Dustin Diamond, the actor who played Screech on “Saved by the Bell” before attaining such lofty heights as banruptcy (2001) and a sex tape (2006), is coming out with a new tell-all book, Behind the Bell, that provides shocking revelations about the iconic ’90s teen series. Shocking revelations like… marijuana use!
I could smell a certain ’smoke,’ wafting from from the crack” underneath his castmates’ dressing rooms, says Diamond, 32.
He also alleges costarMark Paul Gosselaar — who played popular Zack Morris — used steroids before production started on 1994’s short-lived Saved by the Bell: The College Years.
“He suddenly exploded with manliness [that's what SHE said - Ed.], loading 25 pounds of muscle on his once-scrawny frame in, oh, about a month,” says Diamond, who is not in touch with any of his costars. (Gosselaar, 35, has dismissed his costar’s so-called revelations to Us: “We weren’t in rehab and Mr. Belding wasn’t my crack dealer.”)
Diamond… goes on to say his costars hooked up off-camera. “If Kelly [Tiffani Thiessen] was interested in Slater [Mario Lopez] one week, then backstage there was a lot going between them in Mario [Lopez]’s room,” he tells the new Us Weekly. “Then, if Jessie [Elizabeth Berkley] kisses Zack, then you know Elizabeth Berkley is going in Mark-Paul’s room.” [Us Weekly]
So there you go. Some young people in Hollywood did drugs and had sex, alleges broke failure. Stop the presses. No, seriously, stop the presses. Don’t print any more copies of this book, no one wants it.
Dennis Haskins, whom we all remember as Mr. Belding on “Saved by the Bell” (probably because he still calls himself Mr. Belding), is releasing an album of him singing karaoke songs.
This CD/DVD combo package contains an audio CD with 7 karaoke songs [see track list below]. The purchaser can choose to sing along with Dennis,
Lucky us.
or sing solo to the additional instrumental tracks. The CD can be placed into a CD-G karaoke machine and lyrics will appear on the screen. The DVD contains interviews with artist and producer Dennis Haskins and behind the scenes footage of recording the project.
You know what? I was all set to tear him to shreds for this, because it’s pretty pitiful to make a career out of clinging to your place in pop culture history — c’mon, at least re-invent yourself on “Celebrity Rehab” — but then I stopped myself. Why? Because this still isn’t as embarrassing as Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls.
Those wacky Bayside kids are at it again (whips on oversized neon sunglasses and slap bracelet, is then sued by Kanye West)! Apparently a couple “Saved by the Bell” regulars are miffed because they didn’t make it onto the pointless People reunion cover. The actor who played Mr. Belding is so distraught, he’s even referring to himself in the third person.
“I earned the right to be there. If anybody deserved to be on that cover, it was Dennis Haskins,” he explained. “I want people to know it was not my choice not to be there, because I would have been there. It hurts my feelings, but I’ll live.”
“Think of all the high jinx my fictional character was put through by those unkempt youngsters!”
Meanwhile, Screech had a deal in place to pen a tell-all book about the series, but now that’s apparently off the table. I guess you have to feel sorry for these guys, seeing as how this show is the only way they’ll ever be known outside of creepy sex tapes and dancing at concerts with Tony Romo. Unless, like me, you’re incapable of compassion, in which case you’ll be pulling for one of them to pull the first ever celebrity regicide. King Abdullah’s got it coming!
Tiffani Thiessen remains the only “Saved by the Bell” cast member who hasn’t signed on for a reunion on Jimmy Fallon’s “Late Night” show, and she made a joke-y video for Funny or Die (see below) to explain why she’s too busy to do it. Apparently she’s making cat videos and helping NASA and some other whimsical things that I didn’t find very funny. It’s obviously supposed to show that she has a sense of humor about the situation, but it fails because if she had a sense of humor about it, she’d just go and do the stupid reunion. Dammit, Tiffani, an entire generation of Americans had to shut their brains off to like that retarded-ass show, the least you could do is indulge in our nostalgia. Who do you think you are? Jennie Garth?
In an appearance that harkened back to simpler, uglier times, Mark-Paul Gosselaar appeared in character as Zach Morris on last night’s episode of “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.” It had everything you were happy to forget about the ’90s: French-rolled acid wash jeans, a gigantic cell phone, and Elizabeth Berkeley before she got naked in Showgirls. But the highlight is definitely Gosselaar playing Zach Attack’s “Friends Forever” with the Roots (starting with 1:45 remaining). Eventually, I may one day have my mind NOT blown by the fact that the Roots are Jimmy Fallon’s house band. I’m thinking probably the year 2028.
Gallery: 1988 in Los Angeles is currently hosting an exhibit called Idiot Box Artwork, in which all of the shown pieces are inspired by “television’s guilty pleasures.” A good deal of it is super-duper vomit-in-your-sleep scary, but we’ll get to that in a moment. First, let’s talk about “Knight Rider vs. Air Wolf.” It sold for a mere $125, when it’s very obviously a million-dollar idea.
The full selection (with prices) is available here, but I’ve pulled some of the creepier images for the gallery below. “Saved by the Bell” is pretty twisted, but the Urkel portrait is what’s really going to make me sew my eyes shut. I’d actually rather watch an entire episode of “Family Matters” than look at that again.
