As much as I love writing, I don’t have the right words for how much I dislike Perez Hilton. What he does on a daily basis is an insult to anyone who puts any kind of effort into a creative endeavor on the Internet. He’s a talentless liar and a fame whore whose only success comes from the fact that he showed up early to celebrity blogging and most people are too lazy to change their bookmarks.

So it was refreshing to see Sam Rubin of KTLA (LA’s station for the CW) rip Perez on-air after Princess Fairypants ditched out on an interview yesterday. Naturally, Perez demanded an apology because he’s an insufferable drama queen, but instead Rubin called him a talentless dope and went off on him for two and a half minutes. It’s the most pleasure I can get from a Perez Hilton-related video that isn’t him being beaten with an aluminum baseball bat and buried alive in the desert.

To recap: Miss USA judge and talentless hack Perez Hilton asked Miss California Carrie Prejean for her opinion on gay marriage, and she politely but inelegantly said she didn’t agree with it.  And so Perez called her a bitch and a c-nt in video blogs.  Because she gave him her opinion WHEN HE ASKED FOR IT.

Prejean, in turn, appeared on “The Today Show” to stick up for herself, where she awesomely tossed out the condescending “I’ll pray for him” line that translates into non-Christian English as “F-ck that guy.”

This is a tough one to sort out.  I’m all for equal rights and gay marriage, but I also happen to believe in free speech and not calling people “c-nt” just because they answer your question honestly.  I’m also for pretty girls and euthanizing idiots.  Long story short: we need a Playboy spread and some vigilantism.  But then, that’s my solution for everything.

[Best Week Ever]

Blogging urtard Perez Hilton was a judge for the Miss USA pageant this weekend, and he really put Miss California Carrie Prejean on the spot when he asked her if all states should legalize same-sex marriage.  I’ve got the video above, but I felt the need to transcribe her response for posterity:

“Well, I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one or the other.  We live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage.  And you know what?  In my country, and my family, I think that I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman.  No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised, and that’s how I think that it should be between a man and a woman.  Thank you.”

I’ll give her credit for sticking to her guns and telling the gay judge that gays shouldn’t have the right to be married.  And good for her.  It’s about time someone in an evening gown stood up for opposite marriage.

The look of disbelief on Perez’s face really makes the whole thing worthwhile.  You can see a little spark of righteous anger, like he’s thinking, “I haven’t built a career of drawing dicks in MS Paint to be insulted like this!”