The other night, Charlie Sheen put an exclamation point on his surprise appearance on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” by planting a big kiss on Kimmel’s lips. Given Sheen’s history of both womanizing and woman tenderizing, it was hard for me to imagine any gay overtones from that kiss, but there were some other people who didn’t enjoy that man-on-man action thrust in their face. For example, a 47-year-old Georgia man named David O’Hara (inset) assaulted his girlfriend and pointed a gun at her because he objected to them thar homos kissin’.

“We were getting ready to get in bed and going through the TV stations. I saw that and said, ‘Oh look at that man, how he’s kissing that man. He’s kissing that man like he’s kissing a woman.’ And he just snapped. He said, ‘I don’t want to see that (expletive). I’m not a (expletive) gay man. It was shocking to me,” she said.

The fighting continued to escalate. A group of friends heard the screams and went to check on the couple. That’s when Quitman County Sheriff Steve Newton says O’Hara got a gun, putting it to the back of his girlfriend’s head and pointing it at 14-year-old Marcus Johnson.

“He swung it around in my face and pointed it at the back of her head and threatened to kill all of us,” Johnson said.

O’Hara took off running and was later tackled and arrested on the causeway leading from Georgia into Alabama. Deputies say he jumped the concrete median and tried to hide his gun in the grass. [WMBF]

“I’m not gay! Stop showing me men kissing! What do you think I am, gay? I’ll prove to you how straight I am by going to prison! GRRRRR, COMMUNAL SHOWERS!”

Charlie Sheen interrupted Mark Cuban’s appearance on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” last night, and the ol’ F-18 surprised me by not being quite as insane as during his epic run of WINNING that got him fired from “Two and a Half Men.” I mean, sure, he’s still Charlie Sheen, Hooker Aficionado and Banger of 7-Gram Rocks, but in this appearance he was clear and coherent — more charmingly unhinged than dangerously unhinged; more Robin Williams than Jim Jones.

You can see for yourself in the video below, though you should be warned that it’s not much more than Sheen accepting applause and handing out T-shirts with his now-famous quotes. I have to admit, the kitten with tiger’s blood is kinda cute, and it makes me think that this whole meltdown was just an elaborate ploy to sell T-shirts. Because that’s much more lucrative than $2 million an episode for acting in a sitcom.

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On the set of Amanda Seyfried's 'Black Hole Sun' remake

In his post-Oscars show, Jimmy Kimmel aired an informercial spoof for “humpilates,” which was painfully unfunny but notable because it featured actresses like Scarlett Johansson, Minka Kelly, Emily Blunt, and Jessicas Biel and Alba. For last night’s show, Kimmel rolled out a sequel for the diet to go with humpilates (video below). It’s somehow even less funny than the humpilates sketch, yet once again I watched the entire thing because it’s a non-stop stream of attractive actresses and models: January Jones, Rebecca Romijn, Anna Faris, Amanda Seyfried, Kerry Washington, Zoe Saldana, Kristen Bell, Heidi Klum, Marisa Miller, Erin Andrews, plus several of the women from the first sketch. Scarlett and Jessica Biel both have lines that almost made me chuckle, but not even an appearance from the great Neil Patrick Harris can salvage a real laugh from this. Woof.

I get it, Jimmy: you know more beautiful actresses I do. But if you’re going to parade them around on your show, can you at least do me the favor of getting out of the picture?

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Ryan Gosling was a guest on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” last night, and Kimmel enticed Baby Goose to play the ukulele and sing “You Always Hurt the Ones You Love” (video below, music starts at 1:50). And of course Baby Goose plays the ukulele. It’s the gentlest of string instruments.

“Hey girl, I’d never hurt the ones I love, it’s just a song I sang to make you feel better.”

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Jimmy Kimmel hosted a special episode of “Jimmy Kimmel Live” that featured the cast of the new Twilight movie (see pictures here), and the highlight had to be the Twilight spoof acted out by the cast of “Jersey Shore” (video below).

The sad thing is that a “Jersey Shore” version of Twilight is far more compelling to me than the actual Twilight series. I actually kind of want to know how the Guido vampires will reconcile the issue of tanning. Also, surprisingly enough, Snooki, the Situation, Vinny, and DJ Pauly D are all pretty good actors. Snooki especially shows way more range here as Bella than Kristen Stewart and her heartburn face can ever manage.

My God, am I actually saying NICE things about the cast of “Jersey Shore”? I guess they just come across as awesome people when you compare them to Twilight fans.

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