There are a few news items and updates floating around right now that don’t really require a full post, so I’m going to knock them out here real quick-like. After that, it’s back to your steady diet of funny game show answers and boobs.

Emily Maynard is the new Bachelorette – Two things about this story: 1) They’re making a big deal about her having a 6-year-old kid, making her the first single mom Bachelorette. Now, I have a strict “don’t tell people how to raise their kids unless they put them on TLC” policy, but I will say this: I really wouldn’t have wanted to watch my mom play kissyface on TV with like a million dudes when I was six. Nope. Not at all. 2) When playing up her tough love life, they’ve been equating her fiancé (and child’s father) dying in a plane crash with the fact that she broke up with the one Bachelor dude after the show. Stop that. [ABC]

Tracy Morgan had a weird time at Sundance – The “30 Rock” star passed out, was rushed to the hospital, and left Utah with an oxygen tank due to an adverse reaction to the altitude. Supposedly. The important thing about this story is that “Oxygen Tanks” would be a great headline if Oprah’s channel ever goes bankrupt. Dibs. [TMZ]

Paula Deen’s publicist quit over Deen hawking diabetes medicine – “Although we had a great deal of fun along the way, I could not agree with the new business strategy going forward. Nonetheless, I wish them continued success.” I ran this through my publicist translator, and it spit out “Paula Deen is such a terrible and offensive hypocrite that I’m quitting even though she makes me a sh-tload of money.” I don’t often praise publicists, but kudos to you, ma’am. [NY Post]

Jay Leno’s right to tell lazy, offensive jokes is protected by the First Amendment – So I guess Jay Leno showed a picture of the Golden Temple of Amritsar in India and said it was Mitt Romney’s summer home. HAHA GOOD ONE, JAY! It justifiably made a group of Indian Sikhs kind of upset, but the U.S. State Department came out and said it was protected First Amendment speech, which is true. Here ends the saga of Latenight McFartypants and the Bill of Rights. [BBC]

Thank you for bearing with me. Here is a picture of a cupcake with a peanut butter cup and an Oreo stuffed in it.

Read the rest of this entry »

I feel like every time I fill in, I post some sort of “Community” mash-up or song thingy. I get that some of you may not have the love for the show that Matt and I do. That’s fine. But you will NOT disrespect DJ Steve Porter on my watch. Do you hear me? NEVER.

WG Behind the Scenes: When I emailed this story to Matt yesterday, the entire body read “HOLY SH-T. MATT. THIS LINK,” and he responded, “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.” TNT Orders Pilot About Crime-Solving Dog [Warming Glow]

What? It’s all about her? Doesn’t sound like the Tyra I know. Tyra Banks’ iTunes playlist must be seen to be believed. [Best Week Ever]

Pretty cool… but not Triceratops Dog cool. The Hilarious Photoshops of True American Dog. [UPROXX]

Yes, please. Norm MacDonald wants to write Oscar jokes for Eddie Murphy. I support this kind of thinking. [Saturday-Night-Live]

The Weirdest Thing I’ve Ever Done. Here’s a post I did for With Leather about what I think a bunch of baseball players probably smell like. Nyjer Morgan’s got what plants crave! [With Leather]

I love this bastard. Tumbl on, you crazy douche. Jean-Ralphio from Parks & Recreation is my spirit animal. [EffYeahJeanRalphio]

More links after the jump, including more me and the greatest rap song ever produced.

Read the rest of this entry »

(via @boomtisca)

Brian Bosworth at his finest. An in-depth scene breakdown of Stone Cold by Danger Guerrero. [FilmDrunk]

‘Sons of Anarchy’ fan art. Pretty good, but if I were artistically capable, I’d make Polly Zobelle a WWII pinup. [Uproxx]

Espadrilles are the new golf spikes. Olivia Munn looked fantastic while pretending to play golf in Puerto Rico. Then she put on a bikini. Hooray! [With Leather]

Something for the ladies. David Beckham at the beach. Dammit, where’s Victoria? [With Leather]

Celebrities without eyebrows. AKA “how to ruin attractive people.” [Uproxx]

