I hate the Sh*t X Say meme as much as the next guy who isn’t a Jamaican using the drive-thru. I thought it had reached its logical conclusion with “Sh*t Seattle People Say When It Snows Part 3,” a.k.a. The Trilogy (sorry, Randal), but I was wrong. Foolish. Naive, even.

The perfect endpoint is “Shit Tim Allen Says,” or more accurately, “Shit Tim Taylor Says.”

It’s brilliant, a response to the fact that no one’s actually saying anything in the Sh*t videos. They’re just a series of observational non-jokes that even Carlos Mencia wouldn’t steal (probably). “I ALSO hate it when that stoplight never changes to green when it’s below 50 degrees on the third Tuesday of every May outside of that bar that means something to me, but NOTHING to anyone else.” It’s the lowest form of comedy – not unlike Tim Taylor’s “Home Improvement” he-man grunts and UHHHHHNNNNs. Though if you play them all in a row backwards, you’ll hear an amazing short story about women’s suffrage, Balki from “Perfect Strangers,” and power tools.

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Remember January of last year, when you watched that video on YouTube about a crazy, “nastyass” honey badger who fought jackals and ate snakes? It was narrated by the effeminate Randall, who swore a lot and got easily distracted by the badger, who didn’t really give a sh*t. It was kind of funny for about five minutes, deserving of at least a brief chuckle, before you moved on to that video of a hippo pooping.

Well, because everyone hates you and this is where we are as a society: Canadian production company Six Eleven Media is developing an animation/live action hybrid TV adaptation based on the meme, called “Honey Badger U.” According to the Hollywood Reporter:

“Six Eleven was developing a university-based animated comedy following a professor who thinks he knows more than he really does, and his students, who know even less. When Randall’s Honey Badger videos took off last year garnering tens of millions of avid followers around the world, it seemed natural to merge the two concepts,” [Six Eleven Media executive Keith] Schenck said in a statement.

Besides the fact that those two things couldn’t have less to do with each another (I imagine idea meetings go like, “Hey,” says Executive #1, “This banana is yellow, as is that school bus. What if we had a BANANA driving a SCHOOL BUS?!1?”), this also proves yet again that executives and producers never learn from their mistakes. Say, how are cultural fad-based shows “Baby Bob,” “Cavemen,” and “$h*! My Dad Says” doing these days?

How many times have you gone to Wikipedia today, only to get their “Imagine a World without Free Knowledge” message? It’s happened to me four times already (I STILL don’t know the complete biographical background on the dad from “Webster”), and I’m pretty sure it’ll occur nine more times before the day’s out. But I’m not mad; I can wait to know what movies were shot in South Dakota. It’s for a good cause.

Today is SOPA Day on the Internet. Hundreds of websites, including Wikipedia and Reddit, are protesting the very bad Stop Online Piracy and Protect IP acts because, well, they’re very bad. Matt wrote about it back in November, and Señor Fancy Lawyer Man Danger Guerrero would like to add:

I can’t stress strongly enough to all of you how terrible the whole SOPA/PIPA thing is…Not only will this bill throw a giant wrench into the Internet, it also has SERIOUS Constitutional ramifications. It gives mass copyright holders (Disney, record companies, Viacom, etc.) the ability to restrict people’s speech and take away their property (websites) without due process.

That’s my favorite kind of process! So, contact your local representative and tell them, SOPA STINKS. After you’ve done that – ONLY after you’ve done that – check back here to see how the Internet has been reacting to the threat of censorship, through the use of TV shows and characters. I’ve added a few of my own, as should you. Find an image, add text here, and copy the link in the comments. We’ll include the best in the slideshow.

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Okay, this is a lot to process. The video below aired during the “MAD” sketch show on Cartoon Network, and it is a dizzying assault of memes. At its core, it’s a battle between the new Thundercats and Dogfort characters, but along the way there’s a lot of impact font and lolcats and ragetoons and other memes. It all makes perfect sense to me, but normal people — that is, people who don’t spend 12 hours a day on Tumblr and Reddit and Uproxx — will be absolutely baffled by it.

But that’s all moot. I’m just posting the video because Lobster Dog was finally on TV, as a cloned foot soldier in the Dogfort army. Oh man, can you imagine a platoon of Lobster Dogs? I can. I dream about it every night.

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I’ve always thought the whole “take a picture from a TV show or movie and then write a funny line over it in Impact font” meme was pretty simple, but I’ll also be the first to admit that I get a kick out of it every time. In this case, the meme du jour is Gloria Pritchett (the beloved Sofia Vergara) quotes from “Modern Family,” as introduced to us last week by our colleagues at Buzzfeed.

Adding to their effort made me realize that TV has been especially boring this summer, with my highlights coming from my daily DVR reruns of “Parks and Rec” and “Archer.” Then again, I still have every episode of “Wilfred” to watch, so I’m just being lazy. Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, September 21 and the new season of “Modern Family” can’t come fast enough, so enjoy the best of our favorite voluptuous Colombian actress and her hilarious lines in the meantime.

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