HBO released a teaser for its upcoming movie Game Change, based on the best-selling book that chronicled the 2008 election, and it looks interesting I guess but LORD HAVE MERCY I have no interest in turning this into a discussion about politics or which party and/or candidate hated America the most. I’d rather try to eat a frisbee. So, instead, I’ll make these two observations:

- When Julianne Moore first appeared on stage, I thought to myself “Wow, she really looks like Sarah Palin.” But then I realized EVERYBODY looks like Sarah Palin if you pile their hair on top of their head and put some librarian glasses on them. It’s such a signature look at this point that you could probably put DMX in that get-up and people would be like, “Huh. I never realized how much he looked like Palin.” (Just so we’re all clear or this, DMX in a Sarah Palin costume would be the funniest thing ever. It wouldn’t even be close. — AWESOME UPDATE BELOW.)

- Since everyone who’s interested in this stuff already knows most of the details, they should have spiced things up a little. Like, maybe they could have turned McCain into my favorite stock movie character of all time: the gruff police chief. He could call Palin into his office and start yelling about what a live wire she is, and how, DAMMIT, the head of the RNC is gonna have his ass for her reckless shenanigans. Then she’d yell back “I GET RESULTS,” and he’d take her off the case and order her to stay away from Cortez’s warehouse even though Cortez killed her partner and is flooding the streets with tainted dope. Then she’d go undercover and take the whole gang down with only the help of her canine sidekick, Gipper. Also, let’s change her name to something like Mallory Justice or Paige Lawless. Now THAT’S a movie I would watch.

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There was a lot of media fuss about Sarah Palin and Donald Trump meeting New York City — where they ate slices of pizza with a knife and fork at a chain restaurant in Times Square — but nobody did a better job of capturing New Yorkers’ attitudes about pizza than Jon Stewart, who launched into a pitch-perfect diatribe defending one of Gotham’s longest-standing culinary traditions.

I was hesitant to post this because I’m always afraid of political flame wars on posts like this one, but this is strictly apolitical. Stewart isn’t a liberal going after Republican figureheads; he’s a New Yorker scolding Trump for misrepresenting the city to a tourist. If you’ve ever lived in New York, this clip will hit home; if you’ve never been here, then pay attention because it’d be a damn shame if you thought Famiglia was a real New York slice.

(Props to the Cajun Boy for being all over this, including a gallery of Obama eating pizza with his hands. And if you’re in Brooklyn, go to Franny’s on Flatbush. They’ve got a clam, chilies, and parsley pizza that sounds disgusting but tastes awesome.)

Tonight, E! will air the “True Hollywood Story” of Sarah Palin, a hallmark of fame only bestowed upon such luminaries as Jim J. Bullock, Joe Piscopo, and Kate Gosselin (although to be fair, there was also an episode about Barack Obama).

This preview clip isn’t too enticing — a buncha white guys talking about Palin’s rise to brain trust known as the Wasilla City Council — but you get to see how she looked in 1992. And if you thought she was (G)MILFy in 2008, just wait until you glimpse her 16 years earlier. Outta the way, Stifler’s mom! Mrs. Palin is lookin’ fine! I’d totally impregnate her with a retarded baby.

Despite a successful first season by viewing standards, TLC and Sarah Palin have elected not to make a second season of “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.” And no, I suppose “not renewing” isn’t the same thing as “canceling,” but I’m sticking with that headline just the same. Even if it is an OBFUSCATION OF THE TRUTH BY THE LIBERAL MEDIA!

Insiders admit that Palin seemed to enjoy doing the show more than she expected, in spite of the bad press that it generated. But it makes sense why Palin wouldn’t want to commit to another season: If she and her family chose to shoot more episodes, it would surely be interpreted as a sign that she had no plans to run for office. By not doing a second round, Palin would spare TLC the trouble of having to provide her fellow candidates with equal-access time of their own in the event she did decide to run. [Inside TV]

I enjoy that reasoning: a second season of a reality show would tell people that Palin’s not interested in running for office.

And of course TLC doesn’t want to provide equal airtime to all the candidates. The Obamas only have two children — that’s like one-third the bare minimum for a TLC show.

While there are those saying that Sarah Palin’s foray into televised hunting has only served to further tarnish her image as a true-to-life hunter and legitimate killer of things, that doesn’t mean she can’t impart what little actual knowledge of living off nature that she has onto the next generation of rusticated dimwits. And so in a TV crossover worthy of The Flintstones meets The Jetsons, Palin welcomes Kate Gosselin and her brood on the next episode of “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” for some basic wilderness training. And, shock of shocks, Kate turns out to annoy everyone.

Then Kate and her kids land at the campsite. Quickly, Kate proves to be a bigger pill than a horse tranquilizer.

“I’m not worrying about bears right now,” she is soon grousing. “I’m just worried about keeping my toes wiggling ’cause they’re freezing.”

Sarah, daughters Piper and Willow, husband Todd and other family members seem to be having a blast. So, for that matter, are Kate’s youngsters.

“The kids are having fun, so I’m tolerating it, but this is my new home,” grumbles Kate, having sullenly planted herself, apart from the rest, beneath a tarp. “I am miserable, but, I mean, somebody’s got to be.”

That’s a good martyrdom complex. At least if you’re one of eight siblings, you have a fighting chance not to be the miserable one in that household. Though it should be for captivating television years from now when they can film the day when the other seven kids, now grown up, finally decide to free the outcast from his manacles in the basement.