TLC is actually making something I don’t outright despise: a dating show called “Geek Love” in which sci-fi enthusiasts engage in speed dating at places like Comic-Con, where the pool of hapless, socially inept virgins is unusually deep.

The network has ordered Geek Love, a project that follows a speed-dating service at nerd-drawing events like Comic-Con. TLC greenlit two half-hour specials that will air next month and plans to make the project a full-fledged series if the specials draw large enough ratings. [EW]

EW also has an exclusive video of highlights, which I absolutely recommend watching. It starts with a guy touting his Chewbacca call, then features the girl in the inset picture saying, “It’s hard to find someone in the outside world you like because it’s really hard to find someone who understands you.” I can’t imagine why that might be.

Lego Star Wars (Cartoon Network, Friday) — Ummm, is it wrong that I think this looks kinda good? I’ve put a preview for it at the bottom of the post — it’s like a more serious version of the “Robot Chicken” spoofs, but with LEGO characters. Shut up, I played with LEGO a lot growing up.

Torchwood: Miracle Day (Starz, Friday) — Yes, I’m deliberately tailoring this weekend preview to win the approval of geeks. Acknowledge my pandering!

Attack of the Show (G4, Friday) — This is the one time of year where “AotS” is actually relevant: when it reports from Comic-Con in San Diego.

Breaking Bad (AMC, Sunday) — *breathes into paper bag*

NTSF:SD:SUV:: (Adult Swim, Sunday) — I neglected to mention that the series premiere of this crime procedural spoof — and logical companion to “Children’s Hospital” — aired last night, so I’m putting this here with the hope that I remember to DVR one of the two replays on Sunday night.

Same Name (CBS, Sunday) — Series premiere. Celebrities meet people who have the same (or almost same) name. In the premiere, David Hasselhoff meets Texas landscaper David Haseloff.

The Hooters 2011 International Swimsuit Pageant (Spike, Friday) — Important.

Top Gear (History, Sunday) — Series premiere. This is the American version, with those guys. You know, whatstheirfaces.

Entourage (HBO, Sunday) — Season premiere. My, but it feels good to bury this at the bottom of the post. ICYMI: the ten douchiest moments in “Entourage” history. I also enjoyed Videogum’s excellent response to the B.S. blind item about the “Entourage” cast saving a girl from being raped.

Comic-Con stories rule the headlines right now, so I figured this week’s Corgi Friday should be the geekiest corgis I could find: cosplay corgis! The slideshow that follows is the Internet’s finest collection of corgis in cosplay costumes, ranging from fantasy to comics to horror to video games to anime. Corgi cosplay: it’s just like human cosplay, but cuter. And with better breath.

(All pictures via MyCorgi unless otherwise noted.)

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This is a corgi named Yoshi dressed as Yoshi from Nintendo games like Super Mario World and Mario Kart.

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This is a corgi named Kali dressed as Epona from Legend of Zelda (Link is behind her).

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Cowboy Bebop was a late-’90s anime with a lovable corgi named Ein. (You may remember it being mentioned in my interview with Lobster Dog’s owner.)

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The trusty steed seems to have thrown his rider.

Not technically cosplay, but certainly inspired artwork.

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With Comic-Con fast approaching, geeks are assembling their homemade cosplay costumes, and entertainment companies are hiring attractive women to wear sexy, better-made costumes and stand around while sweaty weirdos eyeball them. In the fake PSA below, “Big Bang Theory” actress Kaley Cuoco advises these women against wearing the all-time awesomest cosplay costume, Slave Leia. The video’s directed by “Chuck” star Zachary Levi, and I can’t be sure but one of the Slave Leias looks an awful lot like his costar Yvonne Strahovski.

Anyway, it’s a fun little video even though I disagree with it. A Slave Leia costume is ALWAYS a welcome sight on a good-looking woman. The outfit is just so versatile: perfect as evening wear or workout attire, and always guaranteed to impress clients at important business meetings. Every hot chick should own at least two, so that they always have one ready to wear while the other is at the cleaners/metallurgy shop.

Via Break. Bonus points for creative use of Nyan Cat:

In late June, an Oklahoma geek named Kaitlyn Iadevaia was the victim of nerdy crime when thieves stole the TARDIS bus stop Kaitlyn had built with her father (the TARDIS is the time-traveling phone booth employed by the protagonist in British dork favorite “Doctor Who”). News of the crime circulated around reddit, and do-gooding redditor Anthony Pego spearheaded an effort to build and deliver a new dorky “Doctor Who” bus stop for Kaitlyn. Watch the news report (which got Kaitlyn’s name wrong) below. The whole thing would be totally adorable if I didn’t have these urges to shove everyone involved inside a giant locker.

