TV In 2012 Is Going to Be Awesome

01.16.12 Written by Josh

First the you-have-to-be-kidding-me news: AMC announced this weekend that “The Killing,” the show that made it possible for Denmark to bomb us with reasonable cause, will return on April 1. They’re fu*king with us? There’s no other reason why season two of the “best show on TV” would start on April Fool’s Day, which is also the same night the (maybe) ACTUAL answer for the best show on TV, “Game of Thrones,” returns to HBO.

But more importantly:

-AMC also officially confirmed the March 25 premiere date for season five of “Mad Men.” But also added that the premiere will be two hours.

-The previously announced third season of “The Walking Dead” will be 16 episodes — three episodes longer than season two.

– While there’s no official date for “Breaking Bad” season five, AMC says the show will return sometime in the third quarter of this year. (EW.com)

So, yeah, “Breaking Bad,” “Mad Men,” “Game of Thrones,” “Homeland,” “Justified,” “Sherlock,” “The Walking Dead,” “Boardwalk Empire” — I’m liking 2012, and those are just the returning dramas. Also, we all agree to ignore “The Killing” on April 1 and watch “Game of Thrones” instead, right? Right.

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Breaking: Giant Ding Dong Invades America

01.09.12 Written by Danger Guerrero

There has been an unbelievable amount of great TV news today. We’ve already covered the return of “Community” and the now official “Party Down” movie, as well as the “Eastbound & Down” Season 3 trailer, but there’s also been the announcements that “Mad Men” will return on March 25th (!), and that my favorite comedy-nerd podcast, Comedy Bang Bang, will be turned into a TV show for IFC. All of these things are important, and they’re really exciting given the barren wasteland of crappy reality shows and exploited children doing horrifying things we usually have to cover around here. It’s a nice breath of fresh air, and I had every intention of using this post to remind us to be thankful for such great day for fans of good, smart television.

But then “Good Morning America” weatherman Sam Champion went right ahead and drew an entire ding-a-ling across the top of the United States, and I laughed for ten straight minutes, took a screencap of it, and posted it at the top of the page. It was completely out of my hands. What am I, made of stone?

I can’t be expected to work under these conditions.

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When Are Our Favorite Shows Returning?!?

12.29.11 Written by Josh

Yeah, the waiting is the hardest part...

I know we’ve been not-so-subtly complaining about the lack of TV news this week, but that’s only because we’re so close to the season premieres of “Justified,” “Archer,” and many of our other favorite TV shows — including “Mad Men,” some 500-plus days after “Tomorrowland.” And inevitable new favorites, too, like “Are You There, Chelsea?” and the exclamation point-less “Rob.” It’s tough to get excited about Ryan Murphy telling people to re-watch “American Horror Story” when you know Emmy Rossum doing body shots is right around the corner.

You can check out the full list of returning series after the jump, but for the crowd who only cares about when “Eastbound & Down” and other WG-approved shows are going to be back (I feel like this guy), here’s an abridged version, sorted by network:

ABC: “Happy Endings”/“Modern Family”/”Suburgatory” (Jan. 4)
NBC: “SNL” (Jan. 7), “30 Rock”/“Parks and Recreation”/“The Office”/”Up All Night” (Jan. 12)
CBS: “How I Met Your Mother” (Jan. 2)
FOX: “The Simpsons” (Jan. 8), “Fringe” (Jan. 13), “New Girl” (Jan. 17), “Bob’s Burgers” (Mar. 11)
FX: “Justified” (Jan. 17), “Archer” (Jan. 19)
AMC: “The Walking Dead” (Feb. 12), “Mad Men” (March)
HBO: “Eastbound and Down” (Feb. 19)
Showtime: “Californication”/”Shameless” (Jan. 8)

New shows worth checking out: FOX’s “Alcatraz” (Jan. 16), HBO’s “Angry Boys” (Jan. 1) and “Luck” (Jan. 29), Showtime’s “House of Lies” (Jan. 8) and “Inside Comedy” (Jan. 26), and FX’s “Unsupervised” (Jan. 19). And, of course, “Game of Thrones” (April), meaning: Pete Campbell vs. Joffrey Baratheon. Who you got?

