Project Runway (Lifetime) — It sucks that this season was on Lifetime and outdated and irrelevant, because it’s nice to see a final trio composed completely of not-unattractive women, with nary a bitchy flamboyant gay man in sight. Pictured L-R: sexy Irina, occasionally kinda cute Carol Hannah, and she-has-her-moments Althea.
WWII in HD (History) — The final night. I’m now two nights behind thanks to illness and dabbling with a social life for one night, plus I’m going to have to shuffle some things around on my DVR to make sure this records. Why is watching TV so stressful?!?!?
The same Thursday comedies I always watch (NBC, FX) — 8-10 p.m. at NBC, 10-11 at FX. You’re either with me or against me.
CSI: Original Flavor (CBS) — There’s a murder at a bowling tournament. People go bowling in Vegas? How come every week isn’t about another dead hooker?
Grey’s Anatomy (ABC) — I saw something about this going on a two-month hiatus in the middle of its season. I didn’t actually read the item because it was about “Grey’s Anatomy,” but any news about less of this show is good news.
Family Armor (TLC) — A reality show about two Texas brothers who run a business making bulletproof vehicles. TLC scores some points for moving away from its “21st century freak show” programming, but none whatsoever for “remotely interesting idea.”
Nightline (ABC) — In-depth interview with Martha Stewart in which she gets catty towards Rachael Ray. Big whoop.
Project Runway (Lifetime) — Rachel Bilson is the guest judge. I will adore her unapologetically forever and ever for being Summer on “The O.C.” Hey Rach, why don’t you ditch that zero Hayden Christensen and get with a real man? **winks, wipes Cheetoh dust off shirt**
Models of the Runway (Lifetime) — Did we really need a separate reality series about the models in “Project Runway”? Short answer: no. Long answer: no, not at all.
Disaster Lab (Discovery) — They named it after room where you were conceived. Ya burnt.
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (ABC Family) — The original one with Gene Wilder. I don’t know why my parents let me watch this as a kid — the trippy part with the boat is DARK AS HELL.
College Football: South Carolina at N.C. State (ESPN) — Dude, ERIN ANDREWS! Get a screengrab of her in HD! Look, I can see her tongue! Just imagine what she can do with that!
Jimmy Kimmel Live (ABC) — R. Kelly is scheduled to perform. I believe that means he’s going to sing. I hope that’s what it means.
My heterosexual credentials are solid. I was in a fraternity in college. I served in the Marines. I went to war. I have, on occasion, kissed girls. I own a Rottweiler. My favorite drink is whiskey. (Which is not to say that gay/bisexual men can’t do these things, but they’re typically associated with straight men.) And yet, I love “Project Runway.” What gives?
The notion that straight men can’t watch and enjoy “Runway” because it’s about fashion and therefore “gay” needs to be blown up, and I’d like to supply the C4 and detonation cord. At my most meatheaded, I’m happy to point out that there’s plenty of eye candy to ogle on the show, from the models to host Heidi Klum to the two or three designers that I end up pulling for merely because they’re attractive and I’m extremely shallow.
Dammit, Gunn! Stop trying to clothe Heidi!
Project Runway (Lifetime) — The long-awaited, long-ago-wrapped Season 6 finally begins. With the move to Lifetime from Bravo, it will now appeal less to gay men and more to boring unattractive women. You know, it’s easy to forget — because Heidi Klum is still hot even though she’s in her mid-thirties and pregnant with her fouth child — that she used to look like this. And this. And this. Good times.
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (ABC) — Suns point guard Steve Nash plays the game for charity. As much as I’m above watching this show, Nash is easily one of the smartest and funniest star athletes in any sport. He might make it watchable.
NFL Preseason: Eagles at Colts (Fox) — Hey everybody! Michael Vick is back! here’s your chance to see him — oh, wait. He’s suspended. Something about dogfighting?
Into the Pride (Animal Planet) — A man lives with lions in Africa. Fun fact: “pride” is also the collective noun for a group of homosexuals.
Blog Cabin (DIY) — This is my new favorite name for a show. I will from here on out call my apartment that.
MLS Soccer: New England at Seattle (ESPN2) — WOOOOOOOOOO GO SOUNDERS!!!!!!!!! Hey, don’t look at me like that. I didn’t say I was actually going to watch it.
Here are eight televised spots to introduce you to the cast of the new-old “Project Runway.” And I’ll be honest: I like “Project Runway,” but it belongs on the glam-trash channel of Bravo, not the estrogen-and-tears world of Lifetime. Watch these and try — just try – to not want to murder whoever came up with the touchy-feely tinkling piano track.
Thumbs down, Lifetime. This better not be a harbinger of what you’re doing to the show. If you put Heidi Klum in fat clothes to make your viewers feel better about themselves, we’re gonna have words. You’re on notice, bitch. **snaps in Z formation, wags head back and forth**
The finale of the newest season of “Project Runway” was taped in February, but the show has been held in legal limbo while Bravo and Lifetime and the Weinsteins struggled to scratch out a deal. However, with Season 6 beginning on its new home of Lifetime on August 20th, we finally get a look at the new cast.
As the female friendly network prepares for the Aug. 20 premiere, the 16 contestants’ diverse faces and backgrounds are ready for launch. Three of them — Nicolas Putvinksi, Gordana Gehlhausen and Irina Shabeyeva — hail originally from Russia, Bosnia and the Republic of Georgia, respectively.
Yet another contestant, Malvin Vien, lists his favorite designer as “himself” and inspiration as “the farmers of rural China.”
Translation: he’s the contestant you’ll want to brutally assault.
Season six takes place in Los Angeles, where celebrities such as Christina Aguilera and Lindsay Lohan will make cameos during challenges.
“Look out for the girls,” [host Heidi] Klum said Wednesday, during a break from filming the show’s seventh edition in New York. “The girls are very strong on season six. There’s a lot of crying, there’s fighting going on, there’s a lot of drama going on — but especially with the girls.”
That should be refreshing. Usually it’s the gay men who do all the fighting and crying and melodramatic posturing. And I can’t wait for Lindsay Lohan’s input. “This is great, but does it show my vaj when I wear it without underwear?”
