARTYING — Season 25 will return to The Palms in Las Vegas. Should be groundbreaking. [Real World News Blog]