News out of CBS is that Craig Ferguson’s “Late Late Show” is nearing a deal that would keep him on the show at least through 2014. As part of the deal, Ferguson’s show would also move to a bigger set. I know this is great news for a lot of folks, because the people who do prefer Ferguson over the other late night hosts prefer him hard, as in, they get really bent out of shape if anyone suggests that Ferguson is anything less than the best late night host on the networks. I think he’s great: Charming, affable, and creative, and like Fallon, he managed to stay above the fray during the late night wars.

With Ferguson closing in on the deal, and Letterman also in negotiations to re-up for a couple more years, however, there is still an open question about who might replace Dave in 2014 or 2016 or 2018. I don’t know that Ferguson can attract a substantially larger audience, and I know that — before “The Daily Show” came along — Jon Stewart had a holding contract to replace Dave. There is also Conan, stranded over on TBS, who could jump back to the networks. But as much as I like all three of those guys, an eventual replacement will probably need to reinvent late night television to stay relevant. The audiences for both Jay and Dave skew older, and as they die off, there will be a need to incorporate a lot more new media in order to thrive. I don’t know if Ferguson could pull it off, but I do know that Ferguson is responsible for the best cold open in talk-show history.

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This is the cold open to last night’s “Late Late Show,” in which Craig Ferguson announces via hand puppet that he’ll be the host of Discovery Channel’s Shark Week this year. I always like hearing big news from hand puppets; it’s how I learned I wasn’t a virgin any more. Thanks, Uncle Jasper!

(image via)

Last night, Craig Ferguson delivered another “Late Late Show” cold opener full of excellence when he addressed all the different white men who are changing jobs in late night television.  As you can see in this clip, he talks about the new Conan vs. Letterman, the old Conan vs. Ferguson, and his new battle against Jimmy Fallon.  (Fallon, meanwhile, was making his case by slow-jammin’ the news).

It’s kind of cool to see a  late-night host actually addressing the elephant in the room, and I have to admit, I like the idea of a naked wrestling match.  Because I like gay things, you see.  (Except gay sex — that’s gay!)

A good way to lose your finger

Jimmy Fallon will make his semi-anticipated debut on NBC’s “Late Night” this Monday (March 2nd) with guest Robert DeNiro and house band The Roots, but CBS has a devious plan to steal hype and viewers from the new program.  Step 1: pair Paris Hilton with Craig Ferguson.

CBS has enlisted Mr. Ferguson and Ms. Hilton to serve as hosts for its Monday night lineup on March 2, the network confirmed… Mr. Ferguson and Ms. Hilton will appear during interstitial spots throughout CBS’s Monday lineup next week, trading comic riffs and hyping upcoming shows. The two will appear to be watching TV together during the segments, which will begin just before “The Big Bang Theory” and go through “CSI: Miami.”

In addition to appearing on CBS together during prime time, Ms. Hilton and Mr. Ferguson will team up later in the evening when Ms. Hilton is a guest on Mr. Ferguson’s “Late Late Show.”

I don’t know why CBS even thinks it’s competing with other networks.  All the other networks have ceded the “Don’t believe in evolution” demographic to CBS.  It’s really mastered the art of creating bland shit that people with no taste love.  Hey, Creating Bland Shit!  That works even better than the Crimes Being Solved network.