Pictured here is Dave Forbes in a video coat of his own design as it plays an episode of “The Simpsons,” “the pinnacle of modern television entertainment.” There’s still some work to be done — the sleeves are unfinished, and the wires will be hidden from sight — but he plans to wear it to Burning Man this summer, where it will no doubt transfix people who are tripping balls. Be sure to watch the video below. More from Gizmodo:

Forbes is the proud owner of a 160×120 LED video coat that puts Joseph’s Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat to shame…

It’s a wearable NTSC television made of circuit boards and LED flex boards hot-glued to a standard lab coat. It accepts input from an iPod and can display text, images, or video. It even has knobs to adjust the color, brightness of the media. The whole creation is powered by battery and lasts about an hour.

Whoa, hey. No need to besmirch the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. It was red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and peach and ruby and olive and violet and fawn and lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and grey and purple and white and pink and orange thousands of years before LED technology.

And yes, that’s a joke based on Tim Rice lyrics from over 40 years ago. I’m trying to appeal to an older, gayer audience.

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The History Channel is presently casting for a show called “Full Metal Joust,” a reality competition that will take accomplished horse riders and see who can be the best jouster. It’s just as timely and relevant as taking a bunch of engineers and seeing who can build the best trebuchet. Wait, no. The trebuchet thing is cooler.

If you are a skilled horseback rider and have the heart of a warrior, then you might have what it takes to become America’s first Full Metal Jouster and win the $100,000 grand prize.

This hard-hitting competition will recreate the raw, crushing force of 13th Century jousting battles by arming 16 fierce competitors with lances, 200 pounds of armor and a 2,000-pound war horse — all charging through an arena with one goal in mind… to become champion. [US Eventing]

Alternate title: “America’s Next Top Ren Faire Hero.” Sounds crappy, but I’ll watch on one condition: every episode ends with a loser decapitating his horse.

(thanks for the tip, Mo Charlo)

Comic-Con is next month, and what used to be a small collection of nerds trading comic books is now a thriving corporate parasite that feeds on the excitement of the sweaty and unshaven. Expect this kind of enthusiasm every time I write about the convention.

Anyway, three networks — HBO, Fox, and Starz — released the schedules for their panels today, and I’ve got the schedule below along with some of my typically breezy commentary. Long story short: HBO will showcase “Game of Thrones” and “True Blood,” Fox is sending a gazillion shows, and Starz is something that exists to some people.

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About as sad as a screen cap gets.

Jay Maynard, better known on the Internet as Tron Guy, appeared on “America’s Got Talent” last night when the show rolled through Houston (video below). And it’s hard out there for a cosplay pimp, because the crowd and the judges were BRUTAL on him. Sharon Osborne buzzed her “X” as soon as he started talking. Then the crowd turned on him. Piers Morgan buzzed him when he started over. Howie Mandel was the only one who tried to give Tron Guy a chance, and I think he hit the buzzer for Tron Guy’s safety, because the crowd was getting ugly. Another ten to 15 seconds and they would have started throwing batteries at him. Or whatever Texas crowds use instead of batteries. Horseshoes? Bullets?

Anyway, lessons learned: 1. Saying “I’m an internet celebrity” is never a good thing, and 2. Being fat and wearing spandex is not a talent. Not even in Texas. Especially not in Texas.

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Scripps-Howard National Spelling Bee (ESPN) — When I lived in the sports blogosphere, I was always surprised by how much sports fans loved watching nerdy Indian kids spell obscure words. Nevertheless, as a former undersized nerdy spelling champ, it’s nice to see the word dorks get their moment in the sun.

Love Bites (NBC) — Series premiere. Josh Kurp went over the series’ pitfalls in our Summer Preview, but here’s a recap: the hour-long comedy was scheduled for a fall 2010 premiere, then Jordana Spiro dropped out to stay on “My Boys” and star Becki Newton, — whose character was supposed to be a virgin — got pregnant. No wonder the episode order got dropped from 13 to nine.

Children’s Hospital (Cartoon Network) — Season premiere. I wish Adult Swim would just hurry up and get its own channel; I’m tired of making the distinction between Cartoon Network and the cool part of Cartoon Network. Also: more shows should be 12 minutes long and aired without commercial breaks. Like, say, “American Idol” results shows.

NY Ink (TLC) — Series premiere. Just as Kat von D left “Miami Ink” to star in “LA Ink,” so too has Ami James, who despite the name is not a woman but actually a tough Israeli dude.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Jason Sudeikis and Piers Morgan on Kimmel; Dick Van Dyke on Ferguson; Tim Tebow (!) on “The Daily Show”; reruns.