In less than two weeks, Oprah Winfrey will tape her final two shows in front of thousands at the United Center in Chicago. As part of the hype, her production company put together this little supercut of all the times she’s been mentioned in TV and movies, which I’m sure Oprah plays on repeat while saying her name aloud and masturbating on a bed filled with hundred-dollar bills defaced to have her image on them instead of Ben Franklin’s. And yeah, OF COURSE there’s a mirror on the ceiling. She’s all, “Oh, Oprah. Yes, Oprah YES! OPRAH OPRAH OPRAH!”

Yikes, I hate what my brain is capable of thinking. Anyway, it’s a pretty good little video, but I would’ve liked David Letterman’s “Uma-Oprah” bit added to the mix.

This barely got covered by any news sources yesterday, so you may not have heard that President Obama released his long-form birth certificate yesterday. He and the First Lady also taped a segment with Oprah Winfrey that will air next week, and you can watch a preview clip here. In it, Obama does his best to maintain his sense of humor about the most moronic controversy in American history, when what he probably wants to do is ram his fist up Donald Trump’s ass and work his mouth like a hand puppet. “Durrr, look at me, I’ve got stupid hair.”

Listen, it’s totally cool with me if you don’t like Obama’s policies. Go ahead and hate whatever health care plan or tax hike suits your vitriol. I don’t even care if you’re put off by his manner of speaking. But let’s all be grown-ups and drop this birth certificate thing. I don’t have the time or patience for stupid, pointless political arguments that AREN’T EVEN ABOUT POLITICS. I have way better things to do with my life, like look for pictures of dogs with fluffy tails.

In December of 2007, Oprah Winfrey hit the campaign trail in support of Barack Obama’s bid for the presidency — the first time she’d ever publicly backed a candidate. Now, as Oprah’s daytime talk show comes to a close, the president and first lady will pay a visit to Oprah — during sweeps, no less.

President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama will tape a show with Oprah Winfrey on April 27 in Chicago, a White House official said today.

The Obamas’ appearance on Oprah airs May 2, said Don Halcombe, a publicist for the show. That puts it within the May sweeps rating period, which runs April 28-May 25. [Trib]

I’m not sure I really have anything to add about this. I don’t pay much attention to Oprah unless she’s killing puppies or her audience is going batsh*t, and I tend to stay away from politics because people who like to argue about politics on the Internet should be pushed off a bridge. So that doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for me to care about this. I dunno, maybe Oprah can have Obama pet some corgis?

Tina Fey confirmed to Oprah that she is presently five months pregnant with her second child. But she’s so busy! Couldn’t she have gotten Amy Poehler to be her surrogate? …anyone? I guess I’m the only one who saw Baby Mama on that flight.

The 30 Rock star is five months along, her rep confirms to PEOPLE… Fey, 40, shared the news during an appearance to promote her new book, Bossypants, and an upcoming Saturday Night Live reunion. Oprah’s chat with Fey is scheduled to air April 12.

According to my TI-85 calculator, Fey will be six months pregnant when she hosts “Saturday Night Live” on May 7th. That’s pretty pregnant, right? Like, all of the characters she plays in sketches will have to be pregnant or holding bags of groceries or sitting behind a computer. But whatever, as long as she writes and delivers some of the jokes on Weekend Update, we all win.

Last June, Zach Anner became an Internet sensation when his video submission for Oprah’s “Your OWN Show” went viral. Despite some ugly developments in the online voting department, Zach is now one of three finalists to host his own show on OWN.

On the most recent episode of “Your OWN Show,” Oprah showed up for a surprise interview, and Anner was completely unfazed by it. He handled her questions with humor and self-aware honesty, and as she concluded the interview, he turned the meeting on its head by asking her some challenging questions. It’s really impressive to watch.

At this point, Anner can’t lose. He either wins and gets his own show, or he loses and gets a show on another network. And I really hope he ends up at another network. I have no idea how to find Oprah’s channel on my cable box.

[Videogum/Vulture]