Last week, Dustin introduced us to the “Dogs That Look Like Game of Thrones Characters” meme, and now, in the Internet’s attempt to compare everything to everything else (“12 Rocks That Look Like Members of Cheap Trick”), we have “Game of American Thrones.” What can we take from this? Well, whoever made it hates Hillary Clinton and George Bush. Also, the Dany-Sarah Palin match-up isn’t particularly flattering for the Mother of Dragons — Drogon always uses protection when he’s off doing It with a pool of lava or whatever dragons have sex with. Probably other dragons, I guess. But there are only two other dragons in the world, Rhaegal and Viserion, and they’re Drogon’s rarely-seen brother and sister (brother and brother?). Can dragons commit incest?

Man, this image is a real conversation starter. Recap soon. (Via)

With the 2012 presidential election kicking into high gear, NBC and the White House announced this morning that President Obama will appear as a guest on “Late Night with Jimmy FallWHAT’S HE DOIN ON A COMEDY SHOW HE SHOULD BE FIXIN THE DANG ECONOMY. The show will be taped on Tuesday at the University of North Carolina, which is notable because North Carolina is an important swing state this yeOH I SEE HE’S GONNA TRY TO INDOCTRINATE OUR CHILDREN AS IF THESE LIBERAL IVORY TOWER UNIVERSITIES NEED ANY HELP. It’s not President Obama’s first appearance on a late night show, as he’s sat down with Jay Leno a few times, but it is his first appearance on the younger skewing show hosted by FaUGH I HATE LENO AND HIS STUPID RED STATE AUDIENCE THEY’RE RUINING ALL THE GOOD SHOWS LIKE THIS ONE I LOVE THAT NO ONE ELSE WATCHES. While there’s no official word on exactly what Obama will talk about on the show, it’s pretty safe to assume the recent controversy involving comments made by Ted Nugent will be addresTHESE RIGHT WING GUN NUTS ARE DANGEROUS AND SCARY AND ALL OF THEIR WORDS SHOULD BE TAKEN VERY SERIOUSLY EVEN IF THEY ARE SPOKEN BY A LOONY GUITARIST FROM THE 1980S. The show will also feature musical guest Dave Matthews Band, who will perform a live set for the college crowI LOVE DAVE I’VE SEEN HIM FIVE TIMES AND PLAYED HIS ALBUM AT THE OCCUPY PROTESTS IT REALLY HELPED US MAKE A DIFFERENCE. SHUT UP HIPPIE. NO YOU SHUT UP YOU CAPITALIST PIG I’M MOVING TO CANADA IF A REPIGLICAN WINS. GOOD RIDDANCE YOU SOCIALIST THESE COLORS DON’T RUN. AAAAARRRRGGHHHHHHHH.

I hate politics.

Kenny Powers is man who has the ball; he’s the man who can throw it faster than f**k. That’s why he’s better than everyone in the world. Not only does the man hold the rookie record for saves (49) he’s also a gentle lover, but most of all, he’s a goddamn champion. He’s an icon. The only thing that Kenny Powers hasn’t managed yet is landing a big shoe deal, but that’s because no shoe company has had the balls to associate themselves with the bulletproof tiger. But K-Swiss has magnum sized balls. They’ve embraced the essence of Kenny Powers, and appointed him the Motherfu*ckin’ Chief Executive Office (MFCEO) of K-Swiss.

Powers has this new spot out where he basically channels Steve Jobs, if Steve Jobs had an arm like a damn rocket, a c*ck like a burmese python, and the mind of a f**king scientist. In this spot, he introduces K-Swiss’ new shoe, Blades, and honestly, it’s one of the funniest ads you’ve ever lay your puny little eyes on. There’s a animated sequences where he cuts up children, another where he hangs out with half-naked chicks on the moon, and even a sit-down with Bruce Lee to discuss how to make the fastest shoe you’ve ever seen. You will sh*t your pants, nerd.

