This is outstanding: a jack-o-lantern cut to resemble a scene from “Mystery Science Theatre 3000.” Not that I’m some grand connoisseur of jack-o-lanterns, but I think it’s pretty inventive to cut into the front and back of the pumpkin to add depth. Well done, pagan holiday pumpkin sculptor.

For anyone who was either too young, too lame, or too busy doing heroin to Mother Love Bone in the ’90s to be familiar with “MST3K”: you missed out. My love for this show will continue to my death bed. A guy and two robots making fun of old sci-fi movies was strangely addictive to me as a teenager, and it ended up being a huge influence in shaping my sense of humor. So I guess you have them to blame for all of this. *waves hands around website*

[flickr via @ToplessRobot]

Happy Birthday Brad! Signed, Everyone from the Message Board

Sci Fi Wire compiled a gallery of 17 cakes inspired by science fiction, and naturally five of them are related to “Battlestar Galactica.” That’s as many as Star Wars had, and more than “Star Trek” garnered. I’m telling you, BSG fans are freakin’ scary. They’re like Trekkies with an interest in politics. Politics, and decorative cake-making. You just don’t get that kind of crossover in sci fi fans usually. You should see them during Mardi Gras. The trinket in the king cake is a 12-sided die.

Vader: “Oh no you dih-int”

What with all the Blake Lively- and Christina Hendricks-related sexiness going on at the Emmys on Sunday, I missed this: Kristen Wiig wore a gown inspired by Darth Vader’s costume from Star Wars. Or maybe it’s just a coincidence that it looks similar, I don’t know. But I prefer to believe that Kristen Wiig, although very attractive in her own right, was just like, “You know what? I’m not Blake Lively, so let’s go straight for winning over the geek demographic.” And it works.

Of course, as a dress, it looks terrible. It might have a chance to look good if she ripped those sleeves off. But as an homage to Star Wars, I give her an A-plus. Now someone get me January Jones chained up in a metal bikini!

[via @ToplessRobot]

Good news, Harry Potter fans: a company has designed a wand that acts as a universal remote control. The Kymera Wand is a programmable dork-magnet that allows you to change the channel by flicking your wrist and adjust the volume by rotating the wand. I am not making this up.

For the best results, hold the wand lightly in the hand, steady and level, and make short, positive movements… Pause for a half second between gestures. With a little bit of practice you will easily be able to amaze and delight your friends and family, by working your incredible magic.

Of course, your friends would be even MORE amazed and delighted if you stopped masturbating to Lord of the Rings fan fiction and fetishized something besides children’s fantasy books. Seriously, ANY kind of hardcore weirdo is better than adults who think they’re wizards. Hell, at least furries get laid.

[Gizmodo via Topless Robot]

A senior analyst at Piper Jaffray predicts that the company will enter the television market by the year 2011 with “an Apple-branded television set with digital video recording and home media functions (music, movies, games, interactive TV) built-in.”  It will also, no doubt, make owners feel superior to people who don’t feel like paying so much for a TV.

The timeline for product release, according to Gene Munster:

1. A new Apple TV set-top box within the next few months, with a TV imput and DVR built in. “With the popularity of ad-based internet TV (Hulu.com) and subscription models (Netflix’s Watch Instantly), we believe a-la-carte (iTunes) video purchases have lost share against other video models in recent months. As such, we believe Apple is exploring a subscription-based offering for its TV content in iTunes.”
2. An iTunes TV Pass within the next year. “Apple could leverage its deep library of content with many network and cable channel content owners to provide unlimited access to a sub-library of its TV shows for a standard monthly fee ($30 to $40 per month). Such a product would effectively replace a consumer’s monthly cable bill (~$85/month) and offer access to current and older episodes of select shows on select channels.”
3. An Apple television set within the next two years that could wirelessly sync with iPods, iPhones and Macs. “Such a device would command a premium among a competitive field of budget TVs; we believe Apple could differentiate itself with software that makes home entertainment simple and solves a pain point for consumers (complicated TV and component systems).”

You know, I enjoy Apple products, but I’m hesitant to be enthusiastic about this because it’s just one more thing for Mac snobs to be pretentious about.  Yeah, that’s great that you love your computer so much, can you at least try not to look down on me for not having an extra $600 to spend on a laptop?  Thanks, now take that sleek white design and jam it into your iHole.

Anyone tuned into the Internet knows that xkcd is one of the best webcomics around (presented as evidence: someone is wrong on the Internet and the fruit graph), and their most recent effort is another geek-chic stab at a popular meme, Horatio Caine’s one-liners that begin almost every episode of ‘CSI: Miami.”  (YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!)

Sorry I don’t have a joke here; I just like to point out whenever the Internet adds something to the canon of David Caruso’s low-brow brilliance, even if it’s just a mathematics pun.  I guess I don’t have much else to… add.