‘Glee’ Somehow Got Even Gayer

03.16.11 Written by Matt

Not only did “Glee” debut its first two original songs on last night’s episode, it finally showed a kiss between Kurt (Chris Colfer) and Blaine (Darren Criss). It’s not the first gay kiss on the show, but it certainly was the most sensual, am I right fellas?

After months of hints and winks, fans of FOX’s hit musical finally got what they’ve been waiting for: The characters of Kurt and Blaine kissed for the first time. And it wasn’t a peck. It also wasn’t overtly sexual or desperate, it wasn’t rushed or clouded with turmoil, and it certainly wasn’t played for laughs, the way many kisses between men are on TV. It was perfect.

“It’s hard to overstate the significance of the kiss between Kurt and Blaine on ‘Glee’ last night,” [said] Michael Jensen, editor of Logo’s AfterElton.com. “Even better, it wasn’t the sort of kiss we saw back in the 1990s where the guys pecked each other on the lips — or worse, the camera cutaway — but this was a real kiss that hinted there is much more to come in this relationship. If we still needed proof how far gay characters have come on network TV, ‘Glee’ just gave it to us.” [PopEater]

They must mean gay male characters, because lesbian characters have always been awesome. Especially when the lesbian characters are really pretty femmes played by straight actresses, because they make such good role models for confused young women.

Come, join me for a trip back in time to 2005, when the second season of “The O.C.” featured Olivia Wilde as Alex, a minx who seduced Marissa (Mischa Barton) into a realm of sapphic pleasure. I show you these pictures solely in the interest of promoting tolerance and gay rights.

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MISCHA BARTON IS A HOOKER

01.05.10 Written by Matt

mischa-my-god

Following up on the resounding success of “The Beautiful Life.” big-time Hollywood star Mischa Barton will next star appear in a single episode of “Law & Order: SVU” as a prostitute named Gladys. Call the fire department, because Mischa’s career is TOO HOT!

Executive Producer Neal Baer is a personal fan of the actress… “She’s gone on to do amazing work both on TV and on the stage,” he says, adding that the cameo will “surprise” viewers. [Faded Youth]

The surprise for me is that the picture above isn’t Barton in character as a chubby strung-out hooker. That’s her in Hollywood last night, looking like a chubby strung-out hooker. You have to be impressed by her dedication to her craft. She’s a method actress for even the smallest roles. NOTE: roles must involve being on drugs.

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HA HA, GOOD ONE, ASHTON

12.18.09 Written by Matt

“The Beautiful Life” was a lousy show with bad acting and a boring lead actress that no one watched, so the CW pulled it after only two episodes (the season’s first cancellation, in fact). But creator/producer Ashton Kutcher is certain that the show didn’t get a fair shot, so he’s putting all five episodes of the show online at YouTube. Choo choo, here comes the fail train!beautiful-life-pilot

“What we feel like we’re doing is creating, in some ways, an industry first,” Kutcher told Reuters. “A show that couldn’t find its legs on television, we believe can find its legs on the Web.”[...]

YouTube and Kutcher are banking on the TV-level quality to attract viewers in a crowded Web landscape that has plenty of expensively made reruns, but not a lot of high-end original content. Kutcher reckons if he can increase the audience size on YouTube, then he might lure sponsors or others to finance more episodes solely for the Web. [...]

While the trend in content for the Web has called for short “webisodes” of 5- to 15-minutes, instead of longer shows, Kutcher believes “The Beautiful Life’s” production values will allow it to buck that trend. “I would bargain that people will be willing to sit a lot longer if the picture looks a lot better,” Kutcher said.

Not the plot. Not the writing. Not the characters. Not the acting. The picture quality is going to keep you watching a YouTube video for 40 minutes. So let’s put this to the test. Up top there is the pilot episode (I didn’t want anyone lost in the back story). Go ahead, sit there and try to watch this for forty minutes. I made it through 2:33. Or, as you might see, 2:31 plus two seconds of Mischa Barton.

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AND THE SEASON’S FIRST CANCELLATION IS…

09.28.09 Written by Matt

beautiful-life-canceled

I’m pleased to report that “The Beautiful Life,” the stillborn turd created by Ashton Kutcher and starring suicidal uninsurable mess Mischa Barton, has been canceled by the CW after just two episodes. The second episode garnered less than 1 million viewers, meaning that most of Kutcher’s 3.7 million followers on Twitter either don’t own TVs, follow him ironically, or are porn spambots.

“Production has ceased on ‘The Beautiful Life’ in New York. The show will be pulled from The CW’s schedule immediately,” CW said late Friday in an e-mail, surprising no one since it was a Take Out the Trash Day — the Friday before a holiday weekend…

“TBL” had looked DOA since since its unveiling one week earlier, attracting an anorexic audience of 1.4 million viewers. In its second broadcast, it fell to 1 million, and by the second half hour was down to under 1 mil. This despite the show’s rampant Ashton Kutcher-ness – he was an executive producer on the show and the drama series is semi-autobiographical, what with Kutcher being hot and from Iowa and having moved to New York City to become a male model as a way to get into acting, and the show being about a hot farm boy from Iowa who goes to New York City to become a male model to save the family farm. [WaPo]

Oh, that is delicious. I love it when horrible work is rewarded with spectacular failure. For some reason when I think about “The Beautiful Life,” I picture homeless guy who crapped himself sleeping in a crowded subway car. And the CW and everyone else is trying like hell to get as far away as possible.

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EVERYTHING’S COMING UP MISCHA

07.21.09 Written by Matt

mischa-barton-hospital

With all the news about Misca Barton’s hospitalization following allegations of everything from a three-day coke binge to being near suicide, the CW’s “The Beautiful Life” has postponed production and rededicated its resources to helping her.  Nah, just kidding.  They’ve added a new character to take her place.

Producers of the upcoming model-centric drama are quietly readying a Plan B in light of the former O.C. actress’ current medical woes. Said plan involves the addition of a new female character to fill the void left by Barton. While not a direct recast, the new recurring character — tentatively named Jane — would bear a striking resemblance to Barton’s experienced supermodel, Sonja Stone. Casting is underway.  [EW.com]

Ruh roh.  Not the best of news, Misch.  And shocking news, at that.  I always thought TV studios were more compassionate than that.    What’s next, child actors developing a drug problem and ending up hospitalized?

(photo: Barton at Cedars-Sinai hospital in Beverly Hills three days ago)

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