“Charlie’s Angels” has performed so poorly for ABC that the show has already gone for the 21st century version of jumping the shark: the lesbian kiss. Just yesterday, Minka Kelly and Rachael Taylor kissed on set, but to no avail — today ABC has shut down production on the series.

A network representative says the show will continue to air on Thursdays, filling the 8 p.m. slot with an unknown number of episodes (four of the show’s eight shot episodes have aired). Last night’s hour showed some ratings growth for the first time, climbing a tenth of a point to 6 million viewers and a 1.3 adults 18-49 rating. But it wasn’t enough to reverse the show’s fate.

Well, yeah. Of course the remaining episodes are going to air. You don’t film Minka Kelly kissing a chick and then NOT air it. That wouldn’t be just bad business, it’s totally not cool, bro.

Six more weeks on the restraining order if she sees your shadow.

Before we get to a story about Minka Kelly getting sexually harassed on the set of “Charlie’s Angels,” keep in mind that this story comes from Radar via Star Magazine. We may as well be getting news from a class of 4th graders playing Telephone. With that caveat aside, a “Charlie’s Angels” crew member totally got fired for groping Minka Kelly.

The staffer came up behind the 31-year-old actress and slapped her across the rear end while holding a $100 bill in his hand on August 23, an insider tells Star.

“It seems like it was meant to be a joke, but clearly it was inappropriate. Minka was shocked and absolutely irate,” the on-set source reveals. “She was still fuming about it hours later.”

When the crew member tried to apologize to Minka the next day, the ex-girlfriend of Yankees star Derek Jeter slapped him in the face. Television executives had him removed from the production the next day, Star has learned. [Radar]

Aw, that’s not even a GOOD groping. If you’re gonna lose your job groping Minka Kelly, get your money’s worth, man. Give her the full Schwarzenegger, you know?

You guys are never going to believe this, but a lot of people who appear on television for a living put on nice clothes to go to the Emmys last night. I’ll let you get to clicking through the pictures in a moment, but here’s a general overlook:

• Before you ask: yes, there are pictures of Christina Hendricks’s mountainous cleavage.
• There will be absolutely no discussion of the cleavage displayed by Ariel Winter (Alex on “Modern Family”). She’s 13. If I’m gonna get arrested for something like that, it’ll be for Chloe Moretz.
• Because I am occasionally not a total chauvinist pervert, I have included pictures of handsome male actors. Props to my lady readers.
• As I log more and more years in the blogging game, I’m less enamored with the “This beautiful actress is ugly” thing that bloggers and commenters like to do. They’re famous actors; I would happily have sex with any of them. Even Melissa McCarthy. Even Peter Dinklage. Even — and this will gross some people out — Gwyneth Paltrow.

All right. Get to clickin’. Those pageviews feed me.

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MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT

Like Fox and NBC yesterday, ABC unveiled its new fall schedule this morning, revealing a total of 13 new shows (seven in the fall, six more at midseason). Highlights include:

• “Cougar Town” is being held until midseason, where it will move to Tuesdays and help fill the gap between “Dancing with the Stars” seasons. “Happy Endings” will take the post-”Modern Family” slot on Wednesdays.
• Some of the new shows that garnered the most buzz — “Apartment 23″ and “Good Christian Belles,” for example — are also being held until midseason.
• HottieWatch 2011: Minka Kelly in “Charlie’s Angels” will air on Thursdays before “Grey’s Anatomy”; Christina Ricci’s “Pan Am” will follow “Desperate Housewives” on Sundays.
• Tim Allen’s new sitcom, “Last Man Standing,” opens up a new Tuesday comedy block targeted towards male audiences.
• In a surprising move, ABC neglected to give a series order to “Single Female Lawyer.”

The full schedule is below. You can check out detailed synopses of the new shows here (scroll down to see them), if reading PR blurbs about TV shows you’re not going to watch four months from now is your thing.

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I don’t know who, exactly, would sit through three-plus hours of the Oscars, then watch the local news, THEN stay tuned for a late-night show on a Sunday night, but anyone who did was treated to a star-studded episode of “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” Specifically, Kimmel did a spoof of a workout infomercial called “humpilates” (like pilates, but with humping hahaha) that featured Scarlett Johansson, Minka Kelly, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Kelly Ripa, Emily Blunt, Eva Longoria, Sofia Vergara, and Lindsay Lohan. It’s kind of like last year’s “Handsome Men’s Club” sketch, minus the laughs.

Anyway, the whole 7-minute video is below, and I watched it all because I enjoy staring at women in exercise clothes. Aside from that, there are a couple highlights: ScarJo is particularly funny, Jessica Biel’s frantic humping is good for a laugh, and of course I mentioned the women in spandex. Other than that, it’s pretty much a lousy “SNL” sketch with famous beautiful actresses and Kelly Ripa.

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