I don’t give a rat’s ass about this story, but it’s been all over the news cycle and I can’t ignore it any more. So here goes.

• On Monday, Ol’ Crazy Eyes Michele Bachmann was a guest on “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.”
• For her entrance, the Roots played a Fishbone song called “Lyin’ Ass Bitch.” (video)
• Fallon apologized on Twitter, but has still been criticized for the song, which was The Roots played without the knowledge of “Late Night” staff.
• Roots drummer ?uestlove, who tipped off viewers to the song’s title with hints on Twitter, said that the song was intended to be tongue-in-cheek.
• Bachmann hasn’t gotten an official apology from NBC, so of course she took the opportunity to be politically divisive: “If that song had been played for Michelle Obama, I have no doubt that NBC would have apologized to her.”

If there’s a lesson here, it’s that politicians are the absolute worst late-night guests. Why bother getting embroiled in a mess like this when there are so many dogs that can do entertaining tricks? Hell, the dogs don’t even have to do tricks. I’d rather watch Jimmy Fallon pet a golden retriever for five minutes than watch him try to be interested in what Bachmann’s saying. This story blows goats.

When Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake teamed up with the Roots to perform “The History of Rap” last September, it was a blast — a fun and funny walk through some of rap’s most influential songs. Then they did a second volume this summer, and it was noticeably watered down. Four months have gone by since then, and now we’ve got a third edition (video below).

The performance is fine — it’s good, really — but it feels predictable. “Oh, here’s the part where they finish the medley in the audience.” And while I enjoyed Timberlake razzing Fallon about not having to use his AK, I was equally embarrassed to see them include a slice of “Jump Around,” the whitest rap hit of all time. C’mon guys, leave that one to the DJs working high school dances and boring people’s weddings.

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Warming Glow favorite Alison Brie was on “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” Friday night to promote “Community,” and, you guys, she was like the most adorable thing ever. During her interview, she told Jimmy a story about encountering a coyote on the road during a jog and channeling her inner gorilla to scare it off, acting out the relevant action sequences. It was funny and charming, which is a hard combination to pull off in the traditional five-minute interview segments they do on late-night shows. (No really, Gwyneth Paltrow, tell us more about your drapes. It’s FASCINATIzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.)

The interview is after the jump, and ends with Jimmy saying, “You were super fun and I want to hang out with you more,” echoing the sentiments of the Uproxx community and creeps everywhere. Two groups that are FAR FROM exclusive.

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Conan O’Brien made a surprise appearance on “Late Night,” the show he hosted for 16 years, to retrieve Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and engage in some witty banter with ?uestlove (see below). I happened on Wednesday night’s show, but I’m only getting to it now because the Uproxx homepage shamed me with its coverage yesterday.

Anyway, I don’t have the time to watch late-night shows these days — I’m forever catching up on DVR’d shows when they air — so it’s good to see Conan in New York where he belongs. You hear that, L.A.? He’s OURS! Give him back!

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Last summer, in the wake of the BP oil spill (LOL remember that youse guys?!), Jimmy Fallon debuted his protest song about tar balls floating ashore, titled “Balls in Your Mouth.” The recent hurricane/flooding issues up and down the East Coast gave him the opportunity to dust it off and play it again last night, this time accompanied by Pearl Jam lead singer Eddie Vedder.

Production note: In case you ever wondered what it’s like to fill-in here, I’ll give you a little insight. I had like 4-5 open tabs of TV newsy biz stories that I was trying to choose between for a post (what would draw the most interest, what I could provide the funniest and/or most original take on, etc.) Then I saw a headline that said “Eddie Vedder Sings ‘Balls in Your Mouth,’” and I giggled for like 30-40 seconds, closed all those other dumb tabs and posted it. The end.