Morgan Wilson was the runner-up on Season 1 of Bravo’s “Top Chef: Just Desserts.” Now he’s been indicted on three second-degree felony charges of possession with the intent to promote child pornography. Whoops.

Wilson, 38, was arrested on Dec. 7, 2010 — less than a month after the ‘Just Desserts’ finale episode aired — when undercover investigators received file transfers from him via Limewire on his computer in September 2010. The file transfers allegedly contained images and videos of children as young as toddlers engaged in sexual acts, according to Pegasus News…

The executive pastry chef at Dallas’ Ritz-Carlton Hotel Lobby Lounge since 2007, the hotel’s Web site just removed Wilson’s name from the site; their Director of Human Resources Jim Van Winkle had previously declined to verify Wilson’s current employment status at the hotel. [AOL via ScreenJunkies]

It’s got to be tough to keep your job after you’ve been indicted on kiddie porn charges, but at least Wilson works in a field where it might not be entirely detrimental to his reputation. “Whoa, that dude’s attracted to children — I bet he makes AWESOME desserts.”

This supercut of Judy Jetson freaking out over boys is too much for me to handle. It goes on FOREVER. All that chick did was freak out over boys. I made it through about a minute and a half, and I couldn’t believe that I was less than a THIRD of the way through it. What a whore.

As a lengthy and disturbing side note, I was looking to sexy this post up a little bit, so I did a Google image search for “judy jetson cosplay.” Seemed harmless enough — except my SafeSearch filter was off. And that, friends, is a terrifying but magnetic rabbit hole to go down. I have seen things, people. Things that shouldn’t happen in cartoons. I saw Judy getting double-teamed by Star Trek characters. Jane and Judy getting railed by that furry house helper thing. With a couple clicks I saw R2D2 doing Princess Leia. Tron porn? Yup. And then there’s the Disney stuff. YIKES. You can’t un-see King Triton from Disney’s The Little Mermaid fingering his butthole while ejaculating. That sh*t is DARK, man. It was like a horrible hentai car wreck that I couldn’t look away from.

So please, enjoy this tame little Judy Jetson cosplay picture — but know that it came with a price.

[via @boomtisca]

Well, knock me over with a feather! The Wall Street Journal has made the groundbreaking discovery that people are watching pornography for free on something called “the internet” instead of ordering pay-per-view porn on their TV.

The trend is prompting TV executives to pull back the curtain on how porn contributes to their businesses, a topic they have been loath to discuss publicly.

On Thursday, satellite provider DirecTV cited “lower adult buys” as a cause for weaker pay-per-view revenue in its second quarter earnings. That followed Time Warner Cable Inc.’s admission last week that shrinkage [heh - Ed.] in the adult category was responsible for more than a third of a $14 million drop in video-on-demand revenue.

Stay tuned for the WSJ’s next exclusive investigation, “Newspapers not doing so hot.”

(image: inothernews via popculturebrain)

This week’s “Game of Thrones” nudity quota was filled by the prostitute Shae, enthusiastically played by Sibel Kekilli, a German actress of Turkish descent who has twice won Germany’s highest acting award. In 2004, just after she won her first Lola Award for her role in Head-On, a German newspaper revealed that Kekilli had acted in several pornographic films. Go ahead, do a Google image search of “Sibel Kekilli” with the SafeSearch off: there are a LOT of pictures of her with a penis in her face.

For those of you corporate drones who are unable to look at pornographic images on company time (suckers!), I’ve compiled a safe-ish for work gallery of Kekilli’s previous work. And let this be a lesson to ALL aspiring actresses: hardcore pornography is a surefire route to a critically acclaimed acting career.

(Thanks to Staple Guy for the tip.)

With Peter Dinklage in “Baelor,” the ninth episode of “Game of Thrones.”

Fun fact: I actually reviewed Head-On when I was the poorest freelance writer in New York City (Kekilli plays a suicidal slut, which is probably why I liked it). To this day you can find my crappy reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, but not the ones that Vince does for FilmDrunk. Take that, Mancini!

Kekilli accepts the Golden Dildo, Germany’s version of a SAG Award.

(NOTE: That’s a lie, and the pixelation is completely unnecessary.)

Kekilli in Head-On. I admit, I was tempted to pixelate the knife.

Kekilli readies for her cable to be fixed.

Aw, it’s sad because her father disowned her.

Here’s a (safe-for-work) trailer for yet another one of Hustler’s porn parodies: “Jeopardy,” I’m sorry to inform you. I would say that fake-Trebek’s mustache makes this one the creepiest porn parody yet, but that simply wouldn’t be true. Nothing will ever be creepier than the “Simpsons” porn parody. Trust me, the Oprah porn parody tried.

Besides, this could EASILY be creepier: Hustler totally missed out on including Watson in this. And what a shame, too. It’s so hard to find decent robot porn that isn’t Japanese.

