A handful of moms and gay men watched 17-year-old Teresa Scanlan of Nebraska get crowned Miss America on Saturday night, but the real star of the show was Miss Arkansas Alyse Eady. Her talent was ventriloquist yodeling. Ventriloquist. Yodeling. It’s surreal to see someone so attractive be so good at something so weird. I think I’m actually a little aroused by this. Of course, I’ve always had a thing for puppets.

[Vulture]

Awww, he’s so cute when he’s sleeping! I also admire the T. Rex’s taste in interior decorating. The room’s palette is so soothing! [RoboShark]

I’m sorry, I can’t even look at him. So, I guess Oprah really let Jay Leno have it. I can’t really bring myself to watch the clips, though. I don’t want to hear his voice; I don’t even want to see him squirm. I’m just tired of him existing. [WWTDD]

It’s okay, the world’s ending in 2012 anyway. Zac Efron and Miley Cyrus are the future of Hollywood. [Pajiba]

High standards for someone with a ‘porn star in training’ hat. “Jersey Shore’s” Snooki turned down an appearance on Jerry Springer’s show, allegedly deeming it “not classy” enough. In a related story, while I was driving through Connecticut last night (thanks for not salting or plowing I-84, cocks), I heard on the radio that JWOWW will be at a car show on February 5th. [Fark]

Oh hey! The Miss America Pageant still exists! It’s on this weekend. Need to know who to root for? Which is to say: which ones look slutty? Here’s a primer. [Gunaxin]

It’s cool, I’d rather the money go to hiring trashy women. Five awesomely low-budget strip club commercials. [NextRound]

Midgets and pit bulls? Midgets and pit bulls. [It's the Pits]

The Most Memorable Super Bowl Ads. I didn’t realize Bird and Jordan playing HORSE originally debuted during the Super Bowl. Shame on me for not realizing that. THAT’S VALUABLE TRIVA! I think I can remember it if I just get rid of my ability to solve algebra problems. Who needs that anyway? [Inside TV]

I’d see it if Prince performed ‘Batdance’ live. Whoa, there was a Batman musical? [Comics Alliance]