Danger Guerrero emailed me about the embedded video below: “This is a clip from ABC news last night featuring researchers and scientists in China putting on huge panda costumes to go interact with baby pandas. I don’t think it needs more context than that.”

He’s right, too — this is best enjoyed at face value. It was DEFINITELY worth ABC’s money to send a news crew to the other side of the planet for a two-minute story with a reporter in a panda suit. Alert the Pulitzer committee.

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One day after NBC owned headlines thanks to Bob Costas’s exclusive, painful-to-watch interview with accused child rapist Jerry Sandusky, CBS had its own exclusive “get” with Mike McQueary, the Penn State assistant coach who, according to a grand jury, witnessed Sandusky having his way with a boy in the shower in 2002 and reported it to head coach Joe Paterno. CBS sent top sideline reporter Armen Keteyianto to interview McQueary, who gleaned every possible tidbit from him in an efficient, workmanlike 24 seconds. The transcript in entirety:

Keteyian: When do you think you’ll be ready to talk?
McQueary: The whole process has to play out. I just don’t have anything else to say.
Keteyian: Describe your emotions right now.
McQueary: All over the place, just kind of shaken.
Keteyian: Crazy?
McQueary: Crazy.
Keteyian: You said like what, Mike?
McQueary: Like a snow globe.
Keteyian: Like a snow globe?
McQueary: Yes sir.

BOOM! Nailed it. Go ahead and blow the smoke off your finger guns, AK, then sit back and wait for that Pulitzer to arrive in the mail. You earned it today.

Bob Costas landed a phone interview with former Penn State coordinator and alleged child rapist Jerry Sandusky that aired on last night’s “Rock Center,” and all I can say is WOW Sandusky should NOT be giving interviews. He folded like a cheap suit.

Costas: Mr. Sandusky, there is a 40-count indictment, the grand jury report contains specific details. There are multiple accusers, multiple eyewitnesses to various aspects of the abuse. A reasonable person says, “Where there is this much smoke, there must be plenty of fire.” What do you say?
Sandusky: I say that I am innocent of those charges.
Costas: Innocent? Completely innocent and falsely accused in every aspect?
Sandusky: Well, I could say that, you know, I have done some of those things. I have horsed around with kids. I have showered after workouts. I have hugged them and I have touched their legs, without intent of sexual contact. But, um… uh … So, if you look at it that way … uh … there are things that … that … uh … wouldn’t … uh, you know, would be accurate.

Even worse is how long it took for Sandusky to say that he’s not sexually attracted to young boys. It’s barely even a denial.

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It’s a pretty slow day in TV news, so I’d like to turn your attention to the story that’s all over the Internet today: the Zanesville, Ohio residence of Terry Thompson, who last night released dozens of exotic wild animals from the cages on his property and then shot himself. Because the animals included dangerous animals like grizzly and black bears, lions, tigers, and leopards, schools canceled classes and the postal service limited its delivery today.

The most recent update says that only two of the estimated 51 animals (a monkey and a wolf) are unaccounted for; most were shot and killed by sheriff’s deputies, although a spokesman claimed that tranquilizers were used when possible. Oh, and then there’s this, proof that Ohio is the Ohio-est state in the nation:

Ohio has some of the nation’s weakest restrictions on exotic pets and among the highest number of injuries and deaths caused by them.

By the way, I’ve been to this real-life Cougar Town. A girl I dated about ten years ago was from southeastern Ohio, and her mother and brother lived in Zanesville. She went to college in Minnesota, then she moved to Europe and has lived there ever since. I like to think that Ohio was a bigger impetus for that than I was.

More importantly, in a Warming Glow exclusive, I’ve obtained the first photo of the grizzly that was shot:

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Last night on ABC’s “World News Now,” anchor Dan Kloeffler was reporting how actor Zachary Quinto came out of the closet in a magazine interview. Kloeffler then nonchalantly said that he would lift his ban against dating actors to consider Quinto, and the way he kind of stumbles through that sentence you can tell that it’s a huge admission for him to make on-air (see video below). Kloeffler later wrote:

I’ve never shared that I’m gay on-air, even though I’ve been out to my family, friends and co-workers for years. In fact, an old boyfriend – now best friend – has always given me a hard time about not doing so. But for the same reason that Zach decided to come out, I too, no longer wanted to hide this part of my life.

I’m all for this, and not just because I enjoy milk bukkake GIFs. I understand that it can be scary to come out because there’s a big chunk of the country that’s still homophobic. But there’s no way to change that bigotry unless people with fame and influence demonstrate that they can be gay and have normal lives and not get AIDS all over everybody. Lookin’ at you, aging Christians in the Midwest. Stop making us look bad.

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