Finally, a paper doll I can use to masturbate. The Christina Hendricks cutout doll, featuring her character’s outfits from “Mad Men” Season 3. And just what the hell is Matthew Weiner’s excuse for not putting her in lingerie this season? [flickr via suicideblonde] Related link: If you’ve never seen it, check out the collection at Mad Men Illustrated.
Marion Barry is getting his own reality show. An unscripted program? I dunno. Marion prefers to have lines. *hip thrust* [We Love DC]
Like that, but more insane. Hey, remember the “X-Men” cartoon from the ’90s? This is the Japanese version. Spoiler: Wolverine gropes Jean Grey on the subway. [Topless Robot]
Check out this boot. Letterman did something cool the other night when he honored the Marine Corps birthday with a Top Ten list for them. STAND BY FOR MILITARY JARGON. it’s just a bust a bunch of REMFs and reservists, one guy with a CAR, and a boot-ass zero. [YouTube]
Thermal imaging of a fart. No, it’s not TV-related. It’s just thermal imaging of a fart. I don’t know, I think it’s cool. Why are you asking so many questions? Who are you, the prosecuting attorney? [Geekologie]
R.I.P. Winona Ryder’s career. She’s starring in a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie. Ouch. But… at least she’s starring? [Pajiba]
Dear God please no. People who attended Oprah’s taping of her interview with Sarah Palin (which airs next week) left with the impression that Palin is still eyeing a gig as the host of a talk show. Ugh. I’ll stop saying bad things about Leno, just please: no Sarah Palin show. [NBC Chicago]
Thank you. James Walcott explains all the negative effects that reality programming has had on both television and society. I found myself nodding in agreement most of the way through this article. [Vanity Fair]
“All those in favor of motorboating Joan?”
People who don’t watch or aren’t up to speed on “Mad Men”: kindly excuse yourselves. The grown-ups have an immensely satisfying season finale of a badass TV show to talk about it. I don’t want to go into any spoilers (we’ll save that for the comments), but let’s have a very quick run-down of Season 3, Episode 11 (”Shut the Door. Have a seat”) in a quick installment of Just the Badass Parts:
Any more than that and people who haven’t seen it yet will complain, but I’d like to offer up a round of e-high-fives to everyone else who watched and let out excited whoops like I did. Not that it didn’t come without some downers as well (I guess the kids are spending Christmas with the nanny?), but the whole episode was a tremendous conclusion that wrapped up Season 3’s emotional train wreck while sending the characters — and series — in a brave new direction. Cheers, Matthew Weiner. This is me raising a 3 o’clock whiskey to you. It’s gonna be a long nine months ’til your show is back.
Mad Men (AMC) — Season 3 finale. Can it be as depressing as each of the last two weeks? Probably. Especially considering that there’s no “Mad Men” next Sunday.
Keeping Up with the Kardashians (E!) — Oh look, it’s Khloe’s bullsh-t wedding to Lamar Odom.
Football Night in America (NBC) — Cowboys at Eagles. I need Miles Austin to save one of my fantasy teams, but if he plays well I’ll almost certainly lose in my other league where I’m playing against him. Note to everyone: do NOT play fantasy football.
Family Guy Presents: Seth & Alex’s Almost Live Comedy Show (Fox) — NOT sponsored by Microsoft!
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC) — Yahoo: “James Terpenning has beaten the odds. He was crippled by polio, abandoned as an infant in Vietnam, got bumped from a plane that was supposed to airlift him out of the country only to learn that the plane crashed and killed everyone aboard, and ended up being adopted by an American family.” Kelly Pickler and her glorious fake cans show up to help James get a new home.
Bored to Death (HBO) — Season finale. I wouldn’t bother, but then I found out that John Hodgman punches Jason Schwartzman’s stupid face. For the record: you can’t spell “Schwartzman” without “shart.”
Californication (Showtime) — I haven’t spent nearly enough time praising this show this season, but bravo to Hank Moody for laying pipe to a fantastic collection offemale characters. And cheers to a confident, sexy writer character to make up for Schwartzman’s fictional Jonathan Ames.
Tool Academy (VH1) — Season finale. I don’t know what’s sadder: the fact that this show crowns a “winner,” or that that person gets $100,000. Probably the $100,000. Yeah, that’s more upsetting.
What with all the January Jones sexiness lately, it’s been a while since we’ve checked in with my other imaginary “Mad Men” girlfriend Christina Hendricks. What you see here is a scene from last night’s episode, in which Joan takes a vase to her rapey jackass husband’s head after he tells her that she doesn’t know what it’s like to have unfulfilled dreams. And considering that he’s the guy who isn’t fulfilling her dreams, this was delightfully warranted. The best part: he later apologizes with flowers and the promise that he’ll “get a new vase for these.” Score one for domestic violence!
(Other than that, though, last night’s episode was BRUTAL. I mean, it was really good, but it broke my heart at least three different times. I’m already sad about the season ending after two more episodes.)
I don’t want to wear out the welcome on this story, but GQ has just added more outtakes from Terry Richardson’s photo shoot of January Jones to their cover story on her, and dammit if this doesn’t still feel newsworthy to me. I mean, we’ve got television’s Betty Draper in bed with a cat! Do you have any idea the kind of restraint it took to not write the headline as “JANUARY JONES SHOWS OFF HER PUSSY IN BED”? Or “BETTY DRAPER’S PUSSY ISN’T SHAVED”?
I’m attempting to keep it classy here. Y’know, out of respect for the ladies. I try to exhibit a masculine sort of feminism at Warming Glow, and I want it to be clear that I have nothing but the utmost respect for women. Especially when they make my sandwich a little faster next time! AND NO MAYO! ARE YOU DEAF?
This isn’t exactly new, but it’s a nice follow-up to the January Jones GQ cover story/photo shoot and the ensuing “Are her boobs Photoshopped?” debate. It is, quite simply, a video of television’s Betty Draper wearing lingerie and being photographed, set to a sexy little electropop number. It’s a great way to make you want to make out with your computer screen.
(Side note: The other video that I was considering posting in this time slot was a Japanese TV clip of girls in bikinis trying to melt phallic pieces of ice as quickly as possible. In short, they simulate most of the sex acts I know, plus a couple I hadn’t considered before. Who won the contest? I’m not sure; I didn’t get all the way through it. So I guess that means I won, really.)
