Mary-Louise Parker appeared on Letterman last night (video below), and she did nothing at all to dispel my no-holds-barred crush on her.  If my crush gets any more out of control I’m going to enter restraining order territory.  It’s my crush on Mary-Louise Parker’s world; we only live in it.

Anyway, my undying love for MLP aside, this really is a great late-night interview.  I sometimes forget how good Letterman is with guests — he gives Mary-Louise plenty of room to be charming and funny, but isn’t afraid to let silence punctuate an innuendo (see the 1:45 mark) or be brutally honest for a laugh (“I really wish I cared about this”).

I wish I could have been there in person.  I would have won Mary-Louise’s love by murdering Paul Shaffer.  Hey, it worked for John Hinckley, right?  No?  I thought he ended up with Jodie Foster?  A lesbian?  Really?  Huh.  What a waste of an assassination attempt.

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Fast forward to the beginning of the third season. I, like most people was feeling pretty high on weeds. The season two finale (pictured above) had been explosive and the new season seemed to promise so much. Mary was hot, the weed was smokin’ and Kevin Nealon was getting funny in a way no one expected Kevin Nealon to be funny and there were Olsen Twins running around! The whole show was getting grittier and darker. Nancy’s decisions had progressed from her simple motivation of protecting her family into something else. She had begun to really care about the power she got from dealing. The power had begun to corrupt.

And the fans went wild. People were giving Showtime cred for the first time since Huff (HA! Just kidding, Huff never got any cred). Things were good. But you know the saying: good weather makes bad tiding friends distempered. Weeds went ahead and did what you can’t do. It jumped the shark.

Come back in an hour when I apologize for using the phrase “Jump the Shark” in Part 3.

I hope Matt won’t mind if I do something a little different with my four posts today. I saw the latest episode (S05E09) of “Weeds” last night and it struck me just so. I wrote a little piece about it. Want to hear it? Here it goes:

You could say I was into the first season of weeds. I mean besides having a post-religious crush on Mary Louise-Parker from her super hot sexually frustrated Mormon wife in Tony Kushner’s “Angels in America”, this was going to be a show about weed! I smoked weed! Actually in the middle of a graduate program at NYU I had rediscovered weed in a big way. Weed and I were in the middle of a beautiful love affair and now it had Mary Louise-Parker’s face!?! And the first season was magical. The chemistry between Mary Louise-Parker’s Nancy and Romany Malco’s Conrad was enough to float an entire show. Not to mention you had Justin Kirk and Kevin Nealon being hilarious all over the place. It was clever, unpredictable and did something that few shows really do, it let its characters make decisions and suffer the consequences. Things weren’t necessarily going to be OK. In fact they were most likely going to turn out pretty bad. But in this case bad was good and “Weeds” was great.

Check back in an hour for part 2!

I love this.  The Hollywood Reporter put together a roundtable of the Emmy nominees for Best Actress in a Comedy Series — Amy Poehler, Sarah Silverman, Christina Applegate, Jane Krakowski, Mary-Louise Parker, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus — and had ‘em rap about thangs.  I like this first clip best because it’s mostly Silverman being funny and people complimenting Mary-Louise, but there are two more below that talk about women aging in Hollywood (Poehler’s the youngest at 37) and Christina Applegate’s role in “Married with Children” that I just find fascinating and funny.  It’s cool to see these established entertainers talk about their work schedules and struggles and successes and failures.

My only complaint is that Mary-Louise Parker and Julia Louis-Dreyfus are sitting next to each other.  Don’t they realize how hard it is to keep my hyphenated names straight?  Why not just line them up with Mary Lou Retton and Richard Lewis and Richard Dreyfus and see who can make the most complex name?  I vote for Mary Lou-Louise Louis-Lewis.  Richard Dreyfus can get bent. (via Videogum)

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Must… resist… “hair pie” joke

“Weeds” star Mary-Louise Parker is featured in the August issue of Esquire, and man oh man I have never been this hot for a woman in her 40s before.  She’s just great in every way: a really good actress, smart, a good writer, scorchingly hot, and eager to get naked.  Consider this: Billy Crudup left her while she was pregnant to go shack up with Claire Danes’s fug ass.  That’s insane.  I’d push Claire Danes into traffic just to get a better look at Mary-Louise.

After the jump, I’ve got the full text of the Esquire article (which includes a thank you note to me written by MLP, plus… a recipe for pie?  WTF Esquire?) and also a video of Mary-Louise in her underwear reading from Alice in Wonderland.  At the end she takes a drink of milk and says, “Good night, little man” like she’s my hot babysitter, and there’s a little bit of a weird awkward pause where there’s all this sexual tension between me and the video player.  I really think there’s something special between us.

(Careful with these last two thumbnails — there’s nipple.  I guess Esquire shows that now.  Sweet!  Pics via WWTDD)