SITE NEWS: I gotta bounce early today to catch a flight. These other stories’ll have to get you through the remainder of the day.
Fe-lyin’ around, cat-chin’ some rays. Hey, it was either those puns or “look at these lazy pussies.” Anyway: the very best of cats chillin’. [Buzzfeed]
From Fox News to the Onion News Network. Suzanne Sena used the credibility gained as an anchor at Fox News to land a gig reading fake news. Video at the link. [Mediabistro]
Honest content warnings for HBO shows. The more ridiculous the show, the better the warnings. [College Humor]
Mother Nature’s Punch-Out. Animals fighting, boxing commentary, and the music to Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out. The pieces don’t exactly fit together perfectly, but I approve of the interspecies animal fighting. [Asylum]
HO. LEE. CRAP. If you asked me to come up with the most awesome video game ever, I’d start by saying, “Well, I’d like the opportunity to punch Nazi dinosaurs.” THY WILL BE DONE: a new mod for Half-Life 2 called Dino D-Day envisions a World War II in which Nazi Germany has dinosaurs on its side. [Topless Robot]
The newest addition to Uproxx is… GAMMA SQUAD, Uproxx’s new blog that covers all things geek-, nerd-, and sci-fi-related. It’s written in part by the fantastic RoboPanda, whose writing has often appeared here and over at FilmDrunk. If the Hitman Monkey post doesn’t make you laugh, you probably don’t belong here.
Female Viagra is on the way. Good news for those of you who aren’t blessed with my chiseled buns. [Asylum]
Glavin! An alternate pilot for the original “Star Trek” was discovered. With video! Note the absence of the iconic opening sequence. Or whatever, I don’t care about that nerdy stuff anyway. [Pajiba]
Undeserved tribute videos. I understand that it’s a free YouTube and everything, but there should be a law against Jim Belushi tribute videos. My God, is that set to Bobby Brown’s “Take Control”? [Urlesque]
Makin’ it work! According to Neil Patrick Harris’s Twitter feed (which I recommend), Tim Gunn on the set of “How I Met Your Mother” is the “best guest star EVER!” [@ActuallyNPH]
Six Awesome TV Characters Who Deserve Their Own Show. I agree; all of these characters are awesome, particularly Creed from “The Office” and Jane Lynch’s character in “Glee.” But part of what makes the characters so great is that we only get them in small doses. [Gunaxin]
Best. Tattoo. EVER. “I do say, old chap, I’m the deadliest creature in the sea. Champagne?” [Foggy Monocle via F Yeah Sharks]
The faces behind the voices of famous cartoons. Wait a second, Uncle Phil was Shredder?!?!? [Unreality Mag]
How to ensure your children give you the worst senior care possible: A Minnesota linguist spoke ONLY Klingon to his infant son for the first three years of his life to see if babies would learn Klingon like any regular human language. Wheeee! Babies are fun to experiment on! [boing boing]
Their parents probably taught them Klingon. A woman dressed as Pikachu accepted a marriage proposal from a man dressed as Raichu, which my nerd friends tell me is another kind of Pokemon. [Topless Robot]
‘Modern Family’ to get somehow even better. On the heels of the announcement that Ed Norton and Elizabeth Banks would both have guest appearances on the show, the newest addition to the extended family will be Fred Willard, perfectly cast as Ty Burrell’s father. [Fancast]
Nice jacket. Blake Lively of “Gossip Girl” has excellent fashion sense. Boobs are so in right now. [Guyism]
Can’t I just get it On Demand? The “Always Sunny” cast talks about their special holiday DVD, “A Very Sunny Christmas.” Probably the only time I’ll be interested in something that involves a naked Danny DeVito. Probably. [Fancast]
The 30 Best TV Series of the ’00s: A solid compilation from the well-respected the Onion’s A.V. Club. I’d bump “Venture Bros.” and “Six Feet Under” up the list a little bit, but otherwise I don’t have too many complaints. [A.V. Club]
Fired or not fired? Jennifer Morrison, who plays Cameron on “House,” responds to questions about her character leaving the show: “I really don’t know. All I know is that I don’t know. And they keep making it very clear to me that I don’t know.” Got it. [E Online]
The Ten Longest and Awesomest Fight Scenes of All Time. Dude, HUGE props for the inclusion of The Quiet Man. An underrated classic — and my favorite John Wayne movie. [Topless Robot]
You have to be kidding. Twilight author Stephanie Meyer is the subject of a comic book. As in, they made a biographical comic book about her. It looks terrible and ridiculous. [Comics Alliance]
Finally, a paper doll I can use to masturbate. The Christina Hendricks cutout doll, featuring her character’s outfits from “Mad Men” Season 3. And just what the hell is Matthew Weiner’s excuse for not putting her in lingerie this season? [flickr via suicideblonde] Related link: If you’ve never seen it, check out the collection at Mad Men Illustrated.
