FACT: Phobe Cates was a lesbian for two weeks after this photo was taken.

Just go ahead and give Michael Douglas and Matt Damon Emmys now: the two will star in a Liberace biopic directed by Stephen Soderbergh that will air on HBO. The name of the film — I kid you not — is Behind the Candelabra.

[The film is] about the relationship between Liberace (Douglas), the flamboyant pianist, and his live-in lover Scott Thorson (Damon), who later filed a palimony suit against him… The film is written by Richard LaGravenese (“Water for Elephants,” “The Fisher King”); its executive producer is Jerry Weintraub, and it will be produced by Gregory Jacobs.

Mr. Weintraub, the veteran producer of “Nashville,” “Diner” and Mr. Soderbergh’s “Ocean’s” movies, and who was friendly with Liberace while he was alive, said in a telephone interview that the movie would be about the performer’s “dark side and his light side.”

Liberace’s sexuality, Mr. Weintraub said, “is not a delicate subject, but it was a taboo subject when he was a young man, not like today.” [NYT]

People in the 1970s have to be some of most gullible morons in the history of modern civilization. David Bowie put on a little bit of makeup, and suddenly people had no idea what gender norms were. They had NO IDEA that Liberace and Elton John and Freddie Mercury were gay. I mean, come ON. I liked Rocky Horror Picture Show too, but not every guy in makeup and fishnets is banging Susan Sarandon.

30 Rock (NBC) — It’s the much-ballyhooed live episode. Jon Hamm and Matt Damon are scheduled to guest star, and apparently, Tracy Morgan wants to break character and make other people laugh. Or maybe it’s Tracy Jordan? I dunno, it’s hard to tell any more.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo) — Series premiere. I looked at a couple of reviews, and it sounds as if though this one has faker-looking women who are less annoying than their New York and New Jersey counterparts.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX) — The Gang goes to a public swimming pool.

Youth Town Hall (MTV, BET, CMT) — Barack Obama gets a commercial-free hour to talk to young people. But how will I know it’s politics if no one’s shouting at me?

The Office (NBC) — Michael gets back in touch with all of his ex-girlfriends, including Jan (Melora Hardin) and Holly (Amy Ryan).

The Vanilla Ice Project (DIY) — Series premiere. Twenty years after the release of To the Extreme, Ice shares the secret of his post-music career financial success: he’s been “cashing in on buying property and flipping houses for years.” Mandatory viewing for MC Hammer. (quote from USA Today)

To give you more information on the headline, here’s Michael Ausiello:

Back in December, we informed Matt Damon that he was at the top of Tina Fey’s 30 Rock guest star wish list. His response? “I would do [30 Rock] in a heartbeat if they asked me to come on,” enthused the genuinely shocked thesp. “She should call my people — or even better me. Or I could call her. Let’s make this happen.”

Cut to March 31 and voila: Sources confirm to me exclusively that Matt Damon is going to guest star on 30 Rock! Although the specifics of his appearance are being kept hush-hush, I hear the Oscar winner’s episode will be one of the season’s last.

I really have nothing to add here. Matt Damon seems nice. We should be friends. Hey Matt Damon, let’s hang out and get some beers some time. You can bring your friend George Clooney, and I’ll bring… uh… Bear Grylls! Yeah, Bear and I totally hit it off. He definitely didn’t think I was insane, I can tell you that much.

Everyone who put the time into watching “Jimmy Kimmel’s Handsome Men’s Club” seemed to really enjoy it, so here’s a clip from Kimmel that reveals some of the outtakes during filming (see video below). It’s not nearly as long as the original sketch — that would be impossible — but it still has a few chuckles without resorting to the par-for-the-course “Oh no! I forgot my line!” crap that never makes me laugh.

This got me thinking: I’d kind of like to see the gender reverse of this. I mean, sure, the “Beautiful Women’s Club” probably wouldn’t be as funny, but it’d be really great to look at. I’m now taking votes for who could play the funnywoman host trying to pass herself off as beautiful. Tina Fey? Sarah Silverman? Oh yeah, Silverman. I never realized how perfect she and Kimmel were for each before now.

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Not pictured: Mark Wahlberg speaking to the donkey

Matt Damon was on the season finale of “Entourage” on Sunday night, and you know what that means: YAY, no more “Entourage” for a while! Oh, and also the video clip below, which is awesome for a minute while Damon trashes Vincent Chase over the phone for being retarded and terrible at life and a lousy actor. Unfortunately, the last 30 seconds or so are of Damon backing off and apologizing, which ruins the whole thing. Don’t stop, Damon! Keep going! Tell him that his head is gigantic and his hair is a stupid-looking ‘fro and he has puny girly arms and seriously, a grown man shouldn’t have friends named “Turtle.”

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