Look: I watch Rachel Bilson’s “Hart of Dixie,” but that shouldn’t be taken as an endorsement. I watch everything. “Hart of Dixie” is … cute. Inoffensive. And Rachel Bilson wears a lot of revealing outfits. There are worse ways to spend 42 minutes. Ratings have not been huge, even by CW standards, so ahead of the winter premiere, Bilson is pulling a Natalie Portman and has taken to profanity-fueled rapping.

I’m not saying it’s going to rock your world, but she looks nice in a short skirt, she pokes fun at her resemblance to Mila Kunis, refers to herself as Summer Roberts, and she takes a dig at Mischa Barton. Plus, for the ladies: “Friday Night Lights” Jason Street washes a car … with his body.

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Last week I posted brief synopses of the four new shows that the CW is adding to its schedule next year, and while I thought they sounded terrible, I didn’t realize they’d be THIS awful. Above is a preview clip for “H8R,” in which Snooki confronts a guy who can’t stand her. And mostly he just stands there with a dumb look on his face while Snooki jabbers on and Mario Lopez laughs at him. It’s infuriating. I want the hater to break a pool cue over Snooki’s head, not stand there and take a tongue-lashing from an Oompa Loompa.

On the next pages I’ve got previews for “Ringer” and “Hart of Dixie,” which both look awful, but at least they look awful in more entertaining ways. (The CW’s other new show, “Secret Circle,” had a six-minute preview, but the CW pulled it out of respect for their viewers for copyright infringement.)

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It’s pilot season, which means that actors are getting cast in shows that may or may not make the air at a much faster rate than I can possibly keep track of. But, because I’m a sex-obsessed pig, here’s a quick rundown of attractive women who’ve recently landed roles:

Rachel Bilson is a flawless human being, so of course she beat out everyone on the planet for a role in the CW’s “Hart of Dixie.” From Deadline: “It is a comedic drama centered on a young New York City doctor (Bilson) who inherits a medical practice in a small Southern town inhabited by an eclectic and eccentric group of characters.” So… Doc Hollywood meets “Northern Exposure” meets the girl of my dreams (see following pages). Gotcha.

Annie Wersching, previously hailed at Warming Glow for being unhinged and super-hot on “24,” has landed a lead role in ABC’s “Partners,” a cop drama about two female detectives “who are fiercely loyal to one another since they’re also secretly half-sisters.”

Anna Camp, the perky blonde preacher’s wife from “True Blood,” landed one of the two lesbian roles in the NBC pilot “I Hate That I Love You” (previously written about here). Aw, a lesbian? What a waste of handjob skills! [Deadline]

Laura Prepon will play a young version of Chelseas Handler in an NBC pilot called “Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea.” Prepon will play “a fresh-faced single cocktail waitress highly opinionated and open about her love to drink and have sex.” I like that last part, but I could do with fewer opinions.

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After years of aborted attempts to bring Wonder Woman to the big screen, Warner Bros. is looking to bring the sexy DC Comics heroine to television. And to ensure that it goes well, they’re hired a TV writer/producer who excels at creating memorable-yet-disposable legal dramas.

Warner Bros. Television is developing a modern-day reboot of the classic DC comic book heroine and has lassoed an unlikely talent to potentially write and produce the superhero project: David E. Kelley, the showrunner behind legal dramas such as “Ally McBeal,” “Boston Legal” and “The Practice.”

The news comes after nearly a decade of attempts by Warner Bros. and producer Joel Silver to launch a big-screen version. Actresses ranging from Angelina Jolie to Beyonce Knowles to Megan Fox have thrown their hat in the ring for the starring role at one time or another. [THR]

And by “thrown their hat in the ring,” they mean “fans Photoshopped her into Wonder Woman’s costume for masturbation purposes.”

Anyway, the big question is who will succeed Lynda Carter in the titular role now that flat asses in high-waisted granny panties aren’t considered sexy. For my money, nothing can touch Rachel Bilson in the WW costume when she was on “The O.C.” (see video below), but I’d also be okay with some other sexy brunette with big tits. I’m even open-minded enough to accept a sexy blonde with big tits. It’s the 21st century, people — it’s time to let go of our prejudices.

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Project Runway (Lifetime) — Rachel Bilson is the guest judge. I will adore her unapologetically forever and ever for being Summer on “The O.C.” Hey Rach, why don’t you ditch that zero Hayden Christensen and get with a real man? **winks, wipes Cheetoh dust off shirt**

Models of the Runway (Lifetime) — Did we really need a separate reality series about the models in “Project Runway”? Short answer: no. Long answer: no, not at all.

Disaster Lab (Discovery) — They named it after room where you were conceived. Ya burnt.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (ABC Family) — The original one with Gene Wilder. I don’t know why my parents let me watch this as a kid — the trippy part with the boat is DARK AS HELL.

College Football: South Carolina at N.C. State (ESPN) — Dude, ERIN ANDREWS! Get a screengrab of her in HD! Look, I can see her tongue! Just imagine what she can do with that!

Jimmy Kimmel Live (ABC) — R. Kelly is scheduled to perform. I believe that means he’s going to sing. I hope that’s what it means.