17 Gorgeous Black Cat Cosplay Photos. Apparently Black Cat is Spider-Man’s Catwoman? Whatever, the point is there’s cleavage. (P.S. Let’s be a little more careful about using the word “gorgeous.”) [Gamma Squad]

The stages of Mac fandom. Written by FilmDrunk video editor Oliver Noble. Nice of Vince to let him out of the basement. [MentalFloss]

The 9 Most Depressing Movies of the Last 9 Years. I disagree about Winter’s Bone. That movie was too metal to be depressing. [ScreenJunkies]

Parents of the year! Three-year-old “Toddlers & Tiaras” star dressed as the hooker from Pretty Woman. Not even the red dress. The hooker-hooker costume. [OK!]

(via)

Read the rest of this entry »

This awesome non-apology from Andy Levy to Chris Brown Fox News’s “Red Eye” was everywhere two weeks ago, but it never got posted here ‘cuz Daddy was on vacation. Sorry about that. Let’s just keep it here for posterity.

TV, Murder, and Hurricanes, Oh My. Vince and the boys had me on the Frotcast this week. I haven’t listened to it, but I remember a LOT of jokes about their college friend who murdered his business partner. Good times. [FilmDrunk]

GOD’S AWAY ON BUSINESS. Spencer Hall’s meditation on the start of the college football season is the best thing I’ve read in ages. I’ve read it twice. [Every Day Should Be Saturday]

15 Haunting Film Cinemagraphs. “Cinemagraph” is a fancy word for a special kind of GIF. [UPROXX]

The Best of the 2011 U.S. Open. Hint: It’s all Brooklyn Decker. Well played, Burnsy. [With Leather]

The Justice League goes to the Wild West. Artist Ted Brandt makes the JLA one badass posse. [Gamma Squad]

18 Famous TV Roles Originally Played by Someone Else. Whoa, Louie Anderson was supposed to be Cousin Larry from “Perfect Strangers.” I did not know that. [mental floss]

Three Seasons of ‘Sons of Anarchy’ in Ten Minutes. Very efficient. [ScreenJunkies]

11 ‘Arrested Development’ Shout Outs To Its Actors’ Past Roles. [The Bluth Company]

What’s Really Going on at AMC? A deeper, more nuanced look at the money squabbles that tarnished the network of “Mad Men” and “Breaking Bad.” [Vulture]

Zooey Deschanel Is Hilariously Banal. Twenty-five of her Facebook posts, including “What are some of your favorite board games? I love them all.” [BuzzFeed]

(GIF via theclappingmonkey)

I can see it's dangerous for you, but if the government trusts me, maybe you could. Also, woof.

Hey, it’s DG. I’m running the show for one more day, then Matt’s back tomorrow. Since it’s my last day, I’m seriously considering just doing four posts about “Saved by the Bell,” one about how much I hated Oliver from season one of “The O.C.,” and a 70-page slideshow of R&B videos from the 90s. I’ll never be allowed to fill-in again, but it might be worth it.

The lesson I’ve learned from this is that I should recruit old people to work for my Ponzi sche-… I mean my, uh, not… Ponzi… scheme. Nice save, DG. Survey finds Betty White to be the most trusted person in advertising. [Deadline]

I’ve got $40 that says everyone was in cahoots. In the wake of the Situation/Abercrombie flap, “Jersey Shore’s” ratings increased 5%. [THR]

It’s all downhill from here. Just a reminder: the banner pic I MS Painted for the TV chef post on Friday is probably the best thing I’ll ever do around here. [Warming Glow]

Are those… wait a second… they are! KITTEN MITTONS! The “It’s Always Sunny” awkward family photo is delightful.

8.35 is an awful lot of percents. The SNL cast member appearance pie chart is an interesting thing some nerd made. [Buzzfeed]

For the person too dumb too find TNT on their television. A 104-disc complete set of “Law & Order.” [NY Post]

Not if you watch it while doing push-ups, dummies. Survey says TV is bad for your health. Also bad for your health? Being stuck in a locker overnight until the janitor comes in the next morning. So watch it, scientists. [USA Today]

After the jump, more links and a GIF that pretty much encapsulates my whole blogging existence.

Read the rest of this entry »