Model Joanna Krupa has made “Dancing with the Stars” much easier on the eyes this season, and easier on the eyes gets easiest in December’s issue of Playboy, for which she took off her clothes and got photographed. You may feast your eyes on her body parts here, ya big perv.

Me, I’ll be picking up the issue to read the Nabokov exclusive. Oh man, AND an R. Crumb comic? I hope they don’t mess up that issue with too many breasts! I hate it when that happens.

It’s not a party ’til Birthday Dog shows up

Dancing with the Stars (ABC) — Word just got out that Polish-born model Joanna Krupa took off all of her clothes and got photographed for a cover spread in December’s Playboy, her second shoot for the magazine. Beats the hell out of Marge Simpson — or anyone who’s been touched by Brett Ratner.

Gossip Girl (CW) — I guess Hilary Duff is still guest-starring? Whatever.

Real Chance of Love (MTV) — Season finale. Frankly, I’d rather watch Animals Are Awesome on loop for an hour. The show will never ever come close to topping that.

Jon and Kate Plus 8 (TLC) — Kate fields viewers’ questions in this one-hour special. “Yeah, hi, Kate? What’s it like to be the biggest bitch on the planet?”

Monday Night Football (ESPN) — Eagles at Redskins. As usual, I’ll be hanging out at the live-blog on KSK. Come for the dick jokes, stay for the screen caps of cheerleaders.

Cake Boss (TLC) — Season premiere. I actually met some of the people who work on this show when they came in to 826NYC one day. They were very nice, and I wish them luck. But that doesn’t mean I’ll ever watch a show about people making f-cking cakes.

ABC has released the lineup of competitors for this fall’s “Dancing with the Stars,” and it’s the most eclectic collection of celebrities to date, including former House majority leader Tom DeLay, supermodel Kathy Ireland, singer Macy Gray, and four professional athletes (athletes traditionally do well on the show): Olympic swimmer Natalie Coughlin, Hall of Fame wide receiver Michael Irvin, former MMA champion Chuck Liddell, and snowboarder Louie Vito.  The full list is available here.

As always, I plan to cheer for the attractive women without actually watching the show.  This year, that will include model Joanna Krupa and — to lesser extents — Ireland and Coughlin.  Kathy Ireland’s obviously past her prime, but I like that she’s outspoken about being pro-life.  I’m not pro-life myself, but I like girls that are.  They tend to view condoms as a sin.