Marion Barry is getting his own reality show. An unscripted program? I dunno. Marion prefers to have lines. *hip thrust* [We Love DC]
Like that, but more insane. Hey, remember the “X-Men” cartoon from the ’90s? This is the Japanese version. Spoiler: Wolverine gropes Jean Grey on the subway. [Topless Robot]
Check out this boot. Letterman did something cool the other night when he honored the Marine Corps birthday with a Top Ten list for them. STAND BY FOR MILITARY JARGON. it’s just a bust a bunch of REMFs and reservists, one guy with a CAR, and a boot-ass zero. [YouTube]
Thermal imaging of a fart. No, it’s not TV-related. It’s just thermal imaging of a fart. I don’t know, I think it’s cool. Why are you asking so many questions? Who are you, the prosecuting attorney? [Geekologie]
R.I.P. Winona Ryder’s career. She’s starring in a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie. Ouch. But… at least she’s starring? [Pajiba]
Dear God please no. People who attended Oprah’s taping of her interview with Sarah Palin (which airs next week) left with the impression that Palin is still eyeing a gig as the host of a talk show. Ugh. I’ll stop saying bad things about Leno, just please: no Sarah Palin show. [NBC Chicago]
Thank you. James Walcott explains all the negative effects that reality programming has had on both television and society. I found myself nodding in agreement most of the way through this article. [Vanity Fair]
Don’t worry, CBS will make it crappy and watered down. The popular Twitter feed Sh-t My Dad Says will be the basis for a new sitcom on CBS. It’ll be just like “Frasier” if Frasier worked as a web writer. Before Frasier’s career fell apart with “Hank.” [Hollywood Reporter]
‘Mad Men’ as X-Men. Sounded like a stupid idea to me, but I have to admit that the execution here is solid. Approve. [Mad Atoms, part 2 here]
‘For relaxing times, make it Santori time.’ I love it when big-time Hollywood stars do commercials overseas they’d never assent to in the States. In this one, Clooney gets a piano dropped on his head, and John Malkovich plays St. Peter. Man, that Clooney is handsome in every language. [Screen Junkies]
I’ll always love the Bert and Ernie gangsta rap. Celebrate the 40th anniversary of “Sesame Street” with these remixes, covers, and mash-ups. [Urlesque]
Tears. Running down my face. A collection of videos of servicemen returning from deployment being greeted by their dogs. [Mental Floss]
Headline: ‘Pop culture snobs thrown into existential dilemma’ - Super-cool band My Morning Jacket will be on totally lame “American Dad.” Oh no, my worldview is askew! I don’t know what to look down on any more! [Stewie's Playground]
But I want Season 4 NOW! Matthew Weiner shares his thoughts on Season 3 of “Mad Men” in this interview that will be awesome for fans of the show and completely dull for non-fans. [The Daily Beast]
This is Why You’re Fat. “The average American spent ‘four hours and 49 minutes a day on average in front of the TV’ during the most recent TV season, The Nielsen Company said Tuesday. A few minutes shy of the five-hour mark, the 2008-9 season average is the highest ever… Compared with 10 years ago, viewing is up 20 percent.” Christ, I only average a little over two hours a day, and that’s because I watch about nine hours of pro football a week. Ugh, I wanna scream in America’s face while I make it do push-ups. [NYT Media Decoder]
