Nick Offerman, the actor who plays Ron Swanson on the NBC series “Parks and Recreation,” has been around for years, but few of us noticed because he wasn’t yet “Ron Swanson.” He was simply Nick Offerman, a struggling actor with a boat-building side job that bounced around in bit parts in a series of movie and television shows. In fact, for much of his career, Offerman went up against Rainn Wilson for the same parts, and the two developed a friendship during those auditions. That’s how Offerman landed the job of Ron Swanson: Rainn Wilson put him in touch with Greg Daniels, the showrunner of “The Office,” while Daniels was developing “Parks and Recreation.”

Pre-”Parks and Recreation,” very few of us might have known that he was married to Megan Mullally (they met while doing a stage production together in 2000), but for the most part — despite 45 roles or so before landing “Parks and Recreation” — no one had a clue who he was, even though he was an occasional presence in our television lives.

Here are the highlights of his pre-Swanson career, with a NSFW warning on the last slide, which depicts his full-frontal presence on “Deadwood” back in 2004.

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The Super Bowl (NBC, Sunday) – I’m really hoping it’s a good game, seeing as I’ve already seen all the commercials and I don’t care at all about Madonna’s halftime performance. I make this plea every year, but PLEASE let Wu-Tang do the halftime show next year. No frills, either. Just the house lights and 30 dudes on stage, all of them with live microphones. That would be the best.

Puppy Bowl (Animal Planet, Sunday) – I’ve spoken my piece about this already. You are free to watch if you want. (Full lineup here.)

Luck (HBO, Sunday) – This show looks really promising. I kind of hope War Horse shows up at some point. I love that guy.

Fringe (FOX, Friday) – From TV Guide: “Peter and Olivia are on the trail of a killer equipped with a toxic weapon that defies chronological description.” I have no idea what the end of that sentence means, so I’ll just assume they mean nunchucks and move right along.

Spartacus: Vengeance (Starz, Friday) – Why did we ever stop wearing togas? They’re super comfortable, look cool, and are easy to slip on and off — like some sort of masculine sundress. I would happily wear a toga to formal functions instead of a suit. I’d feel so free and relaxed.

Downton Abbey (PBS, Sunday) – Say what you will about PBS in general, but if nothing else, I admire them for the ballsiness of running a new episode on Sunday night. “Super Bowl Schmuper Bowl. We’re airing British people! FROM THE EARLY 1900s! Like it or love it, world.”

Saturday Night Live (NBC, Saturday) – C-Tates preview of this episode, from Burnsy: “Yo girl, u like jokes n sh*t? Check dis, boo – Haha, yo I be C-Tates n sh*t n I’m in dat new movie Da Vow wit Rachel MC Adams, right? But maybe u know me from dat other sh*t like GI Joe n Step Up. But yo girl, I ain’t here 2 save no rec center. Naw, son, I’mma save da 30 Rock center. LIVE FROM ZOO YORK, IT B SATURDAY NIGHT!”

Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve were presumably very simple, paint by numbers romantic comedies whose success hinged more on jamming a hundred recognizable faces into their trailers than on any actual artistic merit. (“LOOGIT HONEY! IT’S THAT GUY FROM THE TEE VEE. AND HE’S IN A MOVIE WITH THE GIRL FROM THE TEE VEE. AND THERE’S THAT OTHER GUY FROM THE THING. IT MUST BE GOOD. LET’S SEE IT AND THEN GO GET DINNER AT OLIVE GARDEN.”) I say “presumably” because I have gone — and will continue to go — to great lengths to avoid seeing them. But I am also someone who watches a ton of TV, so I am more than familiar with their commercials, which are also formulaic and ripe for parody.

I say all this because “30 Rock” aired a fake trailer for a film titled Martin Luther King Day last night, and it was spot-on. “Saturday Night Live” did their own spoof of these films a few weeks ago, mainly as an excuse to roll out a bunch of celebrity impressions and rib Seth Meyers about his appearance in New Year’s Eve, but “30 Rock’s” version was much better. They showcased a bunch of stars, mimicked the style perfectly, threw in some absurd gags, and still managed to wrap it all up in under a minute. Take notes, kiddies. This is how you do it.

