That jovial, rednecked fellow you see above is not Larry the Cable Guy; it’s an impersonator who “not only looks like Larry the Cable Guy, he has captured the entertainer’s voice and mannerisms, as well.” Any well-known celebrity from Roseanne to Larry David can be impersonated by dozens of actors and actresses online, and then hired by you, for only hundreds of dollars! Win-win. So, the next time you need someone to entertain your corporate event or gathering, why not give Fake Alan Alda or Terrifying Sarah Jessica Parker a shot?

Here are some of my favorite TV impersonators. And if you decide to hire Black-and-White Tim Allen, tell ‘em Warming Glow sent you and they’ll throw in a Wilson for free!

Celebrity Impersonators

On Celebrity Impersonators’ photo page, where you can see what the impressionists look like, there’s a description of what the actors can do, and Shania Twain’s name is mentioned in literally every sentence:

“Entertain with celebrity impersonator Jennifer Lopez, Shania Twain, Ricky Martin and Backstreet Boys live! The uncanny appearances of our celebrity impersonators and celebrity look-a-likes will make you the “Entertainer of the Year” like Shania Twain. Reserve celebrity impersonators like the sexy Jennifer Lopez or Shania Twain for your surprise birthday parties, catered events, conventions and live music entertainment. For professional celebrity impersonators like Shania Twain, Ricky Martin and Backstreet Boys, book celebrity impersonators before tickets sell out. We provide grammy-winning Shania Twain shows with celebrity look-a-likes and celebrity sound-a-likes for: corporate events, location entertainment, special events, and occasions like weddings, grand openings, holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, Shania Twain theme shows casinos and fairs. Our Shania Twain, Jennifer Lopez, Ricky Martin are a hit at celebrity impersonators performances at resorts, cruises and advertising campaigns.”

Sadly, Shania Twain isn’t much of a TV personality, so my “Shania Twain theme show” idea will have to wait for another post, and I’ll have to settle for the following:

He looks like an extra from a film “Mystery Science Theater 3000″ would spoof.

For a KILLER party. When you want to MURDER your guests with fun. Etc.

What would an O.J. Simpson impressionist actually do? Would he be NFL running back O.J.? Would he be Naked Gun O.J. and recite the entire boxing scene from the second film (“I saw Kid Minneapolis fight once. In Cincinnati”)? Or would he be “Trial of the Century” O.J. and leave leather gloves everywhere?

It’s nice to know that guy from Borat has a second career impersonating Danny DeVito.

I’m seeing double: FOUR Roseannes!

This video has apparently been online for a year, but I just saw it for the first time on FilmDrunk this morning, and it absolutely made my day. I always thought that Oprah sounded like a braying animal, and now I have the video to validate it. True fact: both this goat and Oprah can chew through a tin can.

Anyway, this is a really talented goat. It also sings as well as Usher:

The presentation skills of Oprah, the singing talent of Usher, and the personality of Kate Gosselin. How does this goat not have its own show?

Relevant.

On “Parks and Recreation,” the indomitable Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) has only one worthy foe: his second ex-wife, Tammy (played by real-life wife Megan Mullally). Swanson’s first wife, also named Tammy, has been talked about but never shown. Now that Season 4 is being written, there’s talk of who will play the terrifying Tammy One — and Offerman wants Oprah for the role.

“We’re going to find out who Ron’s first ex-wife Tammy is, and I’m excited to find out why Tammy Two is scared sh*tless of Tammy,” Offerman teased in a conversation with The Huffington Post. “We’re trying to start a campaign to get Oprah to play Tammy One. I think Oprah would be the only, she’s the only person we can think of that might be intimidating to Megan Mullally. It would be so good.”

“There’s all kinds of ideas being thrown around. I can assure you if it’s not Oprah, I will quit,” he deadpanned. [HuffPo]

I’m obviously not an Oprah fan, but I do like it when she plays a bitchier or meaner role (like her guest spot on “30 Rock”), because it feels more natural than “YOU GET A CAR! AND YOU GET A CAR! AND YOU! AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU!” I might even like Oprah if I saw more of her mean streak. So go ahead, Opes: throw hot coffee on your assistant and push an annoying child down an elevator shaft. You can play it off as “preparing for a role.”

Oprah Winfrey’s final show airs this afternoon, and even though she’ll still be in the news and on the cover of her own magazine every month, I’m thrilled that she at least won’t be on TV every day.

An Oprah fan once pointedly asked me why I didn’t like Oprah. Ambushed, I failed to articulate much beyond “she’s a big closeted fake and CLEARLY a villain from a Bond movie.” But over at KSK, Drew Magary put it into much better words than I ever could:

Oprah has basically built a career out of tricking people into being inspired by Oprah talking about herself…

Oprah’s slogan is “Live your best life,” but what her slogan really means is “Live Oprah’s life.” Read the books SHE likes. Get advice from HER doctors. Hang out with HER friends. Buy the things SHE buys. She’s not so much a human being as she is a walking infomercial, covered in seal blubber and topped with a poofy wig. Even her most personal revelations are calculated for maximum brand impact.

