You guys are never going to believe this, but a lot of people who appear on television for a living put on nice clothes to go to the Emmys last night. I’ll let you get to clicking through the pictures in a moment, but here’s a general overlook:

• Before you ask: yes, there are pictures of Christina Hendricks’s mountainous cleavage.
• There will be absolutely no discussion of the cleavage displayed by Ariel Winter (Alex on “Modern Family”). She’s 13. If I’m gonna get arrested for something like that, it’ll be for Chloe Moretz.
• Because I am occasionally not a total chauvinist pervert, I have included pictures of handsome male actors. Props to my lady readers.
• As I log more and more years in the blogging game, I’m less enamored with the “This beautiful actress is ugly” thing that bloggers and commenters like to do. They’re famous actors; I would happily have sex with any of them. Even Melissa McCarthy. Even Peter Dinklage. Even — and this will gross some people out — Gwyneth Paltrow.

All right. Get to clickin’. Those pageviews feed me.

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It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX) — Season 6 premiere. It’s the first season that the show has been shot on HD, which is great news for all the Danny DeVito fetishists out there. If you’ve never watched the show, then now is the time to put some wine in a can and find FX on your cable box. It’s one of the funniest shows on television.

The League (FX) — Season premiere. The first season was a criminally short six episodes, so I’m hoping Season 2 gives us a fuller run through the NFL season. In tonight’s premiere, the guys go to Las Vegas for their draft, where they meet guest star Chad Ochocinco.

The Apprentice (NBC) — Season premiere. It’s regular-people “Apprentice,” not the celebrity kind. And who the hell is still watching “The Apprentice”? Is it you? You, Grandma?

Vampire Diaries (CW) — I brushed over the season premiere of this last week because of football (same with “Nikita”), but I’ll give credit where it’s due: the CW employs some fantastically attractive people (image via).

Project Runway (Lifetime) — Dude, there are still NINE designers left? And the episodes are 90 minutes long? This season of “Project Runway” is longer than a NASCAR season. And yes, I believe that’s the first recorded instance of “Project Runway” being compared to NASCAR.

This is the trailer for the second season of the CW’s “Vampire Diaries,” also known as “Twilight for Poor Kids” and not to be confused with “Twilight for Sluts” (HBO’s “True Blood”). If I remember correctly from last year, two vampire brothers fall in love with the same girl who looks like the same girl they both fell in love with, like, 200 years earlier. It’s kind of hard to keep everything straight because all of the characters look exactly the same. The vampire brothers are both blandly attractive, and the only reason one of them might stand out is if you remember Ian Somerhalder as Boone from “Lost.” The girls are both pretty brunettes with long hair, and I can’t tell which one’s Elena and which one’s Katherine. Sure, it doesn’t help that I don’t care, but I still feel like I’m in the streets of Tokyo.

[PopWrap]

This story is kinda last week’s news, but it involves attractive young actresses getting arrested for baring their breasts to strangers, which in my mind makes it still newsworthy. Hot handcuffed tit-flashing starlets are precisely why I got into this business.

Anyway, “The Vampire Diaries” opened with CW’s highest-rated series premiere last week, and actresses Candice Accola, Kayla Ewell, Sara Canning, and Nina Dobrev (clockwise from top left, not that it matters) all celebrated by getting booked for disorderly conduct:

[The actresses] were arrested and charged after police said the actresses were dangling off a Georgia overpass and flashing drivers. Several drivers called 911 on Aug. 22 to report seeing the young women flashing drivers on I-75 from the side of the Rumble Road overpass just north of Macon. The women told Monroe County authorities they were just filming for the show. [WSBTV]

Really? People actually called freakin’ 911 to report tits? How does that 911 call go? “Oh God! It’s terrible! Hot, nubile women are flashing me! There are BARE BREASTS above the highway! I’m dangerously aroused! Oh God, send all the police and ambulances you have!  THE HUMANITY!!!!!”

[via a lot of places, but The Daily What specifically]