I’m sure that, by now, you are all aware that Jessica Pare — who plays Megan Draper on “Mad Men” — was the topless woman in 2010′s Hot Tub Time Machine (see above). But I will see your Hot Tub Time Machine and raise you a full-blown lesbian love scene with Piper Perabo in the 2001 indie lesbian flick, Lost and Delirious. That film starred Piper Perabo (Coyote Ugly) and Jessica Pare as two women at an all-girls boarding school. Yes, they fell in love. And yes, there is a steamy nude love scene, but I will leave you all to find that on your own. I will simply leave you with the make-out GIFs and the YouTube video, because we’re a family-friendly site, damnit. I’ll also remind you, of course, to check out the weekly “Mad Men” discussion post over on the Uproxx mothership.

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Mad Men (AMC, Sunday) – On this week’s episode, Sally Draper burns hundreds of ants to death with a magnifying glass while laughing maniacally, then goes inside and drowns a cat in the bathtub. Probably.

Game of Thrones/Veep/Girls (HBO, Sunday) – I don’t watch any of these shows live, but I’ve got to believe — for those who do — the transition in style from “Game of Thrones” to “Veep” to “Girls” is jarring as hell. Like trying to drink coffee right after brushing your teeth.

Neal Brennan: The Half Hour (Comedy Central, Friday) – Neal Brennan, co-creator of “Chappelle’s Show” and all-around funny guy, has his first stand-up special airing tonight at 11:30 p.m. I strongly recommend you watch.

Fairly Legal/Common Law (USA, Friday) – I said this on Twitter (shameless plug), but at some point in the past few months, I became a person who DVRs “Fairly Legal” every Friday night and watches it Saturday morning, even though I am still not caught up on “Breaking Bad.” I’m not exactly sure how I feel about that.

Saturday Night Live (NBC, Saturday) – Season finale, hosted by Mick Jagger. This could be the last episode for Kristen Wiig, Andy Samberg, and Jason Sudeikis, so I imagine we’re looking at a glorified Best Of episode for the three. BRING BACK BLIZZARD MAN.

The Simpsons/Bob’s Burgers/Family Guy (FOX, Sunday) – Season finales, all around. Lady Gaga appears on “The Simpsons,” as discussed here.

Jesse Stone: Benefit of the Doubt (CBS, Sunday) – The latest in the series of CBS’s made-for-TV movies. These actually aren’t bad, for the record. But on a night where it’s up against so much other quality television, not even Tom Selleck’s luxurious mustache can get me to watch.

Sherlock (PBS, Sunday) – I have been furious with my parents ever since I found out that Benedict Cumberbatch was a thing you could name a baby. It makes my name look so boring by comparison. That’s why I’m naming my first son Stegosaurus Jones. No regrets, you know?

The Client List (Lifetime, Sunday) – This is probably the best show about handjobs currently on television.

Aziz Ansari: Dangerously Delicious/Hannibal Buress: Animal Furnace (Comedy Central, Sunday) – In addition to Neal Brennan’s special on Friday, Comedy Central is also airing these two specials back-to-back on Sunday night. Ansari’s is the one he released online a few months ago, and Buress’s is brand spanking new. Both dudes are hilarious, so these also come with a very strong recommendation. DVR them. You’ll thank me.

5 Albums Coming Out This Week That Don’t Suck — Beach House, Tenacious D, Killer Mike, and Best Coast? Yesterday was a good one for music. (Uproxx)

Which State Has the Worst State Song? — A worse state feature that doesn’t include South Carolina or Florida! (Uproxx)

Diablo III: The Review In Four Points — There’s a Diablo III character named Covetous Shen with a “greed for glittering precious stones is legendary.” He’s definitely not Jewish, what with that beard and all. (Gamma Squad)

The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 5/14/12: Get On Your Knees and Beg For It — (With Leather)