And the thing is, that massive ego is the result of Oprah’s minions adoring her without a shred of skepticism. I’d have a lot more tolerance for Oprah and her brand if I met some Oprah fans capable of critically analyzing what they were buying into. (And also if Oprah was hotter.)

Oprah Winfrey began taping her final episodes before a crowd of 20,000 in the United Center yesterday, and the show’s producers surprised Oprah with a flurry of big-name stars, each of whom showered her with the adulation necessary to sustain her massive ego.

Tom Hanks hosted the first hour of taping, featuring appearances by Tom Cruise, Madonna, Dakota Fanning, Halle Berry, Katie Holmes, and Queen Latifah, plus performances by Beyoncé, Rascal Flatts, and Josh Groban with Patti Labelle. The second hour was hosted by Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, and they brought out guests like Michael Jordan, Jerry Seinfeld, Simon Cowell, and — in her first public appearance since SchwarzenbastardGate — Maria Shriver. The second hour also featured a duet by Jamie Foxx and Stevie Wonder, Maya Angelou reading a poem she’d written for Oprah (while backed by Alicia Keys on piano), and Usher singing with a full symphony. You can read the whole report here.

Meh, she coulda gone bigger. I would’ve been more impressed if she gave away 20,000 cars.

In less than two weeks, Oprah Winfrey will tape her final two shows in front of thousands at the United Center in Chicago. As part of the hype, her production company put together this little supercut of all the times she’s been mentioned in TV and movies, which I’m sure Oprah plays on repeat while saying her name aloud and masturbating on a bed filled with hundred-dollar bills defaced to have her image on them instead of Ben Franklin’s. And yeah, OF COURSE there’s a mirror on the ceiling. She’s all, “Oh, Oprah. Yes, Oprah YES! OPRAH OPRAH OPRAH!”

Yikes, I hate what my brain is capable of thinking. Anyway, it’s a pretty good little video, but I would’ve liked David Letterman’s “Uma-Oprah” bit added to the mix.

This barely got covered by any news sources yesterday, so you may not have heard that President Obama released his long-form birth certificate yesterday. He and the First Lady also taped a segment with Oprah Winfrey that will air next week, and you can watch a preview clip here. In it, Obama does his best to maintain his sense of humor about the most moronic controversy in American history, when what he probably wants to do is ram his fist up Donald Trump’s ass and work his mouth like a hand puppet. “Durrr, look at me, I’ve got stupid hair.”

Listen, it’s totally cool with me if you don’t like Obama’s policies. Go ahead and hate whatever health care plan or tax hike suits your vitriol. I don’t even care if you’re put off by his manner of speaking. But let’s all be grown-ups and drop this birth certificate thing. I don’t have the time or patience for stupid, pointless political arguments that AREN’T EVEN ABOUT POLITICS. I have way better things to do with my life, like look for pictures of dogs with fluffy tails.

In December of 2007, Oprah Winfrey hit the campaign trail in support of Barack Obama’s bid for the presidency — the first time she’d ever publicly backed a candidate. Now, as Oprah’s daytime talk show comes to a close, the president and first lady will pay a visit to Oprah — during sweeps, no less.

President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama will tape a show with Oprah Winfrey on April 27 in Chicago, a White House official said today.

The Obamas’ appearance on Oprah airs May 2, said Don Halcombe, a publicist for the show. That puts it within the May sweeps rating period, which runs April 28-May 25. [Trib]

I’m not sure I really have anything to add about this. I don’t pay much attention to Oprah unless she’s killing puppies or her audience is going batsh*t, and I tend to stay away from politics because people who like to argue about politics on the Internet should be pushed off a bridge. So that doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for me to care about this. I dunno, maybe Oprah can have Obama pet some corgis?

Tina Fey confirmed to Oprah that she is presently five months pregnant with her second child. But she’s so busy! Couldn’t she have gotten Amy Poehler to be her surrogate? …anyone? I guess I’m the only one who saw Baby Mama on that flight.

The 30 Rock star is five months along, her rep confirms to PEOPLE… Fey, 40, shared the news during an appearance to promote her new book, Bossypants, and an upcoming Saturday Night Live reunion. Oprah’s chat with Fey is scheduled to air April 12.

According to my TI-85 calculator, Fey will be six months pregnant when she hosts “Saturday Night Live” on May 7th. That’s pretty pregnant, right? Like, all of the characters she plays in sketches will have to be pregnant or holding bags of groceries or sitting behind a computer. But whatever, as long as she writes and delivers some of the jokes on Weekend Update, we all win.

Last June, Zach Anner became an Internet sensation when his video submission for Oprah’s “Your OWN Show” went viral. Despite some ugly developments in the online voting department, Zach is now one of three finalists to host his own show on OWN.

On the most recent episode of “Your OWN Show,” Oprah showed up for a surprise interview, and Anner was completely unfazed by it. He handled her questions with humor and self-aware honesty, and as she concluded the interview, he turned the meeting on its head by asking her some challenging questions. It’s really impressive to watch.

At this point, Anner can’t lose. He either wins and gets his own show, or he loses and gets a show on another network. And I really hope he ends up at another network. I have no idea how to find Oprah’s channel on my cable box.

[Videogum/Vulture]