Fun fact: This isn’t Kaitlyn’s first brush with Internet fame. She was also the recipient of NBA star Blake Griffin’s old cell phone number.

[via badtvblog and theuniblog]

Pictured here is Dave Forbes in a video coat of his own design as it plays an episode of “The Simpsons,” “the pinnacle of modern television entertainment.” There’s still some work to be done — the sleeves are unfinished, and the wires will be hidden from sight — but he plans to wear it to Burning Man this summer, where it will no doubt transfix people who are tripping balls. Be sure to watch the video below. More from Gizmodo:

Forbes is the proud owner of a 160×120 LED video coat that puts Joseph’s Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat to shame…

It’s a wearable NTSC television made of circuit boards and LED flex boards hot-glued to a standard lab coat. It accepts input from an iPod and can display text, images, or video. It even has knobs to adjust the color, brightness of the media. The whole creation is powered by battery and lasts about an hour.

Whoa, hey. No need to besmirch the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. It was red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and peach and ruby and olive and violet and fawn and lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and grey and purple and white and pink and orange thousands of years before LED technology.

And yes, that’s a joke based on Tim Rice lyrics from over 40 years ago. I’m trying to appeal to an older, gayer audience.

[more here]

The History Channel is presently casting for a show called “Full Metal Joust,” a reality competition that will take accomplished horse riders and see who can be the best jouster. It’s just as timely and relevant as taking a bunch of engineers and seeing who can build the best trebuchet. Wait, no. The trebuchet thing is cooler.

If you are a skilled horseback rider and have the heart of a warrior, then you might have what it takes to become America’s first Full Metal Jouster and win the $100,000 grand prize.

This hard-hitting competition will recreate the raw, crushing force of 13th Century jousting battles by arming 16 fierce competitors with lances, 200 pounds of armor and a 2,000-pound war horse — all charging through an arena with one goal in mind… to become champion. [US Eventing]

Alternate title: “America’s Next Top Ren Faire Hero.” Sounds crappy, but I’ll watch on one condition: every episode ends with a loser decapitating his horse.

(thanks for the tip, Mo Charlo)

Comic-Con is next month, and what used to be a small collection of nerds trading comic books is now a thriving corporate parasite that feeds on the excitement of the sweaty and unshaven. Expect this kind of enthusiasm every time I write about the convention.

Anyway, three networks — HBO, Fox, and Starz — released the schedules for their panels today, and I’ve got the schedule below along with some of my typically breezy commentary. Long story short: HBO will showcase “Game of Thrones” and “True Blood,” Fox is sending a gazillion shows, and Starz is something that exists to some people.

Thursday, July 21
Napoleon Dynamite: Jon Heder, Tina Majorino, Efren Ramirez, Jon Gries, Sandy Martin, Diedrich Bader and EP Mike Scully. A sneak preview of the animated series to be screened.

Game of Thrones: Author George R.R. Martin will moderate the panel with attendees including David Benioff, D.B. Weiss, Emilia Clarke, Peter Dinklage, Kit Harington, Jason Momoa and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau. The panel marks the freshman series first time at Comic-Con.

Awake: The first episode will be screened, with Howard Gordon, Kyle Killen and Jason Isaacs attending.

I’m not sure why “Awake” is on this list, as it’s an NBC show. Nevertheless, the buzz is already mounting for the midseason series, with everyone at TV Squad itching to see more.

As for the “Game of Thrones” panel, I’d like to see Martin moderate it from a massive floating dais. That dude’s got the bulk of a Harkonnen. These nerds know what I’m talkin’ ’bout, right?

Friday, July 22
Bones: Panel discussion with Hart Hanson, Stephen Nathan, David Boreanaz, Emily Deschanel as well as the stars of its spinoff, The Finder.

Bob’s Burgers: Season 2 clip to be presented, along with Q&A with Loren Bouchard, Jim Dauterive, H. Jon Benjamin, John Roberts, Dan Mintz, Eugene Mirman and Kristen Schaal.

True Blood: Attendees include Alan Ball, Anna Paquin, Stephen Moyer, Sam Trammell, Ryan Kwanten, Rutina Wesley, Kevin Alejandro, Kristin Bauer van Straten, Nelsan Ellis, Joe  Manganiello and Deborah Ann Woll. The panel will be the show’s fourth Comic-Con appearance.

Torchwood: Miracle Day: John Barrowman, Eve Myles, Bill Pullman, Mekhi Phifer, Alexa Havins, Lauren Ambrose and Jane Espenson will attend.

