This picture won’t help.

Shane Sparks, an Emmy-nominated choreographer for “So You Think You Can Dance” and a judge on “America’s Best Dance Crew,” was arrested Friday on suspicion of felony child molestation stemming from alleged incidents fifteen years ago.

The Los Angeles district attorney’s office filed an eight-count felony complaint [Friday] against Sparks, alleging multiple lewd acts upon a child, starting in 1994. It identified the victim as a girl who was younger than 14 years old when the incidents began. [LA Times]

Web site TMZ reported that Sparks attorney Steve Meister said ‘the case “stinks to high heaven” because Sparks’ accuser waited 15 years to come forward. He called the claims “extortion, Hollywood-style.” [Examiner]

Sparks, meanwhile, called the sex “statutory rape, Polanski-style.”

Polanksi: “C’MON YOU TWO! GET YOUR PAWS DIRTY!”

YOUR RDA OF LINKS:

Nicole Eggert is tubby, funny. Props to the “Baywatch” star for being able to laugh at her body — I admit, I laughed during the slow-motion jiggle. But I think stating that women are allowed to gain weight sends a dangerous message. Dangerously unsexy. [Funny or Die]

Et tu, Barack? Obama endorses a George Lopez talk show. No, I’m serious. [Best Week Ever]

Five TV Show Casts that Should Reunite. This didn’t make the list, but I think a Justin Timberlake/Britney Spears/Christina Aguilera-era “Mickey Mouse Club” would be a good call, actually. Timberlake and Aguilera could perform a great number while Britney smoked cigarettes while eating ice cream from the container. Gallon, not pint. [Asylum]

Sure, why not? Dog lingerie. That is all. [Urlesque]

Finally, some exposure for Barack Obama. National Geographic has received permission to film the president’s daily life in the White House over a four-month period. The special will air late next year. [C21Media]

I’m almost surprised it took the Internet as long as it did to make this video: a hilarious edition of “To Catch a Predator” in which Chris Hansen sticks it to Roman Polanski. According to Movieline, the clips of Polanski come from his 1987 interview with Diane Sawyer, while Hanson’s questions come from stock footage of Chris Hanson sticking it to pedophiles. Man, is that guy a total cockblock or what? Can I at least get reimbursed for these condoms and wine coolers?

[Big Hollywood]

Chris Rock on “The Jay Leno Show”:

People are defending Roman Polanski because he made some good movies. Are you kidding me? He made good movies 30 years ago! Even Johnnie Cochran don’t have the nerve to go, “Well, did you see O.J. play against New England?”

Unfortunately, Leno steers the conversation to Michael Vick instead of pressing to Rock to keep killing it with Polanski, but Rock makes it work. From now on when I see a German shepherd I’m gonna think “snitch-ass dog.”

So, this Roman Polanski guy’s been in the news a bit, eh? If you’re just catching up, in 1977 the then-43-year-old director photographed a 13-year-old girl nude, gave her booze and quaaludes, then anally raped her. This is all part of the public record. But he’s made some really good movies and that was a long time ago, so just chill out everybody. Hell, give Whoopi Goldberg another couple minutes, and she’ll probably tell you that that little slut was asking for it by being so sexy in the first place. Whoopi on “The View” yesterday:

I know it wasn’t rape-rape… All I’m trying to get you to understand, is when we’re talking about what someone did, and what they were charged with, we have to say what it actually was not what we think it was…

We’re a different kind of society. We see things differently. The world sees 13-year olds and 14-year olds in the rest of Europe… not everybody agrees with the way we see things…”

Would I want my 14-year-old having sex with somebody? Not necessarily.

See, according to Whoopi, there are certain times when it’s okay for 13-year-olds and 14-year-olds to have sex. Like if the other person is a famous movie director who’s three decades older. Our children’s sexual experiences should be limited to only the best drug-haze anal raping.

[WWTDD]