Today is the first official day of autumn, so you celebrities out there can finally exhale: the seasonal orgy of death has come to a close. I’ll always remember summer ’09 for the days that Twitter taught me how to grieve: for David Carradine’s apparent Michael Hutchence impression, for Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson on the same day, for a 4th of July marred by Steve McNair’s murder.

Some people will tell you that there wasn’t a death trend, and you need to seek out those contrarians and hammer their gonads with a rubber mallet. Jezebel recently made the mistaken claim that because a couple people who were most famous in the ’70s and ’80s died, today’s writers — mostly in their 30s and 40s — waxed nostalgic and thus it was misdiagnosed as a trend.

In 2008, for example, we lost Studs Terkel, in his nineties, like Cronkite; Paul Newman at 83, like [Dominick] Dunne; Michael Crichton of cancer in his sixties, like Fawcett; Tim Russert of a heart attack in his late fifties, like Hughes and Carroll; Bernie Mac unexpectedly at age 50, like Jackson; not to mention Jeff Healey and Brad Renfro, respectively far too young and far, far too young. Beloved Golden Girl Bea Arthur died in 2009 — and beloved Golden Girl Estelle Getty died in 2008. So what’s the big deal about this year?

Oh, I’m sorry. Help me out. Which former All-Pro and NFL MVP was shot in the chest at age 36 by his mistress in 2008? Which badass actor died of autoerotic asphyxiation in Thailand in 2008? You’re telling me this was normal? You can blame a celeb-obsessed culture and Twitter all you want, but there’s no getting around the fact that a high number of celebrity deaths were grouped unusually tightly over the course of a season.

And now it’s over. I’m kind of nostalgic for it already.

Read the rest of this entry »

Millions and millions of people watched Michael Jackson’s star-studded memorial service yesterday, and it ran the gamut from touching and sweet to ridiculously overblown (Really, Magic Johnson?  Michael Jackson made you a better point guard?).  But, as WWTDD noted, nothing beat ol’ Crazy Eyes McGee here.  He got them wild eyes, like a horse you gotta shoot (video after the jump).

The other video below is Jennifer Hudson’s performance of “Will You Be There,” which I thought was probably the best part after the crazy eyes.  However, if you’re into this sort of thing, check out Broken Cool’s excellent list of the top ten moments from the memorial.  It’s got everything from Brooke Shields talking about her friendship with MJ to Paris Jackson crying as she says she loves her daddy.  It really helped humanize Jackson for me.  Or maybe “humanize” isn’t quite the right word.  How about “de-freakify”?

Read the rest of this entry »

I have to be offline for a little while I get ready to pop out of the casket at Michael Jackson’s memorial service (spoiler alert!), so I figured now would be a good time to re-visit the video of Jackson and Brett Ratner dancing in the car to R. Kelly’s “Ignition” (previously seen on FilmDrunk last November).  Let that sink in: Brett Ratner + Michael Jackson +  R. Kelly.  That, my friends, is a scene that just oozes with the tears of repressed memories of child molestation.  ALLEGED child molestation, ha ha!  Suck on that, lawyers!

Anyway, rest in peace, King of Pop.  May Brett Ratner never be remembered so fondle-y.  FONDLY, I mean.  Freudian slip.

Michael Jackson’s memorial service at the Staples Center will be televised on just about every channel today (1 p.m. Eastern), and the lucky thousands who won a chance to attend in the funeral-ticket lottery will be treated with an absolute feast for their eyes: Jackson’s casket will be front and center, according to a TMZ report.

Anyway, this seems like a good time to address the “ghost” video above, which you’ve probably already seen because it’s been viewed over 4 million times on YouTube.  By the time something hits 4 million views, everyone’s seen it.  Your parents have even seen it, and they still use Internet Explorer (that’s an e-burn).  But sorry, everybody, the video is neither a fake nor Michael Jackson’s ghost; the hosts of Syfy’s “Ghosthunters” debunked it to PopWrap:

“It’s just someone walking in the far room casting their shadow. We see this all the time. The person would be on the left side of the far room, out of sight blocking a light. We see this a lot.”

Keep in mind that these are people who believe in ghosts professionally.  You’d think that they’d take every opportunity to reinforce the idea of supernatural occurrences (“Why yes, that Cheetoh does look like Jesus”).  So I’m gonna have to agree with them on the shadow.  I’m not believing in Michael Jackson’s ghost until it performs “Thriller” this afternoon.  With a special appearance from the ghost of Vincent Price.

I honestly believe that variations of this Horatio Caine comic are enough to heal any suffering in America.  Look how fast we got over David Carradine.  Just imagine if “CSI: Miami” had been on the air in 2001.  We totally could have laughed off 9/11.  Or maybe not.  The point is, David Caruso’s hilarious overacting + The Who = me smiling, no matter what.

After the jump, in our continued tribute to Michael Jackson, is the extended video for “Smooth Criminal.”  Pay close attention at the 5:45 mark — as commenter Zack pointed out, Jacko was so ahead of his time that he had cats playing the piano over twenty years before Keyboard Cat made it cool.

Read the rest of this entry »