[faints]

Showtime announced on Thursday (February 2) that [Michael] Sheen will play William Masters and [Lizzy] Caplan will be Virginia Johnson in “Masters of Sex,” which focuses on the “human sexuality pioneers.”

Masters and Johnson began their research at Washington University in 1957, culminating in the publication of the seminal — pun horribly intended — texts “Human Sexual Response” and “Human Sexual Inadequacy,” published in 1966 and 1970. The Showtime series is an adaptation of Thomas Maier’s “Masters of Sex: The Life and Times of William Masters and Virginia Johnson, The Couple Who Taught America How To Love.” [HitFix]

[resuscitated by paramedics]

This show sounds good.

Japan is just the best. Mostly SFW video below.

Prometheus Trailer Leaks Early, Michael Fassbender Has a Flashlight — The second half of the headline could have read “Michael Fassbender Literally Talks Out of His Butt, Ace Ventura-Style” and I’d still be excited for this movie. Actually, the butt thing isn’t such a bad idea. (Gamma Squad)

No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No — I can feel Burnsy’s rage about Nacho sticking his corn chip in Kate Upton’s melted cheese from here. (With Leather)

Gwar Reviews War Horse — On Gwar’s Wikipedia page, they’re labeled as a “comedy rock” band, alongside genre-mates Weird Al and the guy who sang “Purple People Eater.” (FilmDrunk)

“The Other Side” – Review of the Roots’ undun — In a word: awesome. (The Smoking Section)

The 20 Most Important GIFs of 2011 — I looked at the Ron Swanson Droste Effect one for about five minutes last night, yet it felt like an eternity. When I came to, I was surrounded by ALL the bacon and eggs. (Uproxx)

Louis C.K. Fan Art Worthy of Hanging Above Your Toilet — But where will my Dane Cook art go? (Uproxx)

Hollywood’s Hottest Jews: Some People Are Just a Little More “Chosen” Than Others — Lizzy Caplan can mitzvah with me any time. (It doesn’t have to make sense to work.) (Pajiba)

Debate of the Day: The Hobbit Trailer — Your opinion? I thought it looked a little boring and, to a fault, EXACTLY like the first three films, which is a shame, because The Hobbit is the breeziest Lord of the Rings book (and my favorite). Casting Martin Freeman was perfect, though. (Unreality)

“The Final Countdown” — The fantastic “Saved by the Bell” Tumblr LOLSlater will be closing its doors next week, and our own Danger Guerrero will be contributing to a list of top moments from the show, and a giant wrap-up mailbag. Excellent use of his law degree. (LOLSlater)

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Not content with writing incessant stories about the “Arrested Development” movie that still isn’t happening, bloggers are now adding a non-existent “Party Down” movie into the pointless hype cycle. This all started when Lizzy Caplan told Alan Sepinwall that she’d do a movie based on the canceled Starz comedy “for free,” which got fans excited, which got creator Rob Thomas — who talked a LOT about making a “Veronica Mars” movie that never happened — to talk about the possibility of “Party Down” movie during the Alamo Drafthouse’s recent marathon of the show:

“People are talking to us about doing a Party Down movie. We are pretty far down the deal-making process with that, so we’re hopeful that there will be a Party Down movie. Ideally, if it works out we could be shooting in television hiatus time next spring. Hopefully that deal will close, and we’ll all tweet about it when it does.” [video below, via slashfilm]

Note the key words “hopeful” and “ideally” and “hopefully.” This reminds me of two sayings I learned in the Marines:

“Hope is not a course of action.”
“Wish in one hand and sh*t in the other. See which fills up first.”

Thomas didn’t mention anything about a script or interest from studios, which means that the “Party Down” movie that doesn’t exist isn’t even as far along as the “Arrested Development” movie that doesn’t exist. But yeah, let’s keep talking about this. I hear Rob Thomas has a unicorn he’s going to show us in 2013.

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This is movie news and therefore more of FilmDrunk’s realm, but Alison Brie and Lizzy Caplan are such crowd favorites here that I need to share this casting news. Brie (star of “Community” and “Mad Men”) and Caplan (“Party Down,” “True Blood”) have been cast as sisters in an indie romantic comedy called Save the Date.

Awesome, right? Well, yes and no. The gorgeous and talented actresses will be paired with Geoffrey “Snozzberries” Arend and Martin Starr (inset, left). Details from the AV Club:

Caplan will play a woman who’s “ambivalent about her future,” while Brie plays her sister, one who’s “more at peace with life and long-term commitment.” Rounding out the cast is Caplan’s former Party Down partner Martin Starr, and she’ll also be romanced by a music-loving guy played by Geoffrey Arend, better known as the husband to Brie’s Mad Men co-star Christina Hendricks.

Now, I have nothing against Arend and Starr as actors. I especially liked Starr in “Party Down,” which — unlike Save the Date — smartly acknowledged that someone who looks like Starr has no chance of romancing someone who looks like Lizzy Caplan. I mean, come on, Hollywood. I know Brie and Caplan play approachably cool hot girls, but they still have their sense of vision.

Lizzy Caplan, who won over critics “Party Down” and my boner in “True Blood,” is now developing a comedy for HBO that looks to be her first major starring role.

HBO is teaming with Will Ferrell and Adam McKay’s Gary Sanchez and actress Lizzy Caplan to develop a comedy series project based on actress/writer Julie Klausner’s memoir I Don’t Care About Your Band…

The book, a gritty but comedic look at what it’s like to navigate the dating world in your 20s, chronicles Klausner’s experiences from her preadolescent sexual awakenings through the unsavory details of sleeping with a gallery of losers throughout her 20s. [Deadline]

In case you’ve got a scoreboard keeping track of this at home, Caplan’s rise to starring in an HBO series officially drops Lindsay Lohan to fourth place in the category of “Success of young actresses from Mean Girls” (Rachel McAdams and Amanda Seyfried still have the top two spots).

Lacey Chabert, meanwhile, is a tampon commercial away from bumping Lohan to fifth. Ladies, let that be a reminder to you: leave the cocaine abuse to strippers and Lawrence Taylor.

See more photos and videos of Lizzy here »