‘Man beats off hungry bear.’ I suppose a handjob is an acceptable substitute for a sandwich. [BuzzFeed]
It’s a done deal. Michael Ausiello is reporting that Neil Patrick Harris will, indeed, host the Emmys this September. That’s good news, as I don’t see how I could get away with not watching them. [EW.com]
You can make pot-infused vodka??? Ten weed recipes for the holiday weekend. The founding fathers grew weed, man. It’s, like, patriotic to get high. [Hail Mary Jane]
Lisa, it’s your birthday. Happy Birthday, Lisa. “The Simpsons” will re-air “Stark Raving Dad,” the episode in which Michael Jackson lent his voice to a mental patient. It will be the first time Fox has aired the episode since 1993. Meanwhile, it’s been played in syndication a good 600 times. [NYT Media Decoder]
Bones heal, chicks dig scars, and the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world. Celebrate America’s birthday by watching Evel Knievel jump his motorcycle over stuff. [Best Week Ever]
Speaking of birthdays… Olivia Munn turns 27 today. Watch William Shatner call her a whore. [OliviaMunn.com]
