"I'm out."

I’ve got nothing against Broadway or musical theater, but I’m just not the right audience for the Tony Awards, which aired last night while I was tuned into “Game of Thrones” and the deciding game of the NBA Finals. But my flamboyant internet friends tell me that Neil Patrick Harris once again did an excellent job as host, and I wanted to post a couple of videos from the show to acknowledge his talent and charm. The Tonys may have a niche audience, but other awards shows could take some cues on how to conduct a live show. (Step 1: MORE GAYS!)

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65th Annual Tony Awards (CBS) — Neil Patrick Harris once again hosts Broadway’s biggest night, with Book of Mormon scheduled to win everything. Fun fact: the photo above is actually from the Oscars, when Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin hosted. I feel like if I didn’t disclose that now, some random A-hole would get all snooty about it in the comments and question my “journalistic” credentials.

Camelot (Starz, Friday) — Season finale. I don’t have Starz. Can anyone tell me if Eva Green showed her boobs this season?

The Glee Project (Oxygen, Sunday) — Series premiere. Theater kids, also known as “Gleeks” or “Gleetards” or theatards,” compete to win a seven-episode stint on “Glee.”

2011 Guys Choice Awards (Spike, Friday) — Jennifer Aniston accepts a “Decade of Hotness” award. I assume that decade was 1995-2005. Awww, why’d I say that? That was unnecessarily mean.

Keeping Up With the Kardashians (E!, Sunday) — Season premiere. I might not loathe this show so much if the title wasn’t so damn long. And also if they were all mute. Mute and terminally ill. Or maybe just dead. Amended: I might not loathe this show if it was time-lapse photography of the Kardashians’ rotting corpses.

Dr. Who (BBC America, Saturday) — Spring finale. I abbreviated the show’s name specifically to piss off British sci-fi geeks. God, that feels good.

My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding (TLC, Friday) — Series premiere. This was a huge hit in Britain. As I noted early this spring, TLC is not only airing the original version, but is also developing a show about American gypsies.

On the set of Amanda Seyfried's 'Black Hole Sun' remake

In his post-Oscars show, Jimmy Kimmel aired an informercial spoof for “humpilates,” which was painfully unfunny but notable because it featured actresses like Scarlett Johansson, Minka Kelly, Emily Blunt, and Jessicas Biel and Alba. For last night’s show, Kimmel rolled out a sequel for the diet to go with humpilates (video below). It’s somehow even less funny than the humpilates sketch, yet once again I watched the entire thing because it’s a non-stop stream of attractive actresses and models: January Jones, Rebecca Romijn, Anna Faris, Amanda Seyfried, Kerry Washington, Zoe Saldana, Kristen Bell, Heidi Klum, Marisa Miller, Erin Andrews, plus several of the women from the first sketch. Scarlett and Jessica Biel both have lines that almost made me chuckle, but not even an appearance from the great Neil Patrick Harris can salvage a real laugh from this. Woof.

I get it, Jimmy: you know more beautiful actresses I do. But if you’re going to parade them around on your show, can you at least do me the favor of getting out of the picture?

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ACTING!

Dexter (Showtime, Sunday) — Season 5 finale. Looks like we can talk about “Dexter” now that that “Boardwalk Empire” and “The Walking Dead” finished their seasons. Check out the preview below — Dexter’s totally busted, man.

Saturday Night Live (NBC) — Paul Rudd hosts with musical guest Paul McCartney. I could do without McCartney’s music, but Rudd is one of the most likable comedic actors on the planet.

The Amazing Race (CBS, Sunday) — Season finale. Season 17 will go down in history as the “Watermelon in the Face” season.

The Good Guys (Fox, Friday) — Season finale. Chris Klein brings his unnaturally smooth face and unparalleled acting skills to the show for a guest starring role.

Rebel Truce: The History of the Clash (BBC America) — About twice a year, I listen to London Calling from start to finish, and every time I get angry at myself for not listening to it more often. It’s a perfect album.

2010 Video Game Awards (Spike, Saturday) — Neil Patrick Harris hosts, because that’s what Neil Patrick Harris does best. Try to guess if Olivia Munn will present an award. Just try.

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The Creative Arts Emmys were handed out this weekend, and “creative arts” is a very polite way of saying “not important enough to televise.” I guess the Emmys that get shown on TV are for non-creative work. Wait, that’s the Daytime Emmys.

ANYWAY, winners included Betty White (Best Guest Actress in a Comedy, “Saturday Night Live”), Neil Patrick Harris (Best Guest Actor in a Comedy, “Glee”/Best Special Class Program, The Tony Awards), and Isaiah Mustafa (Best Commercial, “The Man Your Man Could Smell Like”). Other notable events:

• John Lithgow won Best Guest Actor in a Dramatic Series for his role as the Trinity Killer in “Dexter,” then thanked HBO instead of Showtime.
• Ann-Margret received the only standing ovation of the night when she collected the award for Best Guest Actress in a Drama for her appearance on “Law & Order: SVU.” Ice-T has a way of bringing out the best in his fellow thespians.
• Christina Hendricks was there.

Full list of winners here. It’s absolutely fascinating stuff. Woo, way to go Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony! That lighting really was amazing!