‘Franklin & Bash’ Renewed, Bro

07.26.11 Written by Matt

TNT has renewed the bro-riffic “Franklin & Bash” for a second season, thus ensuring that Warming Glow’s fratty recaps of the show will continue next summer, assuming Danger Guerrero doesn’t get a job in a law office (which, let’s face it, he probably won’t). The show averages 3.9 million viewers and — even more impressively — makes Breckin Meyer significantly less punchable.

“This summer, Franklin & Bash has broken out as a hugely entertaining series with great characters, sharp writing and a terrific cast,” said Michael Wright, executive vice president, head of programming, for TNT, TBS and Turner Classic Movies in a statement. “We’re thrilled that the show has drawn such a remarkably strong following and look forward to bringing it back next summer.”

I hate to agree with something that an entertainment executive said in statement, but I’ve gone from watching “Franklin & Bash” on an ironic whim to adding it to my DVR rotation and genuinely enjoying it. It’s a fun — and funny — hour that goes quickly, and I especially enjoy its complete disregard for any established legal procedure. Lawyers and courts bore the ever-loving sh*t out of me. I’m glad someone finally threw out the idea of realism and substituted it with extra cleavage.

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Stupid Lucky Zach Morris

10.13.10 Written by Matt

This saucy video is from Monday night’s “Weeds,” and needless to say, Mark-Paul Gosselaar pulling Mary-Louise Parker’s hair was just the beginning. What followed after this scene was probably the best sex scene between two hyphenated names we’ll ever see. Bohemea (NSFW) says…

I knew there was a filthy sex scene coming up between Nancy & Zach Morris. I did not know that MPG would totally violate MLP in ways that I’ve only imagined. He pulled her hair, spanked her with a belt, bent her over a bar & held her down while he had his beastly Preppie way with her. It was one of the most outstanding sex scenes I’ve ever witnessed.

The link above is accompanied by several NSFW screencaps of the scene, and you can watch the glorious unedited video at Fleshbot. But on the off chance that you’re forbidden from looking at nudity while at work, I’ve made SFW screencaps after the jump. I’m not sure what selfless miracle Mark-Paul Gosselaar pulled off to get the karmic retribution of this scene, but it’s somewhere on the level of blowing Jesus.

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Zach Morris Was Always Zach Morris

09.21.10 Written by Matt

This, my friends, is why the Internet was invented: it’s a clip from “The Wonder Years” in which Kevin (Fred Savage) thinks he’s got some adolescent tail lined up, only to suffer the shock and embarrassment of Mark-Paul Gosselaar swooping in and stealing his date (via BuzzFeed).

Actually, if you think about the different time periods of “The Wonder Years” and “Saved by the Bell,” it’s conceivable that Gosselaar is playing Zach Morris’s father in this clip. Oh man, I bet Zach Morris’s dad has some STORIES to tell. And they all involve Qualuudes and more untamed bush than the Congolese jungle.

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‘SAVED BY THE BELL’ + POINTER SISTERS

03.17.10 Written by Matt

There are many things to love about “Saved by the Bell” in the way it captured the unique crappiness of the early ’90s. Zack Morris’s gigantic cell phone. The brightly colored clothes. Kelly Kapowski’s power bangs. The way Dustin Diamond’s Screech made Steve Urkel look like a carefully crafted Shakespearean character. But there’s little argument that the episode where Jesse gets hooked on caffeine pills is the apex of the series. Her rendition of “I’m So Excited” as she melts down in front of Zack is a flash of the dramatic genius that would later make Showgirls a timeless classic (and make me believe that the female orgasm involved flopping around in a pool like a dolphin caught in a tuna net).

Anyway, that brings us to the video above. It could be edited down a bit more, but it’s still a worthy tribute to this bastion of the mindless entertainment gruel that we all so loved back then. Man, the ’90s. What a crazy time. It was actually okay to have frizzy hair.

JesseSpanoElizabethBerkley-pole

(via the duty)

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SCREECH’S BOOK SUCKS

09.24.09 Written by Matt

screech

Dustin Diamond, the actor who played Screech on “Saved by the Bell” before attaining such lofty heights as banruptcy (2001) and a sex tape (2006), is coming out with a new tell-all book, Behind the Bell, that provides shocking revelations about the iconic ’90s teen series. Shocking revelations like… marijuana use!

I could smell a certain ‘smoke,’ wafting from from the crack” underneath his castmates’ dressing rooms, says Diamond, 32.

He also alleges costarMark Paul Gosselaar — who played popular Zack Morris — used steroids before production started on 1994′s short-lived Saved by the Bell: The College Years.

“He suddenly exploded with manliness [that's what SHE said - Ed.], loading 25 pounds of muscle on his once-scrawny frame in, oh, about a month,” says Diamond, who is not in touch with any of his costars. (Gosselaar, 35, has dismissed his costar’s so-called revelations to Us: “We weren’t in rehab and Mr. Belding wasn’t my crack dealer.”)

Diamond… goes on to say his costars hooked up off-camera. “If Kelly [Tiffani Thiessen] was interested in Slater [Mario Lopez] one week, then backstage there was a lot going between them in Mario [Lopez]‘s room,” he tells the new Us Weekly. “Then, if Jessie [Elizabeth Berkley] kisses Zack, then you know Elizabeth Berkley is going in Mark-Paul’s room.” [Us Weekly]

So there you go. Some young people in Hollywood did drugs and had sex, alleges broke failure. Stop the presses. No, seriously, stop the presses. Don’t print any more copies of this book, no one wants it.

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