Although the new winter schedule has already had one well-deserved casualty so far, the news is not so great for people who get upset when bad shows receive good ratings while better shows toil in obscurity (a.k.a., Greendalies). First off, if you haven’t heard yet, last week’s debut of the Rob Schneider show, “Rob” — also known as televised prostate cancer — received stunningly great ratings, as 13.5 million of “Big Bang Theory’s” 15 million viewers stuck around to watch Rob make fun of Hispanics while a woman with large breasts spoke in an accent. That actually doesn’t speak very well of the “Big Bang” audience, either. If you’re one of the 1.5 million “Big Bang” viewers that changed the channel, you might want to take a moment and dissociate yourself from the rest of your fake nerd brethren (real nerds watch “Community,” bitches)

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Rob (CBS) – Series premiere. The picture above, that’s Rob Schneider with his wife, Patricia Azarcoya Arce. So, between that and the mere existence of “Rob” – USA Today review headline: “What’s bad about “Rob”? The whole enchilada” – we now have Reasons #587 and #588 of “Why We Hate Rob Schneider.”

30 Rock (NBC) – Season premiere. Yeah, I totally should have included the Lemon Party. That, and Fresh-Ass: Based on the Novel Tush by Ass-Phire. I’m so happy this show’s back.

The Office (NBC) – Tonight’s episode, “Trivia,” sounds like it recycles two plots: 1) Andy tries to get everyone to double their sales, which he already tried to do in “The Incentive,” and it wasn’t funny; and 2) The summary closely resembles “The Quiz” from the original UK “Office.” I swear, if Andy says,” Exsqueeze me,” I’m DONE.

Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory (HBO) – Third and maybe final documentary in the “Paradise Lost” series, about the wrongful conviction, imprisonment, and eventual release of the West Memphis Three. The first two are excellent, and there’s no reason to think “Purgatory” won’t be as good. With music from Metallica!

The Finder (FOX) – Series premiere, about a former-military policeman (played by Geoff Stults) from Florida who can find anything. Shows set in Florida suck. More importantly, it’s Michael Clarke Duncan’s triumphant return to TV; it’s been too long since he played “Inmate” on “The Jamie Foxx Show.”

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: John McCain and Johnny Winter on Letterman; Gerard Butler, Betty White, and Ledisi on Leno; Meryl Streep, Stephen Merchant, and Kina Grannis on Kimmel; Hugh Laurie on Ferguson; Daniel Radcliffe, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, and Common on Fallon; Ricky Gervais, Wladimir Klitschko, and James Durbin on Conan; Dolly Parton on Stewart; and Mike “Not Steve” Allen on Colbert.

After the jump, a cute “Parks and Recreation” skit that aired during last night’s People’s Choice Awards. It’s got Ron and Ann growing beards and Andy and April showing off their impressive sword-swallowing skills.

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CBS released its midseason schedule today, and I’m not going to pretend to give a crap about the minor tweaks to the newest batch of imitation comedy gruel. The only real news is that Rob Schneider’s previously untitled new show about living with Mexican in-laws is going to be named “¡Rob!”

*kisses fingertips* That’s perfect. So succinct. The inverted exclamation mark lets you know Latin excitement is on the way, the “Rob” part lets you know that it’s about Rob, and the final exclamation point is universal symbol of a quality television show. This kind of wonderful television news is precisely what I needed to lift my spirits after the disappointing “Community” news.

Even though “¡Rob!” is unquestionably the most perfect name for a show ever, I came up with ten other titles that could have worked just as well:

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Me too, Sombrero Dog. Me too.

Rob Schneider married into the wacky ethnic family of Mexican TV producer Patricia Azarcoya Arce (pictured), so of course he turned that into a sitcom idea. Developed by CBS, the pilot didn’t get picked up last spring, but now that it’s been re-cast and re-shot, CBS has placed a mid-season order for the zany antics of the Deuce Bigalow star, who does stupid comedies like this, and his in-laws, who are all like thees, mang.

The multi-camera comedy… stars Schneider as Rob, a confirmed bachelor who has just married into a tight-knit Mexican-American family. Spanish actress Claudia Bassols plays his wife, Maggie. Diana Maria Riva plays his mother-in-law, Rosa. Both roles were recast from the pilot, as was the role of Schneider’s father-in-law, now played by Cheech Marin. [Deadline]

There’s no title for it yet, but I think we can all agree it’s going to be called “Border Disputes.” Or if CBS wants to give it a REALLY accurate title, they can go with “Two *chihuahua barks* and a *bike horn*.”

One of the big things on Howard Stern’s show today was this interview that Rob Schneider gave to a morning radio show in Palm Beach. Apparently SpongeBob and the Morning Zoo or whatever they’re called kept the star of Deuce Bigalow 2: European Gigolo waiting a little too long, and that made Schneider mad enough to be all sarcastic and passive-aggressive, which prompted a backlash from one of the DJs before Schneider ultimately walked out of the interview.

I can’t really process this thoroughly enough to come down on one side or another. On the one hand, Schneider’s a hack who acted like a dick; on the other, morning radio show DJs are some of the lowest forms of life on the planet. Anyone who works on a morning radio show is about on par with “public school guidance counselor” in the category of “Failed at Life.” Although frankly, I’d rather fail at life than be Rob Schneider.