Bristol Palin, the teenager who taught the nation about strong family values by having an unplanned pregnancy during a presidential campaign, will appear as herself on an episode of “The Secret Life of the American Teenager” on ABC Family next season.
The network says the 19-year-old will play herself on an episode scheduled to shoot and air this summer. It will deal with the consequences of teen pregnancy.
Well, if Bristol and MTV have taught me anything, the consequences of having a baby as a teenager are that you end up on a television show. Why, being a teenage mom is totally glamorous!
Of course, I’m sure that’s not the REAL message of “Secret Life” and MTV’s “16 and Pregnant.” Fortunately, teenage girls are notoriously detail-oriented and adept at discerning the truth from potentially muddled messages.
Okay, so there’s been this big thing about “Family Guy” versus Sarah Palin over the last couple days, and I’ve tried to avoid it because nothing sucks the funny out of TV news quite like politics. But, if you’ve missed it, here’s the rundown: Sunday’s “Family Guy” featured a character with Down syndrome who said, “My dad’s an accountant, and my mom’s the former governor of Alaska.” (Watch the scene here.) Naturally, Palin got all pissy about someone talking about her retard baby Trig, because being sensitive about Down syndrome is the hot-button issue here in the year 1989.
The story finally stopped being boring when Andrea Fay Friedman, the actress with Down syndrome who delivered the line in question, wrote an email to several different news outlets addressing the controversy:
I guess former Governor Palin does not have a sense of humor. I thought the line “I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska” was very funny. I think the word is “sarcasm.”
In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life. My mother did not carry me around under her arm like a loaf of French bread the way former Governor Palin carries her son Trig around looking for sympathy and votes. [via Gawker]
Oh, SNAP. Someone get to Western Union and send Sarah Palin a burn notice, because that retarded girl just OWNED Palin and her mongoloid loaf of bread.
Set your DVRs, people. Jon Stewart is going to a guest on Bill O’Reilly’s show in a two-part interview that will air Wednesday and Thursday. The two have gone head-to-head twice that I know of: in 2004, Stewart went on “The O’Reilly Factor” to promote America: The Book, and O’Reilly appeared on “The Daily Show” after the 2008 election to promote one of his books (both video clips are embedded below). But nobody has a book to promote this time, and given Barack Obama’s in-person smackdown of the GOP and its refusal to engage in bipartisanship, we’ve got the table set for fireworks tomorrow.
Although why someone would set a table with fireworks, I don’t know. You should really set tables with place mats and eating utensils, not explosive devices. Otherwise someone might get hurt dinner. Which is why this should be compelling television.
Like most other people, my mind is blown by the idea that Al Franken — the guy who played freakin’ Stuart Smalley — is now a United States senator (or is about to be, whatever). Even if it’s from the state that elected a feather boa-wearing pro wrestler governor. But then the Associated Press touched upon an issue I hadn’t yet considered: who will play Minnesota’s junior senator on “Saturday Night Live”?
When asked Wednesday who’d be best for the role, Franken first told The Associated Press it may be Fred Armisen, who portrays President Barack Obama in SNL skits. He then said occasional guest Alec Baldwin might be a better fit. [...]
Franken himself parodied a U.S. senator at least once on SNL, playing a Democrat at confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas. Franken expects be on the Senate Judiciary Committee, for real, by the time hearings begin for Obama high court nominee Sonia Sotomayor.
So. Freakin’. Weird. It’s hard enough for me to accept parody becoming reality, but for parody to parody the parody-turned-reality? That hurts my brain. And what if Franken comes on the show to reprise Stuart Smalley and give advice to Armisen-as-Franken? It would create a parody paradox that might just end the world. Or at least democracy.
Rashida Jones, the super-pretty and super-funny co-star of “Parks and Recreation,” is reportedly dating someone other than me, causing three consecutive frowny faces :( :( :( on an otherwise emoticon-unfriendly blog. Best Week Ever cites a tipster’s account of Rashida K-I-S-S-I-N-G Obama speechwriter Jon Favreau, the hunky 27-year-old who did not direct and star in Swingers.
Here’s how it went down: Rashida and Jon were hanging out in an exclusive bar in the Georgetown area (yes, D.C. does have “exclusive places”, unless you’re a WASP, as then the world is your nest.) Our tipster reports that the two were attached at the hip all evening, until they starting making out with each other at the bar. Eventually, they left with one another. We can only assume they did the inevitable… shake hands (hands = genitals.)
Aw, man. A good-looking young dude who writes the president’s speeches. He’s probably better than me at everything. Except fart noises! Look at me, I can do it with just my hands! No armpit needed! Don’t act like you’re not impressed, Rashida!
Justin Timberlake wasn’t the only one being funny on Saturday night. Earlier in the evening, Barack Obama presided over the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, the annual fete for the media saps who cover the politics of the executive branch. I don’t think there’s any kind of law that requires the president to do 16 minutes of stand-up at these kinds of functions, but that’s exactly what he did anyway. And he wasn’t bad. Coulda used a bunch more F-bombs, but it’s worth it just to hear him say that Republican Party Chairman Michael Steele was “in the heezy. WASSUP?” Goddam, it’s awesome to have a black president. (UPDATE: His “What’s up?” to John Boehner after making fun of his fake tan in Part 2 is even better.)
Part 2 of the act is after the jump. Up next on Fox News: WHY IS THE PRESIDENT LAUGHING DURING A NATIONAL CRISIS?!?!?!?