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End of the Golden Age of TV? Not Quite, New York Times

12.16.11 Written by Josh

Why, New York Times, why? Last week the Grey Lady published an article about TV’s increasing reliance on social media and GIFs, which never once mentioned Dan Harmon, probably the only showrunner who’s ever said the word “GIF” in an interview. (Kurt Sutter might have said it, too, but he probably thinks it means something inappropriate even for this website.) Now there’s: “Clues That Lead to More Clues That Add Up to Nothing.”

I agree with most of the first half of the article, which argues that the creative team behind “Lost” was so involved with laying out clues in the first three seasons of the show that the final three were an absolute mess, the writers involved in an “ever-growing pile of unsolved mysteries, madly skimming Wikipedia entries on space-time geometries and black holes.” But when the Times writer claims, “Lost” was like a dirty bomb that made the world unsafe for serial dramas to this day,” she began to lose me. And she totally lost me at:

In the wake of “Lost,” network and cable executives seem to crave ever bigger (and emptier) televisual thrill pellets. Forget that the very best dramas of the current golden age — “The Sopranos,” “Six Feet Under,” “The Wire,” “Mad Men,” “Breaking Bad” — build suspense through careful character development, restrained dialogue and meticulous storytelling. “Lost” produced a dangerous addiction to spectacular, heart-stopping pilots with very little clue where to go from there.

Sure, networks pretty quickly began emulating “Lost,” and they pretty much all sucked. Remember “FlashForward” and “The Event”? Terrible. But two of the examples she gives, “Mad Men” and “Breaking Bad,” came three and four years after “Lost” premiered. (She also later refers to the quality of “Mad Men” in the past tense, even though season four was its best yet, with its greatest episode, “The Suitcase.”) “Lost” clearly couldn’t have done that much damage because while it was still on, two of the greatest slow-paced dramas ever, “Mad Men” and “Breaking Bad,” premiered. To further prove her point, she offers up three more “twist-and-turn-packed sloppiness” series in “The Killing,” “Homeland,” and “American Horror Story.” Yes, two of those are sloppy (not “Homeland”), but at no point are “Game of Thrones,” “Justified,” “Boardwalk Empire,” “Friday Night Lights,” “Sons of Anarchy,” or “The Good Wife” brought up. And that’s not to mention “Battlestar Galactica,” “Pushing Daisies,” “Veronica Mars,” etc. all of which took major dramatic risks, and mostly succeeded.

There are always going to be dumb dramas on TV, just as shi*ty music and movies will always be sold and released. But to claim “some of us have been burned too many times to head back into that jungle maze yet again” is to ignore some of the greatest dramas of all-time, all of which premiered after “Lost” supposedly destroyed the genre. One more thing: when you say “Lost”’s “toxic stain…threatens, even in death, to kill the current golden age of television,” are we just ignoring the fact that we’ve never had such a plethora of quality sitcoms as we do right now. Like, ever, in the history of television.

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The 15 Best TV Series on Netflix Instant

12.01.11 Written by Dustin Rowles

This, our first feature post of the post-Ufford Era (*single tear*) is both broad and, except perhaps for the numbering of list, somewhat obvious if you’re a TV fan. But it serves a dual purpose. First, it’s an introduction to our television viewing habits that let’s you know that we’re not going to sell you down the river for a glimpse of Whitney Cummings a$$ crack and that “Two and a Half Men” and The Kardashians will remain fodder for mockery and never, ever viewed or spoken of in earnest.

Second, television reruns dominate the next month and you’re stuck with your family, which is why December is the most popular month of the year for Netflix Instant subscribers (made-up fact) because it is both a good time to catch up on shows you’ve been meaning to watch and a good time to avoid talking to your loved ones. So, these 15 Netflix Instant titles also serve as a primer: For a true television junkie, this is the base of your television-viewing stew, the series you need to be familiar with to get by in this world, to understand pop-culture shorthand. It is knowledge, and knowledge is power, and power is something you can use to gain world domination. Watching “Arrested Development” is the first step in ruling your own small country of topless concubines and lazy peaceniks.

Note: Only series currently available on Netflix Instant are included.

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