Charlie Sheen went to the emergency room yesterday for what’s being reported as a hernia. Of course, going to the E.R. for a hernia isn’t a big news story unless, say, you’ve spent the previous 36 hours doing a briefcase of cocaine and critiquing pornography with porn stars. Let’s recap:

We’re told Sheen had several people inside his home during the 36-hour span that started Tuesday night — including 2 porn stars [Melanie Rios and Kacey Jordan - Ed.], a business associate, and several other women. After hours of drinking, we’re told a person showed up to the house with a designer “briefcase” — that contained multiple “bricks” of cocaine. We’re told Sheen immediately began doing the drug for several hours. [TMZ]

Sources who were present at Charlie’s house during his 36-hour party tell us … Charlie pulled out a small green pipe and started smoking cocaine continuously … for hours.

There are many wild details, but we’re told eventually Charlie ended up in his theater room with one of the porn stars with whom he was partying. They watched 3 hours of porn, as Charlie critiqued the action on the screen.

We’re told Charlie, who fancies himself as a porn connoisseur, was questioning his companion about angles and body shots. We’re told the porn star was “surprised” by the depth of Charlie’s knowledge. [TMZ]

Someone yesterday got upset that I was hoping for Sheen to die. Really? Twenty years of doing mountains of cocaine and being violent to women, and I’m the bad guy for wishing he would die? You know, at this point I think the burden of proof for people NOT wishing he’d die falls on Charlie.

p.s. CBS stock dropped almost three points when news of Sheen’s hospitalization broke. Maybe that will wake up the CBS execs who keep supporting him.

Everything you ever love will be destroyed. Your parents, your dog, your childhood home: everything dies, everything rots and crumbles to dust. So, too, will every happy memory of “The Simpsons” be tainted when you watch this trailer for the “Simpsons” porn parody (below). It’s hard to pinpoint the most sickening factor, but the unearthly yellow tint to the actors’ skin is definitely up there, along with Evan Stone’s McBain making out with a woman and James Deen’s creepily voiced Moe hooking up with Cookie Kwan.

If there’s a silver lining to this, it’s that Fox turned into a hardcore porn channel so gradually I didn’t even notice.

OH DEAR GOD UPDATE: Fleshbot has a very NSFW gallery of some of the scenes. Marge (Andy San Dimas) has blue pubes. Pornography has never turned me on less.

Charlie Sheen spent the weekend being Charlie Sheen, which is to say he was partying in Las Vegas with three porn stars, among them Bree Olson. Sheen was supposed to be on the set of “Two and a Half Men” at 10:00 a.m. Pacific time today, but according to TMZ he didn’t check out of his hotel until 9:00 a.m.

Sheen checked out of The Palms Hotel just before 9 AM and is taking a private jet back to L.A. We’re told there will be “discussions” today with Charlie about his well-being, after going on a bender in Vegas this weekend.

Oh, “discussions,” you say? Well that should clean his act right up. Charlie Sheen just needs a good talking to, then he’ll find God and stop single-handedly supporting Colombia’s drug trade.

And OF COURSE Sheen found Bree Olson. If there was a single porn star on the planet who’d be drawn to a violently misogynistic older man, it’s Bree Olson. Her Twitter account is all the evidence you’ll ever need that little girls should be raised with a father figure. She’s so turned on by being demeaned that her porn scenes don’t even turn me on, they just make me sad. And it takes a LOT for me to say that.

Seriously, don’t be surprised when Bree turns up choked to death.

Cheryl: Oh, Pamela, you read me like a poem.
Pam: Yeah? What’s the poem gonna be about when Cyril snaps and murders you?
Cheryl: I don’t know. World’s gushiest orgasm?

As far as I can tell, nobody watches “Entourage” for the acting or writing or plot. All of the male characters are despicable jackasses, and 95% of the female characters are there to look sexy and get used by the men. That makes the show a relatively accurate depiction of Los Angeles, and it also lends to the most common reason I hear for watching the show: “Dude, hot naked chicks.”

That’s what makes the music video/commercial for “Entourage” on Spike kind of brilliant, in its own way (watch it below). It features the actresses who were used for their bodies singing about how the show used them for their bodies. It’s actually pretty savvy of Spike to embrace and celebrate the only reason people watch the show, even though the bare essentials (so to speak) of those reasons have been edited from the basic cable version.

Before you watch the video, be warned: the song is terrible, and white women haven’t gotten any better at rapping since the Spice Girls. However, just like “Entourage,” people can praise the presence of hot chicks, a porn star, and Gary Busey. But unlike “Entourage,” Vince and Turtle and Drama are almost completely edited out, so it’s actually kind of watchable.

Hooray for sexy screencaps!

Hustler has created yet another porn parody (SFW trailer below), with this one called “This Ain’t The Bachelor XXX” (the extra X’s are for seXXX). And I’m being completely serious when I say this looks way more interesting than “The Bachelor,” and not just because the chicks are cool enough to get naked on-camera. Frankly, I find female porn stars — women who get filmed having sex for money — to be less depressing than women who compete for a man’s affection on TV.

Anyway, it seems kind of unfair for Hustler to have to call this a parody, because “The Bachelor” is a cheap rip-off of a porn story line. “Oh, this handsome single man has to choose a bride from 25 beautiful women. How EVER shall he narrow the field down?” *bow chicka wow wow* Up next on ABC: a reality show about a woman who orders pizza, only to get a delivery of true love.