On the set of Amanda Seyfried's 'Black Hole Sun' remake

In his post-Oscars show, Jimmy Kimmel aired an informercial spoof for “humpilates,” which was painfully unfunny but notable because it featured actresses like Scarlett Johansson, Minka Kelly, Emily Blunt, and Jessicas Biel and Alba. For last night’s show, Kimmel rolled out a sequel for the diet to go with humpilates (video below). It’s somehow even less funny than the humpilates sketch, yet once again I watched the entire thing because it’s a non-stop stream of attractive actresses and models: January Jones, Rebecca Romijn, Anna Faris, Amanda Seyfried, Kerry Washington, Zoe Saldana, Kristen Bell, Heidi Klum, Marisa Miller, Erin Andrews, plus several of the women from the first sketch. Scarlett and Jessica Biel both have lines that almost made me chuckle, but not even an appearance from the great Neil Patrick Harris can salvage a real laugh from this. Woof.

I get it, Jimmy: you know more beautiful actresses I do. But if you’re going to parade them around on your show, can you at least do me the favor of getting out of the picture?

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I don’t know who, exactly, would sit through three-plus hours of the Oscars, then watch the local news, THEN stay tuned for a late-night show on a Sunday night, but anyone who did was treated to a star-studded episode of “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” Specifically, Kimmel did a spoof of a workout infomercial called “humpilates” (like pilates, but with humping hahaha) that featured Scarlett Johansson, Minka Kelly, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Kelly Ripa, Emily Blunt, Eva Longoria, Sofia Vergara, and Lindsay Lohan. It’s kind of like last year’s “Handsome Men’s Club” sketch, minus the laughs.

Anyway, the whole 7-minute video is below, and I watched it all because I enjoy staring at women in exercise clothes. Aside from that, there are a couple highlights: ScarJo is particularly funny, Jessica Biel’s frantic humping is good for a laugh, and of course I mentioned the women in spandex. Other than that, it’s pretty much a lousy “SNL” sketch with famous beautiful actresses and Kelly Ripa.

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When people find out I’m a TV blogger, they’ll often ask, “Isn’t ‘Access Hollywood’ the best show on television?”  And I say yes.  Yes it is.

Okay, maybe none of that is true, but still, the “Ax-wood” producer who greenlit the story about Jessica Biel learning the art of strip tease definitely deserves a promotion.  Yes, stripping IS an art, and I’m not just saying that to agree with Jessica Biel.  Although since she and I have so much in common, we should probably just go ahead and do it.  Relieve that tension between us.

[Videogum]