The thing that struck me most about the video, though, is what an awesome motivational speaker Kenny Powers is. He has the ability to rally a base, inspire an electorate, and bring voters to their knees. If politicians were more like Kenny Powers, there’d be no gridlock in Washington. Kenny Powers could get sh*t done. There’d be no wars, either, because every other country in the world would be too terrified of the awesome power of the United States to do pose a threat.

What I’m proposing is this: Presidential candidates should stop listening to their pussy advisers, and start their cues from Kenny Powers. Campaign speeches wouldn’t be tepid affairs anymore; they’d be like rock concerts where chicks would throw their bras at the candidates. What would it look like? It’d look something like this:

Read the rest of this entry »

Did you folks see “Game Change” on HBO over the weekend? If you did, you were not alone: It was the highest-rated original movie on HBO in eight years. I caught it myself, and I thought it was a fair depiction of the 2008 campaign. In my review over on Pajiba, I even suggested that the two people that came off worse in the movie were Sarah Palin and, more subtly, Barack Obama, for the way the movie suggested that the 2008 campaign elevated celebrity above statesmanship (I do not disagree). John McCain and, in particular, his Chief Political Adviser, Steve Schmidt (Woody Harrelson), fared best of all the participants. McCain was depicted as an honest, above the board campaigner forced to compromise his own principles to have a shot against Obama’s celebrity, while Schmidt was depicted as an adviser who made a hasty, politically calculated decision that he immediately regretted. Moreover, the speech Harrelson gave to Julianne Moore’s Palin before McCain’s concession will probably win Harrelson an Emmy nomination, to boot.

Since the movie aired, both Steve Schmidt and Nicolle Wallace (played by Sarah Paulson) have backed the veracity of the account, but Sarah Palin — who claims not to have seen the movie — has nevertheless called it “Hollywood lies.” While the issue of her erratic, unprofessional, and unstable behavior behind the scenes will remain a matter of “She Said / Everybody Else in the World Said,” it’s hard to argue with Moore’s impression of Palin. She nailed it, as this video — which compares actual footage of Palin with Julianne Moore’s recreation — surely attests.

Read the rest of this entry »

PREFACE: This is not a political post. Not really, anyway.

TRUE STORY: The other day, a much older gentleman asked me what television news shows I watch, and I explained to him that I don’t watch any of them. He then proceeded to chastise me for being a lousy citizen before I could inform him that I don’t watch television news because I get most of my news coverage on the Internet (save for “The Daily Show”). He didn’t quite understand that because he’s still rocking an AOL account, and he’s a Newt Gingrich supporter, so he’s probably a little soft in the brain anyhow.

Truth be told, I don’t like television news because they yell a lot, and if I wanted someone to yell at me, I’d post something on WarmingGlow that made our readers miss Matt. Television news contains very little substance, and even the opinion is obscured by the volume. Frankly, it’s boring. I listen to NPR in the morning, and the rest of the day I stay informed through the Associated Press app on my phone and The New York Times, because I’m a pinko commie liberal hippy.

According to the Pew Research Center, I’m not alone, as fewer and fewer people turn to television news to stay informed.

Only 69% of adults turned to the tube first for election news last month, the lowest percentage in at least 20 years, according to the weekly surveys taken for the Pew Research Center’s News Interest Index. The latest figure is down from 72% four years ago, 78% in 2004, and 86% in 2000. Broadcasters are seeing the biggest losses. Just 32% of adults cited local TV news as their primary source for election news, down from 40% four years ago. The national nightly newscasts were down to 26% from 32%. Cable news channels held relatively steady at 36%, down from 38%. As you might imagine, a lot of people now are turning to the Internet for their political news fix. It passed newspapers to become the No. 2 source of election news, with 34% turning first to the Web vs 26% in the 2008 campaign and 13%.

I’m actually surprised that 32 percent of people use local news to stay informed because local news is garbage in every single region of the country. It’s basically good for one thing, and that’s embarrassing verbal gaffes, like this one:

Read the rest of this entry »