Top Chef (Bravo) — Nigella Lawson is the guest judge. This week’s challenge is making breakfast in bed for Nigella and Padma Lakshmi, and I think I just came. There’s no way the show can live up to what I’ve already imagined.
Glee (Fox) — It’s back after its World Series hiatus. Speaking of which, I saw an adorable little girl chanting, “Mets drool, Yankees rule! Mets drool, Yankees rule!” today in my neighborhood. Pretty cute for evil demon spawn.
South Park (Comedy Central) — Not much to say here, except that Trey Parker and Matt Stone deserve props for a terrific season so far. It’s great to see the show keep its edge.
CSI:NY (CBS) — Part 2 of the crossover trilogy. Hooray for sweeps week.
Flowers Uncut with Jeff Leathem (TLC) — A reality show about “rock n’ roll florist” Jeff Leathem. That has to be the single gayest nickname/title I’ve ever seen. And I mean both kinds of gay. Homosexual and stupid.
Secret Girlfriend (Comedy Central) — Season finale. I hate to admit it, but I find this show kind of watchable. Like, I’m not going to DVR it, and I’m not saying that it’s good, but if it’s on it holds my attention. And you should know that my attention span is it cold in here, or is it just me?
43rd Annual Country Music Awards (ABC) — Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood host. There’s a long list of performers that includes Underwood, Taylor Swift, Kid Rock, Kenny Chesney, Dave Matthews, Daughtry, and a bunch of other white people I haven’t heard of.
Huzzah, cleavage! NBC has released the first pictures of Padma Lakshmi’s guest spot on “30 Rock.” She’ll appear in the November 12th episode. [AceShowbiz]
Hot for teacher: Abigail Spencer, who plays Don Draper’s schoolteacher mistress on “Mad Men,” shared some beauty tips or whatever for some crappy magazine. The important thing is that that magazine had the good judgment to have a photo gallery of her looking pretty. Which she is. [OK!]
In case you missed it: The New York Times did an exhaustive, detailed profile on Jeff Dunham, and the conclusion writ in every sentence is twofold: Jeff Dunham is terrible, and weep for America. [New York Times via Videogum]
Why television makes the world a better place. Exception: “The Jeff Dunham Show.” Still, this is an intriguing read from Charles Kenny. [ForeignPolicy.com]
Wait, Dr. Drew’s actually a doctor? Dr. Drew Pinsky saved a boy’s life on the sidelines of a football game by performing CPR when he went into a coma. [TV Squad]
The commercial that caught everyone’s attention this weekend. If you watched any NFL games on Sunday, you were mesmerized by a certain Reebok commercial (see viedo below). The woman is Jessica Felice, and here are some pictures of her. God bless the Internet. [via @twoeightnine]
I caught this on last week’s “Top Chef” but didn’t see it online until awesomely named reader Matt sent it in: it’s Padma Lakshmi and guest judge Natalie Portman dropping their share of fellatio double entendres in a penis-packed 41 seconds. It’s an absolute delight.
That’s how sex with me is often described, by the way. Not the “absolute delight” part. The penis-packed 41 seconds :(
Top Chef: Las Vegas (Bravo) — Season premiere. Watching this show makes me hungry. For Padma Lakshmi. Delicious gallery of her here.
Dark Blue (TNT) — I actually watched about ten minutes of this on a JetBlue flight because I thought it was a movie I hadn’t seen. When I figured out it what it was, I changed the channel. But still, it wasn’t terrible. I’d watch another ten minutes by accident.
Hard Knocks (HBO) — What exciting motivational slogan will the Bengals put on a t-shirt this week?
Toddlers & Tiaras (TLC) — Season premiere. From Yahoo: “Will Kaylie the 5-year-old pageant vet trump Skyler the shy 4-year-old?” No way! Kaylie’s too grizzled! Judges want fresh faces, not some over-the-hill kindergartner.
Octomom: The Incredible Unseen Footage (Fox) — Oh yeah, this is tonight. I haven’t decided whether or not I’m going to hate-watch just enough to do a better job of maligning it in the future. Probably not.
Bobb’e Says (Cartoon Network) — Series premiere of Bobb’e J. Thompson’s new show. You may remember the precociously funny child’s apostrophed name from his excellent work in Role Models and Bro Mitzvah.
True Hollywood Story (E!) — Tonight: female body builders. Let me guess, someone hits rock bottom?
Oh man, that turns me on. I just LOVE antique furniture.
“Top Chef” hostess Padma Lakshmi has signed a development deal with NBC that will reportedly make the inhumanly beautiful goddess the star of a sitcom.
Building on her “Top Chef” credentials, the show will star Lakshmi as a woman working in the culinary world. (One possible title being mulled: “Single Serving.”) …
Lakshmi’s acting credits include ABC miniseries “The Ten Commandments,” as well as the features “The Mistress of Spices” and “Boom.” She also played the singer Sylk in “Glitter.”
Oh, she played Sylk in Glitter, you say? Well if she was in Glitter then she MUST be a good actress.
Padma needs to just go back to her gig on “Top Chef Masters” (they replaced her with some Asian woman who’s merely very attractive instead of eye-searingly perfect). That’s where she belongs — not on some second-rate comedy. Don’t get me wrong, I want to wear her skin as a robe just as much as the next guy, but I don’t think she’s a gifted comedienne. She does a lot of things well, and being good-looking is most of them.
Yes, please: Allure Magazine has a “naked” issue, and in that naked issue are naked pictures of Padma Lakshmi naked and also naked is Eliza Dushku and then some other naked women are also naked. Syntax not gooding no clothes without. [Allure]
Wanking motion, ENGAGE! Simon Cowell threatens to leave “American Idol,” or something. [Mirror]
I wanna dip my balls in it: Thanks to the commenter who pointed out that “The State” is going to be released on DVD in July. Plan your Amazon purchase accordingly. [SciFiWire]
And by “insinuations of gayness” they mean “pictures of him kissing a dude”: Can a gay person win “American Idol”? I’ll save you a click: yes. [New York Times]
You’re going to want to watch this: After the jump is video of an interview with Joe Hileski, “who was rescued while rafting on the Grand River yesterday.” Let’s just say no one’s going to accuse him of being one of the liberal elite. [WZZM 13]
