Despite a successful first season by viewing standards, TLC and Sarah Palin have elected not to make a second season of “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.” And no, I suppose “not renewing” isn’t the same thing as “canceling,” but I’m sticking with that headline just the same. Even if it is an OBFUSCATION OF THE TRUTH BY THE LIBERAL MEDIA!

Insiders admit that Palin seemed to enjoy doing the show more than she expected, in spite of the bad press that it generated. But it makes sense why Palin wouldn’t want to commit to another season: If she and her family chose to shoot more episodes, it would surely be interpreted as a sign that she had no plans to run for office. By not doing a second round, Palin would spare TLC the trouble of having to provide her fellow candidates with equal-access time of their own in the event she did decide to run. [Inside TV]

I enjoy that reasoning: a second season of a reality show would tell people that Palin’s not interested in running for office.

And of course TLC doesn’t want to provide equal airtime to all the candidates. The Obamas only have two children — that’s like one-third the bare minimum for a TLC show.

There are many, many animated GIFs that I love more than my own family. Snooki getting punched is probably #1 all time. “The Amazing Race’s” watermelon in the face is a joyous miracle of accidental violence. There’s a special place in my heart for the bloody corpse stranglebation on “Dexter.” And, of course, I’d be remiss not to acknowledge Alison Brie’s accomplishments in this field of animation.

But this — THIS! — GIF from last night’s “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” is an instant classic. It’s perfect: simple and hypnotic, yet also poignant in its own way. I’ve seen it about 500 times (honest estimate) over the course of writing these two paragraphs, which makes it officially the longest I’ve ever watched Sarah Palin.

[Bad TV Blog via BuzzFeed]

Brew Masters (Discovery, Sunday) – The show follows the goings on at the Dogfish Head Brewery as they search out new flavors and styles of beer. When reached for comment, every dipsh-t 22 year old in America said, “Beer? Lame,” then chugged a Four Loko, and passed out in a pool of highly caffeinated bile.

Blue Bloods (CBS, Friday) – Or, as it’s also known, “Police Cops: Criminal Lawbreakers Unit: NY.”

Saturday Night Live (NBC, Saturday) – Anne Hathaway hosts.  Earlier this week, a girl I know tried to tell me she likes Anne Hathaway because she doesn’t do nude scenes.  I proceeded to disagree vehemently and describe her nude scenes in Havoc and Brokeback Mountain in vivid detail. The girl reacted with a face that clearly expressed an intention to never, ever, have sex with me.

Boardwalk Empire/The Walking Dead (HBO/AMC, Sunday) – I’m not saying Steve Buscemi looks like a zombie, I’m just saying he should stay the hell out of Atlanta unless he wants an ax in the head.

Sarah Palin’s Alaska (TLC, Sunday) – No.

The debut of “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” on TLC drew about 5 million viewers, which is a record for a series premiere on that channel. And while those are excellent ratings for a cable show, let’s not announce the apocalypse/declare candidacy for 2012 (depending on your politics) just yet. The premiere of AMC’s “The Walking Dead” had slightly more viewers, and the third season of “Jersey Shore” was regularly pulling in over six million per episode. So yes: a lot of people watched it, but not enough to make a sweeping generalization about the state of America.

Anyway, I want to wash my hands of this subject as quickly as possible, but I’ll point you in the direction of Gawker TV’s five most ridiculous moments from the show, as well as Tim Goodman’s fairly even-handed review for The Hollywood Reporter. Here’s the crux of it:

What’s most unfortunate about Alaska is that what could have been a very good travel and nature series gets co-opted by politics and the faux believability of a reality show.

Alaska deserves better. I mean, the natural beauty of Alaska deserves a better TV show. Alaska the state deserves a hero like Palin. Why, just look at her cuddling those puppies in the snow! She’s a saint!

Here’s the trailer for “Sarah Palin’s Alaska,” which will air — where else? — on TLC. By now you either like Sarah Palin or you don’t, so it’s pretty pointless for me to give my opinion on this trailer. I’m sure that if you like Palin, this looks like a beautiful, family-friendly nature documentary. And if, say, the mere sound of her voice makes you want to cave her skull in with a claw hammer, well, this probably isn’t the show for you.

Regardless of your opinion, however, there is one unalienable awesome truth in this video:

GRIZZLY FIGHT!

Oh man, I would empty my bank account to see Sarah Palin eaten by bears. Is there a PAC for that?