American Idol (Fox) — There’s still no word whether hospitalized favorite Crystal Bowersox (pictured) will be able to perform tonight. If she can’t, the show will only drop one female contestant next week instead of two. You know what medical procedure I recommend for her? A caucasian dredlockotomy. Get well, you disgusting hippie.

Real World (MTV) — An ” incident” makes the roommates consider kicking Ty out of the house. Speaking of which, this article reminded me of the time that  Beth called David a “rapist” for pulling the covers off Tami in the Los Angeles season back in the ’90s. What a bitch.

Modern Family (ABC) — I just wanted to point out that ABC is airing re-runs of “Modern Family” at 8:00 p.m. (the new episode is at 9:00). Good thing they finally got “Better Off Ted” off the air!

Psych (USA) — Some modern sci-fi luminaries in this one. Guest stars include Michael Hogan (“Battlestar Galactica’s” Col. Saul Tigh) and Northwestern alumna/Seven-of-Nine from “Star Trek: Voyager” Jeri Ryan. I totally would have Borg-ed her back in the day.

Oprah Winfrey Oscar Special (ABC) — Big-name actors and Oscar nominees interview each other! Oh my God, I think I’m ovulating!

Tosh.0 (Comedy Central) — Featured: Epic Beard Man. Yes, I will watch.

Nip/Tuck – (FX) — Series finale. Oops, I meant to give this top billing tonight, as the groundbreaking cable series closes with its 100th episode. But then I forgot about it, and I had already downloaded the Bowersox picture, so too bad. However, if you want to reminisce, the L.A. Times has a nice eulogy for the show.

RAWR! Mario Lopez rocked this super-sexy lingerie and leather bustier on “Nip/Tuck,” and I can barely control myself. He really puts the boy in boy shorts. [Socialite Life]

Jeremy Piven has a great sense of humor. He sent a “cease and desist” letter to the people who made a comedic play about the mercury poisoning that led to him quitting “Speed-the-Plow.” [Page Six]

Awkward Moments in Facebook. This made me laugh. Partially because I’m terrified that my mom just joined Facebook. Say goodbye to drunk status updates. [College Humor]

The Kanye West/”CSI: Miami” comic. My favorite four panels on the Internet deliver the requisite pun. It could use Kanye interrupting the comic, though. [Kanyegate]

First episode of “Bored to Death” is available online. You can watch it for free at Amazon. No spoilers, please: I don’t have time to watch it until later tonight. [Amazon]

‘Jay Does Right What Conan Does Wrong (and Vice Versa)’ A clear-eyed look at the late-night landscape, focusing on Leno and Conan. It’s pretty depressing. — probably because I can’t really disagree with most of what’s said. [Vanity Fair]

(p.s. Sorry about the delay this afternoon.)

I’ll be honest: there are plenty of relevant TV stories out on the Internet today, but nothing is particularly inspiring to write about, so here’s Katee Sackhoff (aka Starbuck from “Battlestar Galactica”) in the August edition of Esquire UK (via bohemea).  More like Katee Whack-off, amirite?!?!?  Ahem.  Anyway, she’s slightly more glamorous in low-cut dresses than when she’s chomping on cigars and punching people — which is sexy in its own right.

Of course, avid TV watchers know that Sackhoff – who will join the cast of “24″ next season — is no stranger to being attractive, as she was also in a couple episodes of the fifth season of “Nip/Tuck” (a role taken over by Rose McGowan).  Screencaps included as evidence, plus there’s a video clip here.  Because I’m cool like that.  Cool like the drunk uncle who sneaks you booze and porn.  When you’re eight.