Spartacus: Vengeance: New Spartacus Liam McIntyre will be introduced alongside fellow panelists Lucy Lawless, Dustin Clare, Manu Bennett, Katrina Law and Steven S. DeKnight.

I suppose I might enjoy the “Bob’s Burgers” panel if I didn’t have to wait in line to see it. I hate lines. I won’t go to a bar is there’s a line to get in. I get homicidal every time I go to the post office. And I damn sure wouldn’t spend a July weekend in San Diego standing in line — not when I could be at the beach or getting drunk playing frisbee golf in Balboa Park.

Saturday, July 23

Terra Nova: The first episode will be screened with Stephen Lang, Rene Echevarria and Brannon Braga set to attend.

“Uh, we added some more dinosaurs. You guys like dinosaurs, right?”

Futurama: Matt Groening, David X. Cohen, Billy West, Katey Sagal, John DiMaggio and Maurice LaMarche to attend with a sneak preview of the show reincarnated as Japanese anime and a preview of the new season to be screened. Bill Morrison will moderate.

The Simpsons: Matt Groening, Al Jean, Rob Lazebnik, Matt Warburton, Mike Anderson and Tom Gammill will be in attendance.

Family Guy: Alex Borstein, Seth Green, Adam West, Mark Hentemann, Steve Callaghan and Kara Vallow will screen a sneak preview of Stewie Goes for a Drive, featuring voice guest star Ryan Reynolds.

American Dad: A preview of the Season 7 premiere will be screened, featuring guest star Cee Lo Green, followed by a panel discussion with Wendy Schaal, Scott Grimes, Rachael MacFarlane, Dee Bradley Baker, Mike Barker, Matt Weitzman and Kara Vallow.

Sunday, July 24
Glee: Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk and stars of the musical hit will air a musical sneak preview at never-before-seen footage and behind-the-scenes secrets about the series.

Allen Gregory: Jonah Hill, David Goodman, Andrew Mogel and Jarrad Paul will be joined by the voice-cast for a sneak preview of the animated series.

The Cleveland Show: A look at its Die Hard parody will be screened, followed by a Q&A with Mike Henry, Sanaa Lathan, Kevin Michael Richardson, Reagan Gomez, Rich Appel and Kara Vallow. [THR; THR]

That looks great, but could Fox maybe make some more animated comedies?

About as sad as a screen cap gets.

Jay Maynard, better known on the Internet as Tron Guy, appeared on “America’s Got Talent” last night when the show rolled through Houston (video below). And it’s hard out there for a cosplay pimp, because the crowd and the judges were BRUTAL on him. Sharon Osborne buzzed her “X” as soon as he started talking. Then the crowd turned on him. Piers Morgan buzzed him when he started over. Howie Mandel was the only one who tried to give Tron Guy a chance, and I think he hit the buzzer for Tron Guy’s safety, because the crowd was getting ugly. Another ten to 15 seconds and they would have started throwing batteries at him. Or whatever Texas crowds use instead of batteries. Horseshoes? Bullets?

Anyway, lessons learned: 1. Saying “I’m an internet celebrity” is never a good thing, and 2. Being fat and wearing spandex is not a talent. Not even in Texas. Especially not in Texas.

[BuzzFeed]

Scripps-Howard National Spelling Bee (ESPN) — When I lived in the sports blogosphere, I was always surprised by how much sports fans loved watching nerdy Indian kids spell obscure words. Nevertheless, as a former undersized nerdy spelling champ, it’s nice to see the word dorks get their moment in the sun.

Love Bites (NBC) — Series premiere. Josh Kurp went over the series’ pitfalls in our Summer Preview, but here’s a recap: the hour-long comedy was scheduled for a fall 2010 premiere, then Jordana Spiro dropped out to stay on “My Boys” and star Becki Newton, — whose character was supposed to be a virgin — got pregnant. No wonder the episode order got dropped from 13 to nine.

Children’s Hospital (Cartoon Network) — Season premiere. I wish Adult Swim would just hurry up and get its own channel; I’m tired of making the distinction between Cartoon Network and the cool part of Cartoon Network. Also: more shows should be 12 minutes long and aired without commercial breaks. Like, say, “American Idol” results shows.

NY Ink (TLC) — Series premiere. Just as Kat von D left “Miami Ink” to star in “LA Ink,” so too has Ami James, who despite the name is not a woman but actually a tough Israeli dude.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Jason Sudeikis and Piers Morgan on Kimmel; Dick Van Dyke on Ferguson; Tim Tebow (!) on “The Daily Show”; reruns.