Hugh Hefner announced over Twitter that “Dancing with the Stars” pro Karina Smirnoff — presently partnered with Ralph Macchio — would appear on the cover of May’s Playboy magazine, with a nude pictorial inside. Hooray! Professional dancer naked! Except now the rumor mill is saying that posing naked could get her fired. PopEater‘s Rob Shuter writes:

“If Karina posed naked, she can kiss her dancing days goodbye,” a ‘DWTS’ insider told me immediately after hearing of Hef’s announcement on Twitter. “I hope for Karina’s sake that this isn’t true.”

Yeah, I’m sure the publisher of Playboy is regularly misinformed about which women are naked in his magazine. “Wait, Karina’s not posing for Playboy? Oh. I guess I shouldn’t have announced it then.” I mean, he’s old, but he doesn’t have Alzheimer’s. Yet.

The immediate response of ABC, I’m told, is that having one of their dancers pose naked during an ongoing season could “soil” the wholesome show’s image.

“ABC publicity department control the image of this show with an iron fist. It’s a cash cow and they are not going to allow its reputation to be soiled by a dancer who wants to do Playboy,” an ABC source tells me.

That makes less than zero sense. Kendra Wilkinson was recruited to be on the show even though only famous because she was in Playboy several times as Hugh Hefner’s girlfriend. You know, this kind of drivel wouldn’t be published if the public was encouraged to attack gossip columnists with baseball bats.

Speaking of baseball, Karina’s engaged to Tigers pitcher Brad Penny, who’s being paid $3 million this year to throw a ball once every five days. I think she’s gonna land on her feet.

Below is the first clip of Kendra Wilkinson rehearsing for “Dancing with the Stars,” and I won’t oversell it: it’s SPECTACULAR. I’m not some huge fan of Kendra — she seems barely literate, and every time she opens her mouth I expect her to burp — but there’s no denying that years of screwing for money has turned her hips into something magical. There’s a stretch in this video from :33 to :37 that make me VERY interested in Kendra’s cha-cha. Mmmm, that’s good double entendre.

A note to the fat white middle-aged housewives who always mess up the “DWTS” voting: I swear to God, if you jealous shrikes vote off Kendra for being hot like you do all the other hot chicks, I will murder your tubby dim-witted children. Or if I don’t murder them, then I’ll just vote against any medical bill that gives diabetes care to young people. So what’s it gonna be: a couple more weeks of Kendra dancing, or little Madison’s feet?

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Because nothing can exist without corporate synergy, ABC unveiled the new cast of “Dancing with the Stars” during last night’s episode of “The Bachelor.” People who stuck around to see Brad politely jettison Ashley also got the first look at the next group of semi-stars that we’ll learn to love and hate depending on how well they foxtrot and hit on Cheryl Burke.

• Ralph Macchio, 49, the baby-faced star of three Karate Kid movies and My Cousin Vinny
• Kirstie Alley, 60, starred in Fat Actress, Veronica’s Closet, and, of course, Cheers
• Petra Nemcova, 31, a Czech model who’s been linked to James Blunt and Sean Penn [and also here fiancé Simon Atlee, who died in the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami]
• Wendy Williams, 46, a frank talk-show host [How YOU doin'?]
• Sugar Ray Leonard, 54, the Olympic gold-medal-winning boxer who, as a pro, famously claimed world titles in five weight divisions
• Psycho Mike, a.k.a. Michael Catherwood, 31, a popular deejay for KROQ in Los Angeles
• Chelsea Kane, 22, best known for playing Stella on Disney Channel’s Jonas L.A.
• Romeo, 21, once known as Lil Romeo, is a rapper, actor, and son of past DWTS participant Master P
• Kendra Wilkinson, 25, the former star of E!’s The Girls Next Door and the current star of her own eponymous reality show
• Chris Jericho, 40, a pro wrestler who won 23 championships in the WWE
• Hines Ward, 34, an NFL Pro Bowler from the Pittsburgh Steelers and the third wide receiver to appear on DWTS [Inside TV]

A couple thoughts: (1) I have no idea who Chelsea Kane is; that heartens me. (2) Bravo for the selection of Kendra. She’s at her most charming when she has a rockin’ ass. (3) FUN FACT: I once met Petra’s sister Olga. I got her number, called her, and never heard back. Then I found five dollars. Good story, Matt!

There’s been more TV stuff than I can cover over the last two days, so let’s play a little catch-up, starting with the live TV interview with the drunk lady who admitted to mixing up the brake pedal and the… the.. what’s it called? GAS! The gas pedal. Well played, Florida. We eagerly await Ohio’s response.

Two beavers are better than one. Here’s the music video for “Two Beavers” performed by Robin Sparkles (Cobie Smulders) and Jessica Glitter (Nicole Scherzinger) during last night’s “How I Met Your Mother.” [NY Mag]

The new Teen Wolf is a lacrosse douche. The trailer for MTV’s “Teen Wolf.” Basically, it looks like someone held up a DVD of Teen Wolf and said, “I want this to look like ‘Vampire Diaries’.” [The Sun]

E! is BARELY blurring tits these days. This footage of window washers just “happening” upon a topless Kendra is one of the fakest reality scenes I’ve seen in a long time. On the plus side, her breasts are barely pixelated. [Guyism]

Easy Christmas gift. Sterling’s Gold — the faux memoirs of Roger Sterling (John Slattery) on “Mad Men” — is now  for sale. Full of witticisms like, “When God closes a door, He opens a dress.” I wish. [Brain Pickings]

After releasing a sex-tape with Sloth from The Goonies, the next logical step in the fame-whore bible for Kendra Wilkinson, star of E!’s uh, “Kendra,” was to put out a memoir.  Titled “Sliding Into Home,” the just released book chronicles her teenage battles with meth-addiction and trying to get Hugh Hefner’s penis erect.  Or in Kendra’s ghost-writer’s words:

Staring into his eyes, I didn’t see a man four times my age with ten times more girlfriends than most. Even though I hardly knew him yet, I saw a sweet man who made me feel really good about myself — a true gentleman. It was weird but in my heart, I felt like he was someone I could possibly trust.

Because if you can’t trust an 84-year-old pornographer, who can you trust, right?  The video of Kendra talking to Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb (which sounds delicious, BTW) on “The Today Show” is pretty unbearable, but you can view it here if you’re masochist.

However, for those of you who don’t let her fog-horn-like personality and retard-laugh distract you from her hotness,  I’ve embedded an old video of her demonstrating her signature stripper pole after the jump.

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