Update: Now with 100% more JAZZ HANDS!!!!! Ha-cha-cha-chaaaaa!  More pictures here.

Katie Holmes was on last night’s episode of “So You Think You Can Dance” to sing and dance a tribute to Judy Garland (video below). Don’t be scared by the length of the clip: the first two minutes are Katie talking about some charity that she’s dancing for — “it’s for the children, blah blah blah” — then she does the little old-timey number for two and a half minutes, then the rest of it is voting results.  I think.  I kinda skipped through a lot of it.

It’s not particularly bad, just boring.  I mean, I guess Katie does okay, but the big musical number in fancy clothes with dancing around light poles as a tribute to an actress who died forty years ago just doesn’t resonate with this blogger at a laptop computer in the 21st century.  Don’t get me wrong, there were a lot of things that I like about the 1940s and ’50s — men in fedoras, openly drinking at work, consequence-free sexual harassment, casual racism, the Holocaust — but this kind of musical number just isn’t one of them.

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Tom Kapinos, the writer and executive producer for “Californication” who cut his teeth as a show runner on “Dawson’s Creek” a decade ago, opened up about the horrible experience of working on the hit that propelled Joshua Jackson, Katie Holmes, and Michelle Williams to stardom and James Van Der Beek to one role in a movie by MTV Films.

“The experience was miserable,” he continued about Dawson’s. “But it was a four-year boot camp. It was like going to TV grad school and learning how to run a television show. Anybody on that show who could make a decision was allowed to run it at some point. I inherited the very awkward college years, and I almost ran the show into the ground. But I learned everything that I needed to know about how to run a show.”

When the panel moderator asked, “What was it specifically that made it such a challenge?” Tom dropped this bomb: “It was the four monstrous actors at the core of it.”  The audience erupted in laughter as Tom continued, saying: “They were very young, and they got very famous, and they made life miserable for any writer or producer on the show.” [E Online]

I’ll tell you what the real monster is.  Van Der Beek’s forehead.  ZING.  Or should I go with Katie’s husband?  What’s more likely to devour an American city?  Tom Cruise or that glacial cranium?  I can’t decide.