Your Mid-Week Guide to DVD and Streaming: The Chronicle of Liam Neeson Doing One For the Money — Thank God Albert Nobbs‘s is out on DVD; my complete Glenn Close DVD collection didn’t feel right without it. (Film Drunk)

6 Reasons Why The Amazing Spider-Man Will Be Better Than Spider-Man — Emma Stone > Kirsten Dunst. (Smoking Section)

Patton Oswalt Tries to Find First “First” Commenter — (BuzzFeed)

College Humor Original: Bassists Look Too Bored (with Mark Hoppus) — (College Humor)

17 Best Comedian Commencement Speeches — (HuffPo)

10 best time travel movies of all timelines — (Fark)

Identifying the Exact Moment 10 Current TV Shows Should’ve Ended their Runs — (Pajiba)

GameFly Fantasizes About Tearing GameStop Stores Apart — (Guy Speed)

Five Movies I Didn’t Plan to Love — (Unreality Mag)

Dude Drinks Bottle of Jagermeister in 30 Seconds, Eats Toilet Paper to Avoid Puking — (Bro Bible)

12 Really Forced Portmanteaux That Didn’t Catch On — (Mental Floss)

Jay-Z: The First Gay Rapper — (Death + Taxes)

The Pebble Smartwatch: Kickstarter’s Record-Shattering $10 Million Project — (The Week)

R. Kelly and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, 75-Second Concert — (High Definite)

Because we’ve unintentionally decided we’re only going to talk about people on AMC and NBC shows today: here’s a clip of Jon Hamm rapping about “Taxi” with Reggie Watts from the upcoming podcast-turned-talk show “Comedy Bang Bang,” which premieres on IFC on June 8. (If anyone read “Taxi” and thought of the Jimmy Fallon/Queen Latifah movie from 2004, please leave and never come back.) Over Watts’s looped beat, Hamm freestyles about the show’s cast: “Louie’s there, Bobby’s there, Elaine, Tony Danza’s there. Also in attendece: Latka, played by Andy Kaufman.” It gets even better when he does a spot-on impression of Christopher Lloyd’s Reverend Jim, and says, “He came along in the later seasons/A lot of people said they jumped the shark/I thought the show got better.” Which is true.

Jon Hamm’s insistence on doing awesome things, like rapping about “Taxi” with Reggie Watts (I just like saying that), is making it really hard for a guy who isn’t Jon Hamm to get laid these days. Face it, world: compared to him, we’re all Harry Crane. Video below.

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This week’s episode of “Mad Men” ended with Don Draper sitting back and trying to get a little weird to the psychedelic rhythms of “Tomorrow Never Knows,” the last track off the Beatles’ 1966 album Revolver. It was a moment that paid off a couple set-ups throughout the episode, most notably that time is starting to pass Don by. It also provided a cool bookend to an episode that started with a group of advertising men talking about how tough it is to get the rights to a Beatles song. Why is it so tough to get them you ask? Because it costs a royal butt-ton (industry term):

As with most transactions that involve the Beatles, that usage did not come cheap. According to two people briefed on the deal, who were not authorized to speak about it, Lionsgate, the studio that produces “Mad Men,” paid about $250,000 for the recording and publishing rights to the song. That is an appropriately high price, several music and advertising executives say, since many major pop songs can be licensed for less than $100,000. [New York Times]

The Times article has a lot more information about how “Mad Men” showrunner Matthew Weiner went about acquiring the rights, and I recommend reading it all because he is hilariously cranky about the whole thing. It’s very clear that he wants to talk about how the music relates to the story he’s trying to tell, but all anyone else wants to talk about is the Beatles and how much he paid and how it affects the budget going forward. I understand his point, that you really can’t have a show that deals with everything going on in the 1960s and try to dance around one of the most culturally important parts of the era, but when you plunk down a houseworth of money for like a minute of a 45-year-old song, it’s going to raise some eyebrows.

NOTE: My favorite part of this story, by a mile, is that Weiner had to pay $250k for the song and I can just embed it for free at the bottom of this post. The Internet is great.

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