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Downton Abbey (PBS) – Did you know that the whole first season of this show is available for free on PBS’s website until the 17th? You didn’t? And you, like me, have really been meaning to get caught up on it because all those stupid smart people keep saying how good it is? Sounds like we’ve got a busy weekend.

Golden Globe Awards (NBC, Sunday) – HAVE YOU GUYS HEARD THAT RICKY GERVAIS IS EDGY AND DOESN’T PULL PUNCHES? I KNOW! SO ZANY. (More importantly, did you know that we’re live-blogging the show over at the Uproxx mothership? I’m gonna get drunk and call Fassbender a wanker. He knows what he did.)

Fringe (FOX, Friday) – What it do, nerds?

Miss America Pageant (ABC, Saturday) – Whatever happened to that one beauty pageant girl who loved to party? You know, the blonde one. I liked her.

Saturday Night Live (NBC, Saturday) – Hosted by Daniel Radcliffe, with musical guest Lana Del Rey. I have never seen nor heard anything either of those people have been involved in. I’m okay with that.

Hell on Wheels (AMC, Sunday) – Season finale. I couldn’t really get into this show because one of my history teachers spoiled it for me back in high school when she taught us that the railroad eventually got completed. Same lady ruined Titanic for me. What a bitch.

Napoleon Dynamite (FOX, Sunday) – Series premiere. Kinda weird how every single person from the movie was available to do this cartoon eight years later. It’s almost like the movie was an overrated piece of junk and their careers never took off the way everyone thought they would. Huh.

Shameless/House of Lies/Californication (Showtime, Sunday) – I just finished my “Californication” spec script. Lemme know what you guys think: DAVID DUCHOVNY: Hey, I’m kind of a tool. PRETTY GIRL: [removes shirt]. (repeat until credits)

There’s entirely too much new TV this weekend to squeeze into this post. Feel free to add anything I didn’t include in the comments.

Saturday Night Live (NBC, Saturday) – Charles Barkley hosts. I love Charles. I do. But the reason I love him is his unfiltered, off-the-cuff observations about things, not necessarily his ability memorize lines and perform live sketch comedy. Fingers crossed. (Preview after the jump.)

Shameless/House of Lies/Californication (Showtime, Sunday) – Season premieres for “Shameless” and “Californication,” and series premiere for “House of Lies.” I, for one, admire their commitment to quality programming and gratuitous nudity.

The Firm (NBC, Sunday) – The premiere of the series based on the John Grisham book and Tom Cruise movie. Let me get this on the record: if any shady Southern law firm wants to offer me a wheelbarrow full of cash to work for them, I am ALL EARS. Seriously. I won’t ask any questions as long as the checks clear.

Merlin (Syfy, Sunday) – Season 4 premiere. I had no idea this show existed until about five minutes ago. Hi, I’m a TV blogger!

Downton Abbey (PBS, Sunday) – Season 2 premiere. I have Season 1 on my DVR, and I want to get through it before Sunday night. It is also the first weekend of the NFL playoffs. There is a 0% chance I am successful. Such is life.

The Simpsons (FOX, Sunday) – Homer gets a political radio show and endorses Ted Nugent for president. TYPICAL LIBERAL HOLLYWOOD ELITE LOOKING DOWN ON THE COMMON FOLKS FROM THEIR IVORY TOWE… what now? Ted Nugent. Oh. Nevermind.

Hell on Wheels (AMC, Sunday) – “Hell on Wheels” would be a good name for a satanic roller derby team. Think it over, devil worshipers.

Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-off (Food Network, Sunday) – I covered this yesterday, but you should also read Max Silvestri’s hilarious write-up on it at Grantland. I’m beginning to fear I might start watching this show. I don’t have to explain myself to you people.

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